บท 12: dragon fight
[wake up...]
...
[wake up Sam...!]
...
[BITCH WAKE UP OR I WILL TELEPORT A HORSE DILDO UP YOUR ASS!]
With a loud gasp, Sam woke up and tried to stand up, only to discover he was not able to move, as he was buried under the rubble of the Inn.
Sam: what hit me??
He murmured while noting that everything in his body hurts.
[that would be the dragon ass that flied through the Inn you were staying.]
What? A dragon so early on? Why?...okay stupid question. This is not the Game, this is real life, people here think, and adapt to the current situation of the world, and Dragons were no different.
Unlike in the game, dragons are free to roam skyrim however they want and not only the places they were scripted to be in the game.
ehh...this is probably a wake-up call...he could have been killed, and he wouldn't even know how. The dragon came out of nowhere, and he didn't even have the chance to react.
He was at the wrong place, at the wrong time.
a cruel twist of fate would have killed him, and he couldn't even do anything about it.
[mission: kill the dragon]
[reward: one monster card.]
Sam: FUS! RO! DAH!
With the words needed for the unrelenting force shout escaped his mouth, the rubble that was above Sam, was sent flying away into the sky.
Try to imagine how high the player is launched when hit by a giant. Or as it is better know...try to imagine the player after initiating the "giant space program".
Sam: i came here to chew bubble gum and kick some dragon ass!
Shouted Sam, making the dragon, and guards stop fighting. The shout Sam used was enough to startle the guards, and to bring the attention of the Dragon.
After all the Thu'um originated from Dragons, so it was normal that the Dovah was interested in this human.
Sam: and i am all out of Gum!
The dragon let out a snort and soon bright yellow flames were shot out of his...mouth? Snout?...snout seems correct. Well anyway, he shot yellow flames from his snout and aimed them at Sam.
Time to put that firebending to use.
Thrusting both of his hands forward, Sam successfully stopped the flames coming his way, and doing a 360 rotation he redirected the flames back at the shocked dragon.
Sam: how do you like that! you-
unfortunately the dragon was completely fine
Sam: -beutiful creature! (''>_>)
At this point, the dragon completely forgot about the guards and jumped at Sam, making him let out a girly- *akhem* i mean, "Manly" scream and started to run away.
Why is not using the mastersword? He doesn't know how.
Sure the {batman card} makes him skilled with martial arts, but unfortunately, the batman didn't know how to use a sword apparently! What about the {Jetstream Sam card} i hear you ask? Well Jetstream sam knows how to use a katana, not a broadsword.
He is fucked!
There is a giant flying lizard chasing after him, and he doesn't even know how to use the equipment he is carrying!
The fear he felt right now is equal to that time, he was first chased by Mr.X when he was playing resident evil 2...WAIT THAT'S IT!
Taking out a RPG from his infinite storage of every item in the omniverse, he turned around...aimed...FIRED!!!...and missed.
Sam: oh, no.
It was the last thing he said before the dragon swallowed him whole.
Which means he was very much alive as the dragon didn't chew, but unfortunately slowly melting away in the stomach acid...thank god for regeneration potions.
Taking out his golden mastersword he started to slash and stab all around him, literally killing the dragon from the inside. He could feel the dragon trashing, but it didn't stop him. He kept going until the beast finnaly stopped moving.
Sam: WHERE. THE. FUCK. IS. THE. DRAGONBORN!
He yelled one word at the time with every swing.
No seriously, the dragon is dead, where is the dragonborn to absorb its soul, and burn away the flesh from the body? That would be more convenient than slashing his way out.
After what he felt was an eternity, but was in reality only 2 minutes, Sam finally made a hole in the dragon body and came out of it.
When he was fully out, he could see that he was completely red from the dragon blood.
Ewww....
[mission completed.]
[you have gained {Lynel card}]
[Monster card can be only used to summon the monster as your companion.]
Sam: oh? Does that rule also counts to human cards?
[no. if you want to have sex, you need to work for it.]
Feeling irritated that the system so quickly saw through his "master plan", Sam clicked his tongue and let out a sigh.
This is a bad day...and its only morning!
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