บท 26: Sky Log #20: Moving On
(Continuation from Sky Log #16: Apologies That Were Never Said. This is the last log for this matter.)
Today, under the big Sakura tree at Home, I was enjoying the falling Sakura petals. They were very beautiful, fluttering down on the ground like pink snow until the ground was gradually covered with them. It was during this peaceful moment when I came to terms with some things.
I think there comes a moment when… extreme sadness comes to realization. The realization that it is time to move on. It doesn't mean that you will forget what had happened.
It just means that you have come to terms with it.
I have come to accept with what had happened in the disastrous fight between May and Asmo, with how my family ended up adrift and how it may be possible that things may never seem the same again. The future is unknown. It is uncertain. But that's a good thing. It's a good thing that I don't know what will come next because I can hope.
And I can hope that someday, we will have a day we can just… hang out.
Just like old times.
Upon writing Sky Log #16: The Apologies That Were Never Said, I have come to an understanding.
In the midst of my pain and confusion, I have forgotten the impact the rift has caused within my Sky family. I was not the only one in pain and in confusion. Each member of my family was also in pain. They each has their own scars, their own "blame" to bear. They believed that in some way, they have contributed to what have transpired.
But we do have one thing in common.
We didn't want this to happen.
The fight didn't resolve the way I, or everyone, hope it would. That both Asmo and May actually talk about what was wrong and come to a compromise. However, with the differing language barriers, cultures and personalities, I believe it would be a lot harder for them to face each other and talk it out.
I often wondered… Do they feel guilty? Both May and Asmo?
At some point, I do feel angry about them. Some days, I'm just disappointed. I felt they created a mess, left it as it was and then, they moved on. As though nothing happened. Only difference is that they are tense around each other. But how about us? Some of us are stuck in the middle, a few are confused about what really happened and we are left to carry the weight of all. It was like a storm has abruptly visited and left.
Perhaps to them, the fight has ended. There was nothing to talk about anymore. There were no grounds for any peaceful talk to resolve things between them.
So, they move on.
In the end, we, like them, should move on.
Perhaps, there could be something we could have done before. Perhaps, we should have known better. Perhaps, there could be some better way. However, all that is in vain when the people involved has moved on. No use getting hung over the past. No matter how much we clung to it, agonize over it, we can't change it.
That is the truth we have to accept.
I think, for the betterment of our health, we should forgive ourselves and move on. Stop thinking about the things that had happened but learn from it. Focus on the present and do better in the future. We have many opportunities to be friends again. But even if there is none, just create one. When there is a will, there is a way.
Now, you may ask.
Will there be a day when we have all 8 people on a farming trip?
Everyone who laughs at each other's jokes while being led by David. Everyone who smiles at each other, delighted in one another's company. Some will lend a hand to burn the plants, open the doors while others will grace the rest with their music or make some small talk.
To be honest, I don't know.
What I do know… is that I have to move on.
The blame was not on me to bear. Neither was it on anyone.
So, I hope that the members of my family understand that this was not your fault.
Forgive yourself, and move on.
A/N:
I know I'm a few days late from the usual posting dates. I figured it would be best if I post it today since today is a public holiday for my place here.
I don't know if the readers here came from my Instagram, @darkwinter3. That's where I put up my posting dates and other trivia from "Sky: Children of Light" and "IdentityV" as well as recommendations for stories/novels, movies and even anime. It was intended to promote my stories but I realised I don't garner a lot of attention because it is writing and it is not drawings. In rare moments, I create videos from Identity V or from Sky but I highly doubt I can make any these days. Also, I don't do regular posts so please don't expect me to give you new content everyday because I can go offline for days.
So if you are not following me from Instagram, I will announce it here and in the other platforms: I'm taking a two weeks break from this story because I'm really too busy. (T-T) I will resume it in August. Thank you for your support in reading this story and I'll see you guys soon.
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