บท 15: Chapter 15
What are you doing? Linda asked, with a seed of worry blooming in her hushed voice. Do you have any sugar deficiency that I dont know about?
I pushed another quarter through the slot and stepped back when the clink of the coin reverberated underneath the metallic skin. I reached the small rectangle of rounded buttons on the left and pressed two of them sharply, impatience turning my index finger into a hammer. The soft mechanical response touched my ears and a silver loop coiled back from the red sachet, like a snake releasing a victim from its grip. A few seconds later, a light thump flattened at the bottom.
Whatever this is, you have to stop, Linda added. Her voice was a combination of exasperation and concern.
I bent forward and shoved my hand past the PUSH door. Just in need to taste the rainbow, I said while pulling out the bag of Skittles. I straightened, dropped the candy into my tote, and glanced at Linda. No need to freak out over that, grandma.
Please, you are more than welcome to taste the rainbow, and the clouds, and the rain all you want, but this?She squeezed the bottom of my tote and got a dry crackling sound in answer. You can load an entire Christmas sock with thisand have an overdose of calories. Not that it would affect you, anyway.
Exactly, I said, taking my cue to carry on.
What are you doing?
Cant you find something more original to ask? I took out more quarters and neared the life-saving vending machine. You sound like a parakeet with poor talking skills.
Dafne, stop. You are not buying more crap. You have enough chocolates and candy to feed an entire nation.
Actually, theres no way I would feed an entire nation without Hot Tamales. I mean, how can they not have them here? That is an outrage. I waved my hands in the air. An offense to high-quality food dispensers. I moved on to the next machine with the words GET A GRIP ON YOUR THIRST crowning the top. After all Lindas talk about tasting the rain, my throat had squeezed in delight and dried in anticipation.
Food? You call that food?
Everything you take into your mouth and ends up in your belly is food. That includes the occasional spider that crawls up into your open mouth while youre sleeping, or some other type of nasty bug. It doesnt matter. Another thump and the iced tea was ready for my hand.
Couldnt you at least leave aside your iced tea ritual today and take water instead? She aimed her brown eyes over the large can, disapproval flickering in them like two torches on a shadowy passageway. Give your body a break from the caloric savagery.
Like the one you need to give me from the nosy assault you cant seem to stop? I asked her with ice-sharp voice, the cold indigo in my eyes unearthing icebergs between us.
She planted her feet and stood there silently, her shoulders slumped. I knew she could sense the cold walls Id erected, thin as a gauzy veil and hard as glass. But a veil was fragile and glass was breakable, and she knew this, too. She knew they werent as impervious and paramount as the ones I placed with other people, but they were there, etching a scar between us. And that hurt her.
Linda, Im I caught my lower lip with my teeth and gave a frustrated sigh. This is why I need chocolates, okay? Now you see it?
No, she said. I dont.
I looked aside, bringing down my shoulders in despair and struggling to find a way to explain why my temper was balancing on a wire instead of being tied up. And the candy outburst gave me an idea. Im on my period, I muttered, looking back at her. Itd been a lie, of course. But she didnt have a way to knowunless she highlighted the days on that meticulous agenda of hers, which wouldnt have been as bizarre as one would think. Her enhanced motherly instinct pushed her to do things like this. That candy rebuke was one among hundreds.
So? She shrugged off my excuse.
So, I need an overflow of sugar running through my body. Its the only thing that calms me down. I pointed my eyes at her. And you know what a hard case I can be if I dont wolf down sugary stuff. That myth of girls turning into creatures of hellokay, maybe not a mythevery time their moontime came was absolutely true. Not every girl was subject to this horrible allegory, but I was.
Though, when wasnt I?
Hah, youre lying. Its always ice cream with you in those days, tons and tons of ice cream, even the occasional brownie, but not Skittles or Snickers, she said, looking at the bottom of the tote cuddling my hip. You only use them when youre enraged about something and when
Ice cream has sugar. And guess what? Skittles and Snickers have sugar as well. Its all the same.
And when, she repeated, squelching my words aside. Something involves your sisters boyfriend. Actually, you only eat this stuff when its Ianand when your Hot Tamales supplies have perished.
Having best friends was a wonderful thing, so rewarding and special. A treasure, Gran wouldve saida rail one could hold on to when falling. But sometimes, people knowing you like the back of their hands, or like those favorite songs blasting through their earphones, wasnt that wonderful. It was, in fact, a royal pain in the neck. I dont care about that douche bag. He can go and choke the life out from him with his guitar strings if he wants. I sneered, that fire Id been working on so hard to smother since last night about to explode into a firestorm. I slid my hand into the tote and fished out the first chocolate my hand found. My heated body needed a good injection of cooling sugar.
Since you spent more than twenty bucks in that machine, it must be pretty bad this time. She arched her eyebrows, her eyes flying with possible ideas.
I peeled of the noisy paper from the bar and plunged my teeth into the hard-mushy concoction, biting out a mouthful of nuts and caramel. Though I wasnt very fond of nutsId always felt they tasted like woodtheir marriage with chocolate was definitely good. This time, however, lovely Ian doesnt know it. I mumbled between munches, the streams of sweetness sliding past my tongue and into my body. The fire was already decreasing, as if flaming trees amid a firestorm were being splashed with water.
Okay, so, maybe its not as bad as you think. I mean, if he doesnt know that what he did was wrong, maybe there wasnt an evil purpose behind whatever it was he did, she added after realizing she still didnt know whatd happened.
It is bad, I said, taking another mouthful of chocolate. Suddenly, one bar didnt seem enough to cool me down. And he did have a purpose.
Tell me what it was, then.
I was about to explain that treacherous truce of his when I spotted the double Js and Buffy walking toward us. They hadnt seen me yet. Their prattle was all too interesting to pay attention to the rest of the human beings in the hallway. Taking my chance, I pulled Linda by the hand and dragged her toward the storage room standing a few feet away from the busy cafeteria, careful to avoid the trioBuffy especially. Linda was utterly confused, I could see it from the corner of my eye, but she never said anything. She just kept along with my pace.
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