I wake up to the blinding lights coming from the window. I squint my eyes, then slowly sit up.
"Holy motherfucking shit." I cuss because of the massive headache and the pain between my legs.
"Wow. That's a lot of cuss words." A voice says beside me and I flinch before I see it's Christian.
"Thanks." I mutter.
"How much exactly did you drink?" He asks as lo sitting up.
"Lost count after four."
"So you don't remember what happened last night then?" He sounded disappointed.
"What do you-" I slowly started to remember all what that happened from after I got drunk till why I am here.
Oh my god
I just had sex with Christian.
Oh my god
Oh my god
"Panda?" Christian calls out to me with a smile.
"Hmm?"
"I said would you like some coffee?" He asks with amusement.
"Um... Y-y-yeah sure. I'd love some."
"Cool." He got off the bed and thankfully had his boxers on. He went into his closet and brings me a top and he throws it. I catch it and he winks at me. He then walks out of the room.
I hurriedly put on his top and wear my panties before goimg to meet him downstairs.
"Here you go." He hands me my coffee as soon as I reach him.
"Listen Christian, about last night-" I started
"It was the best night I've ever had." He says and I blush. "And you don't have anything to be nervous or scared about okay? I'm here with and for you." He says and I smile.
"Thanks." The doorbell rings and I look at Christian confused.
"That must be the pizza I ordered."
"Really? You ordered pizza?" I asked as I walk to the door.
"What?" I don't reply him instead and just roll my eyes and open the door.
I see a brown eyed, blue hair, toned skin, pouty lips, cat eyes, girl standing out the door, who when she sees me, her smile immediately falls. She is dressed in a really short shorts and a really tight crop top.
"Is Chris home?"
Chris?
"And who are you?" Immediately I ask, her smile comes back.
"That's none of your business. I just want to see Chris."
"He's-"
"Who are you?" She sneered.
"I'm-"
"You know what? I don't care. Just tell Chris that-"
"Hey panda, what's the hold-" Christian comes to meet me and I turn to see his grey eyes darken as soon as he sees the brown eyed girl.
"Honey booboo bear!!!!!"
What?
"Raven. What are you doing here?" Christian asks coldly.
"Raven?" I ask confused.
"Yes. I'm his girlfriend."
What?
"Ex girlfriend." Christian says laying emphasis on ex.
"Aw my darling Chris. We both know you didn't mean it when you broke up with me." She smiles crazily.
"You are delusional Raven."
"So you are panda right?" Raven disregards Christian and looks at me.
"It's Ashley to you." I spat at her.
"Oooohhhuuu feisty " She smiles and looks at Christian with a serious expression. "So who's this thing?"
"I am not a thing and I am his girlfriend." I didn't know where all these confidence was coming from, but I liked every ounce of it.
"She's kidding right?" She asks Christian but he just smiles. "You mean to tell me," Her voice was starting to rise. "That this thing," she points at me, "is claiming my boyfriend is hers?"
"Yes." Christian says with a calm voice and it irkes Raven more, making her brown eyes look black.
"So you think you can just dump me and be with this slut? This rubbish?" She takes a deep breath and speaks up again. "You are mine and only mine." She says which makes me scoff.
"Oh and Ashley, I give you just five days to leave Chris alone or else." She glares at me.
"Or else what?" I glare back at her.
"You wouldn't want to find out." She smiles in a sick way and walks away but not before blowing Christian a kiss.
I walk away from the door and go to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water. I hear Christian's steps behind me.
He is silent and not saying anything as if waiting for me to explode.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask calmly and he looks a little bit surprised.
"I didn't think it was necessary."
What?
"You are telling me right now that you think it wasn't necessary to tell me that you had a deranged, delusional ex girlfriend who is obsessed with you and will do anything to make you hers, even though it involves killing me?" I begin to shout.
"Ashley, she didn't matter. She doesn't matter. Only you matter. Raven is just a spoilt little brat who is all talk. So don't be disturbed by her okay?"
"Yeah. Like you said, a spoilt little brat. A spoilt little brat who can do anything to get what she wants."
"Ashley-"
"I don't just know why you didn't tell me."
"And what difference would that have made huh? What difference would it have made if I had told you I had an ex girlfriend?"
"At least I would have known." I whispered and turned to go upstairs.
"Panda." I didn't answer. "Panda." I just kept on walking.
Before I could climb a step, I was pulled back and Christian's lips landed on mine. His lips left as fast as they came.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Raven. Please don't be mad." He pleads and I know couldn't stay mad at him.
I know I shouldn't be mad at him for such a minor thing but something about her and what she said to me, doesn't just feel right.
"And I'm also sorry. Is this why you said I shouldn't call you Chris?"
"Hell yeah. Listen panda,I know this is not the right time, but I want to ask you something." He says and I suddenly feel nervous.
"What is it?" I ask and he pulls me into the living room and sits with me on the couch.
"Um.... I don't know how you are going to feel about this but," He scratches the back of his head
"C'mon, just out with it."
"I want you to start driving again." My face paled.
What?
"What do you mean, you want me to start driving again?" I moved back a little. "You know what happened. You know what happened the last time I almost got in a driver's seat."
"I know panda, but I think-"
"But you think what Christian? I have panic attacks just thinking about it." I feel myself starting to hyperventilate.
"Panda. Breathe. I'm going to be here for you. I'm not going anywhere..I'm going to help you overcome this. So please just trust me okay?" Christian tries to say but I can't hear him.
"But-"
"I know it's going to be hard. I know it might take a while. I promised myself I was going to help you solve your problems. And I'm going to. So please let me help."
Bingo.
"And I also promised myself I would never go near a driver's seat again. So just please. I'm not physically, mentally and emotionally ready to face that problem yet."
"Panda-"
"Please Christian. Please. When I'm ready, I'll let you know okay?"
"What if you are never ready?"
"We'll cross that bridge when we get there." I say and Christian sighs in defeat.
The doorbell rings and I smile.
"The pizza's here."
Hey guys.
is it just me or is Raven going to be a major threat??
Anywayyyyy, don't forget to vote and comment!!!!
I paced anxiously around my room. I was feeling nervous about talking with my mom. Like actually striking a conversation with her. My mom that I haven't had a proper conversation with for 3 years.
Great.
I sat down on my bed and did what Christian taught me whenever I felt anxious. Close your eyes and take.5.deep.breaths.
Okay you can do this Ashley
I close my eyes, in and out, 1, in and out,2, ......, in and out, 5.
Great. You can do this girl.
It has been a month since Raven came by and I guess Christian was right. She is all talk.
I stood up and walked down stairs to the kitchen to meet my mom by the counter staring at Lucy's picture, and holding a bottle of wine. She didn't even notice my presence.
"Um...hey.....mom." I choked out but she didn't move a muscle.
"Mom?" Again no response.
This is going to be really hard
"Mother?" Finally, she stood up and was about to walk out of wine the kitchen when I asked something that stopped her in her tracks.
"Are you really my mother?" Silence, silence and silence.
"What did you say?" She slowly turns to me and I swallow nothing in particular.
"I said, are you really my mother?"
"And why would you think that Ashley?" She asks as if daring me to say something off.
"And what do you think the answer is?"
"What?" She seemed shocked that I answered her question with a question.
Good.
"Ever since Lucy died,you always acted like she was the only daughter you had, like I was a stranger, that you-"
"Is that why you asked that question?" She interrupted me.
"Well, I didn't have any other reason for you to be acting like this."
"Ashley I lost a daughter!!!" Her voice rises a little.
"And you emotionally killed the other one!!" She looked taken aback with my sudden outburst.
"What?"
"Ever since Lucy died, you placed everything on me. Okay, I ran out of the house. Okay, I drove the car. Okay, I ran into a tree. But it wasn't only her in the car mom!!" My voice was starting to rise every second. "I could have also died! I could have been brain dead. I-" I was practically shouting now.
"You neglecting me, pushing me aside, after all the trauma I faced, all the nightmares I had, MOM, I ALSO HAD TO SEE MY SISTER SUFFER! You blaming everything on me after all that happened, emotionally killed me mom! It was killing me! I was depressed! When I needed my mother the most, she treated me like a total stranger!" I could feel an headache coming, so I went to one of the cupboards and grabbed an aspirin and a glass of water. Popped them into my mouth and set the glass in the sink. I didn't wait for a reply, I walked out of the kitchen and ran up to my room.
I laid on my bed and covered myself with my duvet. There was a soft knock on my door.
"It's open."
The door gently opens and my mom walks in.
"Hey." She called gently. "Can I sit?" She asks pointing to my bed.
"Sure." I sat up and sighed. She begins to talk.
"When I got married to your father, I couldn't give birth early. A year passed, then 2,3, then 5 years passed, I couldn't conceive. I was devastated. So your father and I made a decision to adopt a child and we found out a woman was dying due to hunger and lack of nutrition. She was already on her death bed. She had a one year old daughter, who her mother wanted her to live, so she gave her to me because she said I had a look in my eyes that told her, her baby girl will be in safe hands. I promised her that I'll keep her daughter safe and she wouldn't die early. That woman died shortly after. The one year old we adopted was Lucy.
What?
The look of shock must have been evident on my face because she smiled.
"But-"
"I know, she resembles you guys. It was also shocking to me also. So two years after, I conceived, the joy I knew had no bounds. Then I gave birth to Tyler. I didn't love Lucy less though. I still loved her like my own daughter.
So when she died, I felt like l had betrayed her mother. And the pain and guilt I felt then was too much for me to handle. Losing a child, I promised her dying mother to keep safe was really painful. So I needed someone to blame, someone to put the guilt on because I didn't want to carry it alone, and who better to blame than the person who was there when it all happened." She gently takes my hand in hers and squeezes it.
"Honey, I'm deeply sorry for how I acted and treated you.I blamed you and I emotionally hurt you. I also know you were there, but I wasn't thinking. I just lost a child who wasn't blood related but I treated my real one like a stranger. I'm so sorry for not being there when you needed me.
Honey, I'm so so sorry. When you questioned my maternity for you, it finally hit me. That I failed to the extent my daughter doesn't believe, I'm her mom." She was already in tears and I was starting to feel bad for raising my voice at her earlier.
"I'm sorry mom." I hug her.
"No. I'm sorry. And I promise to always be there for you and start acting like a mother again." She pulls away and I wipe her tears with my hands.
"Oh that reminds me. I'll be right back." She stood up and walks out of the room. She comes back a while later, holding a white envelope and she sits back on the bed.
"The night before Lucy died, she told me to give you this letter." She said holding out the white envelope.
What?
Okay. That's settled?
Make me happy by voting and commenting your thoughts so far.
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