บท 65: Chapter 65 The Fantastic Four
Sitting in front of Harry may not have been the oddest thing he'd ever seen, but it at least ranked in the top ten. Well, fifteen. ~ish.
It was a little bit smaller than an average sized dog and slightly fuzzy. Its skin was bright purple and covered in wrinkles like a sphynx cat, though its ears were fluffy. It's head resembled a miniature hippo and it had a large tail half the length of its body that ended in a hardened claw-like appendage.
On the creature's head were two horns, one tiny, set between its nostrils, while the other was large and curved, going from its forehead and extending back with a curve and a length twice the size of its skull.
This was the result of an experiment using the Apple of Discord, Harry's trophy for being an awesome prankster. The Apple could transform itself into nearly anything but had unusual limits. It could only transform into things which could be used for pranks, mischief, or chaos in general. As long as he thought of an item he could use for a prank, he could make the apple transform into it.
Standing in front of Harry was the apple displaying a transformation into something Harry wasn't sure actually existed. A few months ago, Hermione sent a copy of a magazine called the Quibbler to Harry and it was there Harry learned of the questionable existence of the Crumple-Horned Snorkack.
According to the magazine article, the Crumple-Horned Snorkack had a magical approximation of the exact same power as Harry's former roommate, Forget-Me-Not. Not long after seeing one, you would lose your memory of seeing it. This of course made the creature's existence difficult to prove as the only evidence that you encountered one would be your lack of memory of having seen it.
Of course, as the owner of the Apple and shaper of the image, that particular effect did not work on him. However Harry had confirmed with some magically conjured creatures that the effect did work. Harry also found that the creature's existence could be observed, but not recorded. A live image of the creature could be displayed on a video camera's live feed if streamed, but if the video was recorded and watched, the recording would lack the creature's presence. Same for digital cameras. The creature appeared on the screen of Harry's cellphone if he turned on the camera, but the creature would not exist in any saved pictured or stored videos. The same was true for pictures taken using film and disposable cameras.
Even if a Snorkack stepped in a pit of sand, its footprints would slowly vanish. If Harry drew a picture of it, the picture would slowly distort until it didn't look like a Snorkack.
The level of reality manipulation required in order to achieve this effect was not something to look down upon. Especially because this was not even the actual creature, but an imitation of it created using the Apple of Discord based on Harry's knowledge of the Crumple-Horned Snorkack. Harry wasn't even sure that being able to replicate the creature even proved its existence, it simply meant that Harry could use it for pranks.
Of course, the Apple's power was not limited to that. If Harry put some effort into it, he could charge the Apple with his own magic and set loose a horde of Crumple-Horned Snorkacks all over New York. No matter what they did, no one would have any evidence they existed the following day.
Harry couldn't say he wasn't tempted, but such a prank would require a truly special event so it should be saved for another day. Probably another city too. And another planet, just to be on the safe side.
For now, he'd just bring it out when he felt like it. If someone was bugging him, he'd throw a Crumple-Horned Snorkack at their face and later they wouldn't even know what happened to them. That was certainly more classy than a banana cream pie to the face.
After playing around with a holy artifact of unspeakable power, Harry headed out and picked up a newspaper before finding his way to the Baxter building. Harry already got the security codes to enter when he arranged for the renovators to set up Ben's bedroom and bathroom so he knew his way up.
The newspaper had a general summary only seventeen pages long of everything that happened the prior day.
Though many of the hostages did in fact click the button to enable Surveillance Mode, not everyone did. And many of those who did not streamed their camera's feed to friends, family, and a few news stations. This had a number of effects. First, it revealed the fact that streamed content from any camera had a ten second delay before it hit the receiver. The feed from cameras which enabled Surveillance Mode was nearly instantaneous.
The reason for the delay was that all publicly streamed footage would be scanned by dumb AIs to check if the content fell under anything that shouldn't be streamed. Or at least, that was what the press was told. The actual fact was that if someone caught someone using Magic on tape, the delay was used to shut down the feed.
Harry's phones were decently magic resistant and wouldn't fry immediately if used in magic rich areas. In the year since the phones were released, there were thirteen attempts to actively stream someone using Magic to someone else or to the internet. All attempts were stopped, flagged, and reported to the relevant Department of Magical law Enforcement. Amelia Bones had already assisted with the set up of a system for other countries to receive such notifications and so far, nothing had gotten through the cracks yet.
Most were just dumb kids who thought they could get away with it but when the DMLE showed up minutes later accusing them of violating the International Statute of Secrecy, they learned very quickly that these things were not jokes.
Most got off with a warning when they realized how serious it was but a few who did it with malicious intent were arrested. Both magical and nonmagical governments supported the Statute of Secrecy at the moment so it wasn't a small matter when someone tried to violate it.
The matter concerning the Mole Man was not determined to hold any great value for international secrecy so the content was not flagged and many news agencies directly streamed to their viewers what was streamed to them. A lot of security guards were fired that day, but they made a lot of money streaming their phones to those news agencies so they probably didn't care.
Because of this, almost everyone in the country and many in other countries knew of what happened meaning they also knew of Harry's antics.
Most News channels had a few clips of Harry running around planting 'Kick-Me' signs on the monstrous Ani-Men and there were at least a hundred different videos of Harry giving a prank phone call to the Mole Man when his life was in danger.
Unsurprisingly there were just as many videos of Reed and the rest fighting the Mole Man and his monsters and rescuing the hostages.
Everyone agreed that Reed's group were heroes, people who were willing to put themselves into danger to help others. But since the danger was far superior to other dangers and Reed's group had super powers, everyone seemed to unanimously agree that they were not just heroes, but Superheroes.
The concept of a superhero was something most agreed belonged in comics and in the modern era, the only superhero to ever emerge was Captain America. Of course in war, one country's hero is another country's enemy. Reed's group was the first group acknowledged by nearly all nations to be superheroes, the world's first publicly recognized superhero team.
Brilliance Inc. got a lot of good publicity as well. The command center sent by Link not only included hundreds of screens to monitor everything but also automatically mapped out the region giving those around them information to plan with. Of course, since they couldn't decide on a plan even with all that information, it looked rather bad for them, but Harry's company still got a lot of good press. Not just for freely providing information, but for being able to work hundreds of feet below the earth and still stream a quality picture. Those from other countries who didn't have a Brilliance Inc Phone would likely have one within the next week.
The fallout from what the press labeled, the Mole Man Crisis, was less than what most expected. Reed already found the machine which pressed the ground below the U.N. and offered to reverse it. Unsurprisingly the U.N. officials declined. Instead, Reed put into motion a system that would prevent it from happening again and freely distributed it to the world.
At the moment, a massive military detachment was stationed down that hole while everything of value in the U.N. was taken back. The location of the new U.N. Headquarters was still under discussion and would likely not be determined for some time. More than one general had argued to send a military force down the tunnels in retaliation, but the tunnels to Subterranea had already collapsed and there was little the military could do about it.
When Harry made it to the Baxter Tower's main floor and saw his students and their friends in a depressed slump watching the news, Harry couldn't help but tease, "How's the world famous Fantastic Four today?"
Everyone groaned.
Johnny said, "I can't believe they're using that guy's insults as names. Human Torch? What is this, the middle ages? Before yesterday, I've never even seen a torch before!"
Susan said, "What about me? Invisible Girl? Girl?! Who do they think they're calling a girl?!"
Ben cleared his rocky throat and gave a mild glare at the pair who both awkwardly looked away.
The papers had of course called the group the Fantastic Four, using Mole's Man's naming sense. Of the four, Ben was the unluckiest as the Mole Man just called him a thing and the newspapers ran with it. So while Susan had to suffer being called a girl, Ben was called the Thing.
Reed said, "I feel bad they're calling us heroes. I mean, I wanted to help them, but they weren't the reason we went down there."
Harry shrugged. Reed got badly caught in the moment when he told the Mole Man he'd stop him and save everyone, but the actual reason they went down there was to get Harry. Reed had already analyzed the anti-magic band Harry had given them and determined he would have no luck replicating it without Harry's help. If Harry died, Ben would be stuck as a rock forever so all four agreed to head out. They were of course stopped by the military, but when they saw one the monitors that Harry was going to be executed, they ignored the Military and headed down themselves.
The flying car was apparently built in the last couple of days for them and Ben since a normal car couldn't handle Ben's weight and Johnny insisted that it should fly.
Later they realized that Harry likely would have been fine. Harry carried all sorts of tech with him and was pretty much playing around the whole time.
Harry said, "It's not all bad, at least the Storm Foundation survived."
The Storm Foundation was able to get first shot at the pyramid because they made a lot of promises and though it wasn't their fault, the fact that the pyramid exploded and they couldn't keep those promises caused a lot of issues with creditors and other organizations. Everything completely changed of course due to their recent heroics. The creditors were pulling back and willing to give them more time on loan repayment at lower interest rates. The groups who were pressuring the Foundation found that others were pressuring them to leave it be and the almost dead Storm Foundation was able to breathe once more.
Harry pulled out some papers and said, "Sign these please."
Susan was the first to look it over and asked, "Harry, what are these?"
Reed was quite the speed reader and asked, "Likeness rights?"
Harry said, "You need to patent your likeness rights so others can't profit off your images. Apparently a few groups are already trying to do it, including Oscorp, but as long as you apply, you should win the rights to your own likeness."
Ben asked, "So what, they'll make toys and junk that look like us?"
Harry smiled, "They're already planning on it. Whether you get a profit off those toys will depend on you."
Reed had apparently finished reading through it all and asked, "Why are you setting this up Professor?" Harry didn't write in for himself to get a cut because he didn't need it.
Harry said, "I felt like it. And it's not like this won't benefit me. There are a few toy companies I have partial ownership of which could make some mighty fine toys. Especially if you let them make a toy of that flying car you put together."
Ben said, "I don't know Professor Potter."
Harry got out a few things and set up a hologram of Ben's large form in the shape of a toy. It was next to a toy version of Giganto. Two holographic kids were playing with the toys getting them to fight each other while smiling.
Harry said, "Christmas is right around the corner after all."
Ben smiled and agreed. Reed confirmed there was no downside and signed the papers. Harry ensured they were delivered where they were needed and would be approved soon. He also contacted a few groups to go ahead on the toy production.
After business was done, Harry started working with Reed on the anti-magic bands.
The problem they discovered when dealing with Power Cosmic was that it could turn any energy into Power Cosmic, even the energy powering the Anti-Magic bands. That meant the bands would need to be recharged or replaced regularly and were not a permanent solution to their problem and couldn't be used to give Ben a human form.
Harry brought a set of Meta-Gems keyed to the location for Reed to study to determine how they interacted with his powers. If they were ever removed from Baxter Tower, they would automatically disintegrate so Harry wasn't worried they would be stolen. Though when he saw the gleam of interest in Reed's eyes, he was worried what kind of things he'd build in the tower.
The following weeks were mostly normal, or as normal as New York gets.
For the last two weeks of classes before the end of the semester, Harry got in two more pranks.
The first required a lot of setup but was satisfying nonetheless.
During class, a man wearing a bubble wrap jumpsuit walked in and said, "I'm sorry to interrupt your class. Most of you know who I am."
Every student stood up at the same time, put their hands together with their thumbs crossed to make the letter Z, and said, "Zoltan!"
Zoltan nodded and smiled. "Tomorrow the ship will be launching and we will fly into space and meet cool aliens who actually like us."
The students all made another Z and shouted with enthusiasm once more, "Zoltan!"
Zoltan said, "Now, when you're driving out to the barn behind my parent's house, I just want to remind you all to be quiet as I don't want you to wake them. And remember to bring your space suits," he said, pointing at his bubble wrap jumpsuit.
The students made another Z and shouted again, "Zoltan," before finally sitting back down.
Zoltan smiled and left the classroom. Harry just stood there and gawked at everyone as if he couldn't believe what he'd seen. He looked openly confused, ill, and horrified by the class's actions.
After a few moments he shook his head and looked like he decided to forget about it and got back to his lecture.
Of course, the students were all just as confused and horrified.
The first part of this prank basically made all the students invisible except to themselves by making a field of bending light around their desks. The next step was to make a hologram over each student. This type of hologram couldn't be seen up close so the students couldn't see the hologram overlaid onto them, just onto everyone else.
The last step was setting up the audio. Harry doubted many noticed that the sound of 'Zoltan' came from their own desks as well as everyone else's though they remained silent.
So every student saw every other student stand up and say "Zoltan," making every one of them think they were the only student in class who didn't know what was going on.
Eventually they'd figure it out but Harry would be laughing his ass off until then.
The last week of the year didn't have the best prank but Harry considered it a classic.
The door to the classroom opened and the giant head of what could only be described as the Loch Ness monster came through the door. What was strange however was that it was wearing an enormous blonde wig and had a red strap around its neck with badges and on its wig was a giant red hat.
The Loch Ness Monster then said, "I'm selling girl scout cookies."
Harry acted as if the monster reaching its neck through the door wasn't from the cretaceous period and said, "Got any thin mints? How much for a box?"
"I need about treefiddy."
"Alright." Harry got out a wallet and handed the giant head the cash. The head then retracted completely through the door, and a moment later re-entered with a box of girl scout cookies. Harry took it and said "Thank you."
The 'girl scout' left and the door closed. A number of students were staring at the box and Harry noticed this and said, "What? Thin Mints are usually $4 a box, so that was a good deal." Harry then of course continued his lesson as they went over the details that would be on the finals.
By now a number of them were desensitized and Harry was looking forward to a new semester with new victi-, students, he was looking forward to new students.
The semester ended and Christmas was around the corner. A number of stores already had shelves filled with Fantastic Four toys and Mole Man and his giant monsters also got their own toys.
Harry and the girls all spent Christmas in Britain with Sirius and Amelia. Harry enjoyed watching Jade's shocked expressions at all the magic as this was her first introduction to the Wizarding World. Well, second according to Jade. She said her uncle Jackie once accidentally stumbled upon a group of wizards trying to use Stonehenge to destroy London a few years ago
Jade retold that story to everyone of course, describing the wizards who spent the entire time chasing her and Jackie for knowing too much even though they had no idea what it was they knew.
This had Sirius laughing his arse off while Amelia was writing down the details and would likely see if she could find and arrest these wizards.
They returned home after the party and thanks to the difference in time zones still had a few hours before the end of the day. Due to the nature of some of the gifts given and received, they all decided to spend that time together in bed.
*Ping*
[Sex Path has risen to Rank 19]
It was a good night.
Though exhausted, the girls did not go to sleep. Harry opened a portal to a mountain range and everyone stepped through.
Harry handed Jean a mokeskin pouch with an undetectable extension charm and a few dozen other things built into it. Within the pouch was a wizard's tent that was modified to work in space, several hundred years worth of food, precious metals of every type, hundreds of different types of clothes, and of course, several Phoenix Fire infused reality bombs.
It was time for Jean to fulfill her duties as the Avatar of the Phoenix Force. Every time she used its power, she'd gain awareness of what the Phoenix knew and the Phoenix knew what needed to be burnt in the universe and why. Though most of that knowledge faded when the power was not in use, not all of it did and Jean had reached her limit on ignoring the need to remove those planets.
Harry had no way to track the actual location of the planets so Jean had to simply find them herself, one by one. Not all of them were close by and some were not even in the same galaxy. Jean would be able to use the full power of the Phoenix Force to move there but she couldn't teleport there or use a portal meaning the trip would take time.
In addition to a dozen magical items to be used for her protection and safety, Harry also made her a beacon type intergalactic portkey. It used Harry's position as a point of return and was powered by Harry's magic. Normal portkeys certainly could not be used from different planets, much less different galaxies since they weren't strong enough. It only worked if Harry powered the Portkey's return from his side.
No one had any idea how long it would take for Jean to return. Weeks, months, years. It was even possible she would not return for centuries. Thankfully, Harry was able to make an AstralTech transmitter and receiver which should allow her to send a receive message to Harry regardless of the distance so they'd be able to keep in touch. If they were a few galaxies away, the messages would take a couple of days to travel, but it was still a lot better than nothing. Jean would be spending most of her time traveling through the void so she wouldn't be able to chat, but she'd be able to give updates after each planet.
Everyone came through the portal to say their goodbyes.
Rogue said, "If you find anything nice on those planets, feel free to snatch 'em up first."
Jade said, "And Pictures! Take pictures! I bet there's lots of cool things in space!"
Wanda added, "If you find any planets not on your list, feel free to check them out as long as you tell us. Harry's probably going to head out to the big wide world eventually so a map and a traveler's guide would be useful."
Harry shook his head at their antics and said, "Above all, remember to stay safe. I don't care if you can revive yourself from your own ashes. I prefer you to stay in one piece for as long as possible and come back to us."
Harry took Jean in her arms and she was quickly surrounded by a group hug and was already crying.
"And remember Jean. No matter what happens to you, no matter what you do. You will always be my wife, the one I love, until death do us part."
Jean and everyone else smiled at that. Harry and Jean were pretty much immortal so that was his way of saying he'd be with her forever.
Jean separated from their hug and was slowly enveloped by flames. She said, "I love you all. I promise I'll return as soon as I can."
With that, she flashed and a steak of light extending into the darkness of the sky shined for a moment before vanishing. The reason Harry took them to this mountain range was because there were no satellites around to see Jean leave from here.
Harry made another portal and everyone returned to bed. They stayed in Harry's room that night for comfort and closeness as they all hoped Jean would return to them soon.
The first week of the New Year didn't bring too many surprises. The only thing of interest which occurred was a hacking attempt against Harry's company servers. They technically got in and downloaded everything, but it was only considered an attempt because the hackers targeted the dummy computers in the dummy buildings Harry registered as the main site for Brilliance Inc.
Because the actual labor was mostly done by Goblins, Harry needed fake companies to look like they were doing the work on paper. One of those fakes was the target. The Goblin who informed Harry of this had a vicious, toothy grin. The data on the server would look normal but once you loaded that data into anything, it would turn into the most vicious sort of virus.
Goblins loved all forms of combat. To Goblins, even business was a form of combat, so hacking was as well. The viruses hidden within those dumb files were updated nearly every other week and there were entire groups of Goblins competing against each other to see who could create the most vicious virus and anti-virus. The winner would have their virus stored on the servers and it was considered a great honor.
This was not the first time they'd been hacked, but this was the first time the hackers had gotten past the half-assed fire walls the Goblins made. As far as they were concerned, anyone who couldn't get past those firewalls was not fit for cyber-warfare.
The smile on the Goblin who gave Harry the news made him ask, "Which group's virus was in there this week?"
The Goblin's smile because even more viciously cruel, "It was Stonebreaker's war party."
Harry thought back to them and remembered what they specialized in with a bit of horror. They're viruses didn't just destroy or steal data. They actually caused the computers to heat up and would shut off the cooling systems to make them explode.
Harry shook his head but didn't bother to give whoever stole from them pity. If the gods were merciful on them, those guys wouldn't upload the stolen data directly into their company servers and would use disconnected systems to check on the data first.
Classes for the new Semester would start soon. Harry would have another Foundations of Metaphysics class and then in the fall Semester he'd teach Advanced Metaphysics to the students who passed in either of the first two semesters of Foundations of Metaphysics with a B or higher since those who passed the first Semester were not enough to make a class for Advanced Metaphysics. It wasn't that Harry taught them poorly. It was just that the subject was ridiculously advanced and those students who didn't get it only got a C. Only one student actually failed but Harry found out from him he was just having family issues so it wasn't because of Harry's class. He would have taken it a bit personally if he were the reason someone failed.
However before the start of the new semester, something big came up. It all started with a silver dude on a surfboard landing on the roof of the Baxter building.
*Author's Note*
So, if it wasn't obvious at this point, I had Jean leave because I couldn't have her go Phoenix Force and shoo Galactus away. Not exactly suspenseful. Now the best they could do would be to send her a message to use her PortKey to return but the message would take days to reach her and be too late by then so they're on their own. Galactus can't really be killed by anything below the Celestial level and even then, it would take multiple Celestials to do it.
Now there were a lot of questions from the last chapter but only two were important enough to matter. Why didn't Harry kill the Mole Man? A few reasons. The main one is that the Mole Man was the leader of an enemy country and killing him meant making the entire country his enemy. Harry figured that would cause more trouble than the Mole Man himself.
The next question was, Is Holey Moley Bojutsu an actual thing? No idea, but I found it on a few of Mole Man's fandom pages and it looked hilarious.
Another thing I want to point out is that I didn't make up Mole Man's tech. He actually does have a staff which is made from Deviant Technology which uses Zero Point Energy to make a target's center of gravity heavier. Yes, it sounds stupid, but that one I didn't make up! Also for those who gave a hard cringe on the of Mole Man's dialogue, I took a lot of it directly from the comics so that was all him.
Anyways, for those who want an idea of how to fight Galactus, feel free to look up how the Fantastic Four did it in the original comic. Though I might change a few things.
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