บท 4: Good Heavens, The Saintess Is A Thief
บรรณาธิการ: EndlessFantasy Translation
What should he do?
Lin Fan shook his head after pondering on it for a bit. "Well, there's no helping it since this is my body now, and this is a natural body process."
"Ahem…"
While the reasoning was flawless, Lin Fan still felt very embarrassed.
After all, he had never once held a girl's hand.
And now… not to mention that it's a saintess of such nobility and beauty.
Ahem.
"Aren't immortal bodies supposed to produce no waste? And there's not a single bucket anyway. Don't they use those in olden times?"
"Can't help it then. I would just have to resort to that flower pot."
He certainly was not aware that the things he had eaten could have been converted to Spirit Qi if he knew cultivation, which was why his body was producing waste instead.
Rustle…
"Why is this gown so bothersome?"
"How am I supposed to take it off?"
After fumbling around for a while and basically stripping himself naked, he finally relieved himself, after of which he became engrossed in thought again.
He therefore did not notice that the plant he peed on was shaking slightly.
He was certainly even less aware that the handyman disciple who came to fix the doors was having a chat with a senior disciple.
"Brother, I'll let you in on a secret. You mustn't tell anyone else, or my head will roll!"
"Don't worry. Why are you worried about me? My lips are perfectly sealed."
"Alright then… just now, I fixed the doors of the Saintess Chamber."
"Huh? The saintess? You fixed her doors?"
"Isn't it just? I sneaked a peek, and her visage was as cold as ice… I'm just afraid that she failed in her ascension and broke the doors in a fit of rage."
"Is that true?!"
"It's definitely true. That said, brother, don't tell anyone else!"
"But of course…"
But when the junior handyman disciple left, the senior disciple sought out his senior in the blink of an eye.
"Did you know, brother? I heard that the saintess failed in her secluded attempt at ascension and flipped out, broke her chamber doors as ice froze all over her face… Don't tell anyone else."
"What?!"
That other disciple then went on to seek out his bestie. "Oh my goodness, I heard that the saintess failed in her ascension. Not only did her whole body become frozen, her personality also changed dramatically!"
Hence, the gossip spread like wildfire.
After all, repeated rumors would become a fact.
Soon, word of it spread beyond the gates of the Violet Manor, becoming more ridiculous the more it spreads.
Of course, Lin Fan knew nothing about any of it.
***
Meanwhile, over at the streets of C City.
Qi Zixiao was still walking along in Lin Fan's body when she shuddered at an abnormal, unbearable sensation.
In fact, she had been feeling it for some time but had been enduring it. Even so, she could not control it now.
"Mortal bodies are really troublesome…"
She was almost falling apart!
Still, she was inwardly alert despite the weirded-out look on her face.
"At first, I assumed that my mind had reached the realm of perfect serenity. Now, it seems that I am still lacking."
"It is only common sense that humans need toilet breaks. Why should I resist it?"
"Could it be that all this happened because I did not improve an inch after a month of seclusion, and almost went astray when I tried to force my ascension?"
Over time, Qi Zixiao had her hunches.
She had kept herself locked in her chambers but did not improve one bit for a whole month. Feeling the pressure considering that it was just a year left before she fought for the First Rank, she tried to force an ascension.
However, her qi and blood ended up backflowing, and she almost lost her mind.
She fainted after she suppressed the backflow with much difficulty, and when she woke up, she was here… in this man's body.
Transmigration?
To Qi Zixiao, the term 'walk-in' was more fitting.
From her perspective, she had walked-into this man's body, although she was not sure about the actual process involved.
But now was the time for this.
She quickly found a spot where no else was looking, and resolved her full bladder problem.
The actual process, however…
Even though Qi Zixiao tried to compose herself endlessly, she could not help blushing in embarrassment…
Fortunately, it would be over soon.
However, when Qi Zixiao turned, feeling refreshed, she found a middle-aged woman staring at herself.
Realizing that she saw her, the woman lifted her chin at her, wheeled around and stormed off, leaving the word…
"Scoundrel!"
Qi Zixiao: "…"
Hence, she left, but was aimless as ever—she knew too little of this world.
Everything was too unfamiliar, be it the cars darting past, the little boxes other people were holding, or the various objects in the shops.
And then there was the downpour raging overnight.
As unbearable hunger slowly assaulted her, Qi Zixiao had to helplessly accept reality.
Mortals never fasted, and naturally needed to eat.
Even immortals could not fully abstain before they reached the level
Therein lies the problem.
She had searched this man's body and there were no spirit stones or the gold that mortals used.
So, did that not mean a noble saintess like her had to steal to eat?
Meanwhile, the hunger became ever stronger and unbearable.
'There is no other choice,' Qi Zixiao told herself.
"Fortunately, no one knows that I'm the saintess of the Violet Manor right now… there shouldn't be a problem even if I steal, perhaps?"
Work?
No way, not on her life.
For Qi Zixiao, who lived a life of cultivation since she was a child and basically never left the Violet Manor… what did work even mean? And her master often told her that this world was unforgiving…
Which was why stealing some food made sense and was perfectly normal, right?
She could not help stroking her belly in thought.
But what should she steal?!
She did see many people eating, but she had never seen those food before, not to mention that there was no Spirit Qi at all…
"Still, I'm focusing too much on appearances."
She suddenly shook her head, smiling. "Why should I obsess so much over it, since it only fills the stomach, and there is no Spirit Qi everywhere anyway?
"Well… let's have that."
She stared at the steamed bun shop ahead.
There was a queue, and an alluring aroma was wafting toward her.
Those two points alone proved that the unknown food would probably taste good.
So, she queued up.
It was finally her turn after a while, and the boss lady asked her with a smile, "What are you having, handsome?"
Qi Zixiao opened her mouth, but soon decided to say nothing. Steeling herself, she promptly picked up one of the bamboo steamers, turned, and ran!
Her sheer speed left everyone dumbstruck.
The boss lady: "???"
The other queueing guests: "???"
"Damn it, thief!!!"
When they finally reacted in an uproar, Qi Zixiao was already gone.
Soon, she was hugging the steamer-full of buns and panting in a corner, and it was not difficult to tell from her eyes that she was rather excited.
After all… that was the first time she had resorted to thievery.
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