บท 11: Life's Tough but it's Tougher if You're Stupid
The Duck Piercing Gentleman collected himself from the floor and cleaned up the best he could. The others decided to ignore him. "Great Heroes, I believe we should read the instructions before attempting anything," Xan reminded those present. With that, everyone began to read the instructions but they looked a little confused.
"Silent Auction, what is this?" the blue and white mage woman asked. "It's a kind of auction I've come across in other countries where people bid on something based on what they think the value is. The trick is to give the highest bid of others present while keeping the bid under the actual value of the item if possible," Xan said.
"Why not just have an open auction," The assassin asked. "In some cases, it offers an element of fun to the auction. In other cases, the pressure of wanting something but not knowing what others will offer for it can cause people to overbid the actual value and pay more for what it's worth. This is beneficial for the seller," Xan explained.
"It's also possible to take advantage of the seller if we agree to not fight each other for these objects. We could come to an agreement beforehand and give very low bids. Then we would be able to get these items for a steal," the beast tamer said.
"If you think things are that easy then give it a try," someone spoke. Although everyone looked around, no one could tell where the voice was coming from. Finally, a spirit materialized before them. It was the old ghost Xan contacted earlier.
"Who are you," the beast tamer asked warily. "I am the artifact spirit of the Superior Crafting Guild. Everything within the guild is under my control," he responded. The attitude of the eleven elders was intimidated by the spirit.
"Sir, you have additional rules to explain to us?" Xan asked. Normally, Xan wouldn't have a place to speak among so many seniors. The seniors were currently cowed before the mighty artifact spirit and didn't want to be the person to risk its fury. After all, they were all clear of their purpose for being there, it was to loot the place. They were also pretty sure the artifact spirit knew this as well. Xan stepping forward to speak up for them made them feel very grateful to the young man. Whether he understood the benefit he provided them, or spoke thoughtlessly, they were all very grateful.
"It isn't so much that I have more rules. It is possible for everyone to proceed as this one has suggested," he said as he pointed towards the beast tamer. "However, this would be insulting to the artifacts, and such behavior would mean those gathering here are not worthy of acquiring the artifacts of my guild. This is where your "looting" will end if you did such a thing," he said.
"Great artifact spirit, please understand, it's not that we are here to loot. The Superior Crafting Guild has long been an organization holding deep mystery for all of the sects and guilds in the surroundings. In the battle just now, I observed the outnumbered members of the Superior Crafting Guild nearly wipe out the entirety of their enemies. It was a war of mutual destruction and I found it shocking because the enemy's numbers were so vast.
Anyone would be curious about the mysteries of the guild, and yes it might be possible to pick up a few treasures here and there but the main point is to know more about such a peerless guild," Xan finished his speech. No one was sure how the artifact spirit would take his words but they were happy the spirit was focusing on him and not them.
"Boy, your words make some sense but don't tell me you all came here not to loot but to unravel mysteries. I'm not a fool. I might only be an artifact spirit buy I have been alive long enough to know how the world works. The fall of any sect or guild will immediately lead to the vultures descending to eat whatever flesh they can find," the spirit argued. Xan didn't respond but merely smiled and shrugged his shoulders.
"I hope the senior spirit will give us a chance to live," Xan finally said. The artifact spirit snorted derisively but continued to speak. "I will not make things too difficult on all of you. So long as I exist, no one can take anything from the guild unless I allow it, that includes their lives," The spirit let his words hang in the air for a few moments before continuing.
"I don't believe all hope is lost for my guild. There are members of the guild out in the world and I understand that it is possible to rebuild the guild if the other eleven great powers are willing. Therefore, instead of taking righteous justice for my guild. I am willing to take a step back. I will allow each of you to win a few treasures but it won't be for free. I certainly won't give you all of the treasures here. However, you will all have an opportunity to do good for your sects and guilds as well for yourselves," He said.
"What does Master Spirit suggest," Xan continued as the mediator. Let's not worry about all of the details for now. Right now, I would like to begin the silent auction. "You should all appreciate my kindness and the mercy of my guild. Later, after the silent auction, you'll learn of other ways to earn treasures.
The expressions on everyone's faces brightened up immediately. Not only were they not going to be destroyed by this artifact spirit, they even had a chance to gain some of the treasures, maybe even for free. Each of the people began to think about the situation and the opportunities.
The female mage with the fiery robes spoke up. "Noble Spirit, your graciousness has humbled us. I can promise you that my mage guild will offer its protection to any returning guild members. Not only that, but we will also be sure to carefully bury the honored apprentices and masters who have passed away due to the war with the King's Crafting Guild. As for the bodies of the enemies, we'll cast them into the forest and do a good deed for the beasts by letting them have a good meal. May all the enemies of the Superior Crafting Guild become the feces of beasts," She said.
The artifact spirit was a little surprised but pleased by her comments. A great deal of his anger dissipated. "Very good, such business partners are worth having," it said. Hearing the words of the artifact spirit everyone else quickly said similar words and made promises.
"Master spirit, you mentioned we have an opportunity to receive one of the items for free in this room?" the beast tamer asked. Now that they reached an agreement with the artifact spirit, the beast tamer felt confident about taking over the role of the main negotiator once more. Xan's speaking helped them, but they couldn't allow the boy to continue speaking for them otherwise what face would they have?
"It's not so much an opportunity for all of you, it's just one of these artifacts was already paid for. We received a commission to make that sword many years ago but the person who ordered it never returned. He paid upfront for the sword and we have always waited for his return. Even to this day, the customer never came to receive his sword. I finally decided to put it up for auction because it had been so long. Who would have known a person of his sect would show up today," the spirit said.
Everyone was stunned, who could have commissioned the sword and even paid for it? The artifact spirit looked toward the Duck Piercing Gentleman and motioned him forward. "At last a member of the Immortal Duck Piercing Heavens Sect has appeared before me," the artifact spirit said. Just as the Duck Piercing Gentleman was about to object, an emblem above of the sword appeared and it was the same as his emblem.
"Not only will I give this sword to you, but I will also provide you with the heroic armored garments and accessories your senior ordered. Please come forward to receive your items," At first, the Duck Piercing Gentlemen wanted to correct the artifact spirit, but when he heard about all the items he would receive; his greed won over his pride.
"I am humbled to receive these items, and on behalf of the Immortal Duck Piercing Heavens Sect, I give my thanks to the honesty of master spirit and the Superior Crafting Guild.
The Duck Piercing Gentleman received his items and disappeared into a changing room the spirit provided for him. Not long after he appeared once more now wearing the armored suit. What greeted everyone was an astonishingly foppish outfit of ridiculous proportions. The outfit was in the style of an eighteenth-century Macaroni suit.
The overcoat was a delicate pink cadillac with vermillion-trimmed collar and gold buttons and tassels. A particularly delicate oversized white silk bow fit around his neck. The shirt and the pants were a reverse color of the coat with the primary color being vermillion covered in small pink cadillac dots. The pants only went to the knee and on each side at the bottom of the pants was a gold bow. Pink Cadillac stockings with dainty vermillion shoes with brass buckles made up the rest of the armor for the body. The magnificent sword hung down from his waist by a delicate gold chain in a pink scabbard at the end of the pommel a gold tassel was attached. He carried under his arm a red walking stick nearly two meters long with a gold spear tip and gold and red tassel.
The most shocking part of his outfit wasn't the things he wore on his body. Instead, it was what sat on top of his head that really shocked everyone present. A huge pink wig as big as half his body sat on the top of his head. the wig was pulled together in the back in multiple wraps as thick as a bear's waist tied together with an interlacing black hair tie. On each side of his head were large egg-shaped curls. Dangling from each side of his head were golden duck feet cheekpieces. The duck feet looked like they were gripping his face.
At the very top of the wig was an extremely tiny duck head with a long neck. The overall image gave the impression of some unfortunate mother duck birthing a human face shaped duck egg while surrounded by other potential ducklings. Even the face of the old man was done up with white powder, pink lips, red eye shadow, and black painted eyebrows.
This image was made worse when the Duck Piercing Gentleman demonstrated the hidden effect of the wig helmet. It was possible to activate a flight mechanism where wings sprang out of the wig helmet or wigelmet and started flapping manicly. Now, it looked like the duck mother was frantically trying to flee while giving birth to an ugly man faced egg.
The whole thing was shocking. Xan didn't know how the old spirit was able to so closely match the description of an outfit he to him. However, it certainly exceeded his expectations. Even he was shocked. It was as if all these things had really just been laying around in the guild all these years.
Instead of seeming embarrassed, the Duck Piercing Gentleman seemed rather pleased. "At last, I have seen the long-abandoned masterpiece being worn by a worthy inheritor," the spirit sighed. These words pleased the Duck Piercing Gentleman very much as his face glowed with splendor. "What is your name, young man, so I can match it with this peerlessly created war suit," the old spirit asked. "I am known by many names, Master Spirit, but those who know me best know me as The Duck Piercing Gentleman," he said with a broad dashing smile.
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