บท 25: Dear Fathers
Cassie briefly considered letting Snape get some rest that night, as he seemed so emotionally drained from discussing bits and pieces of his childhood with her. It had taken a lot of coaxing for him to finally start opening up, and from the little that he had shared, the house had transformed into such a different place to her. She now knew what rooms his mother had been slapped around in, or that Tobias had oftentimes used the den as his personal recovery room after coming home from a binge.
However, as the sun started to set, her mind was still racing with overwrought thoughts of the small children down the street, and the blonde woman with the bruised face that was having to deal with whatever her spouse was doing. Cassie knew she would be incapable of leaving it alone, even if it was just for the night.
They were sitting in bed together, Snape silent with his hands in his lap, staring off into nothing. "Severus," Cassie said gently, and it took a few moments for him to look at her, as he had to first pull away from whatever distant memory he had been reliving. But before she could continue with what she was about to say, he spoke first.
"We must intervene," he murmured. Whatever unpleasant flashback he had recalled just then, it must have been enough to sway him. Cassie felt instantly relieved at his statement, finally starting to feel like they were on the same page.
"Yes," Cassie agreed, "And I'd feel much better about it if we deal with it tonight. I'd hate myself if it escalated, if something happened and we did nothing."
"What do you suggest?" Snape asked softly. There was no malice in his voice, no disagreement. This was as fragile as Cassie had ever seen him, as though he was seeking her guidance. It was a complete role reversal for the couple.
"If you're leaving it up to me," Cassie started to say, and she was already getting up from the bed, ready to get the show on the road, as she had Todd in her mind right then, "Then we're just going to go there. Now."
Apparently, even in his delicate mental state, the Head of Slytherin wasn't convinced that this was the appropriate plan of action. Something tenacious in him seemed to switch on suddenly, and the change was evident as he spoke to her. "So we break into their house. Then what?"
Cassie had noticed his shift in demeanor, readying herself for yet another argument, but she wasn't about to back down. "I don't have an exact plan. Pummel him? Curse him? As long as we scare the literal shit out of him, I don't really give a flying fuck."
"No."
"No?" she responded, swiftly growing agitated. "I thought you wanted to help them, Severus!"
"We might succeed in scaring him temporarily, and then he will be agitated. Pissing him off won't help them in the long run," he said lowly. "All it will do is give him another reason to take his anger out on Andrea."
"Okay," Cassie said slowly, "Then what do you suggest?"
"While I agree with you that the situation must be dealt with tonight, I don't think that barging in and intimidating Benjamin is necessarily the answer," Snape replied. "I'd like to talk to Andrea and offer her the chance to take the children and leave, before taking more extreme measures."
"And what if he's there?" Cassie asked.
"If he's home, we'll stun him," Snape said bluntly, "Although I'd be surprised if he's not down at the pub again."
They had a plan. It was a messy one, but Cassie couldn't care less. Her stomach was in knots, and she grew more anxious with every passing minute, knowing that the kids were in that house, with a banged up, vulnerable mother to protect them. As they walked down the street towards the home that contained Todd and Mary, Cassie listened for any sounds of a struggle, hoping with every fiber of her being that she wouldn't hear any shouting or cries for help. If their father was in the midst of doing anything right then, she might lose control, and Snape, who had so recently reminisced on his boyhood agony, was at risk for becoming enraged and doing something he might not normally condone, as well.
Snape bounded up the stairs ahead of Cassie, going to pound on the door, not bothering to remain courteous and knock cordially. It satisfied Cassie, to know that he was all in now, that he was willing to do what needed to be done. Those kids needed them.
It took several minutes, and a few more ardent knocks, before Andrea tentatively opened the door a crack, just enough for a blackened eye to peer through at them. "Oh," she said, sounding understandably surprised at their sudden appearance that late in the evening, "I wasn't expecting you two."
"I suppose not," Snape said evenly. "Andrea, is Benjamin home?"
"No, he's at the Cuckworth," she said feebly.
"I must insist that you let us in, so we can speak with you," he said then, and before Andrea even had the chance to ponder his request, he pushed the door open wider, walking through with an air of certainty, a disposition that the blonde was clearly not able to contend with. Cassie followed, shooting the woman an apologetic look as she passed her.
"Are the kids home?" Cassie asked softly.
"Upstairs in bed," she replied, sounding very much like she didn't want to tell them, but was not used to standing up for herself. "Is something wrong?"
Snape took the lead, hoping that the rapport he had with her would make her cooperate. Yet it was certainly awkward, requesting that Andrea sit down at the dining room table in her own home, before frankly bringing up the fact that she had been battered, that they had noticed right away. She tried to deny it for about two seconds, before Cassie cut in.
"We're here to help," she said, "and we'd like to skip wasting time over the bullshit, if that's all right. You didn't trip and fall, you're not clumsy. Your husband's fist connected with your face."
"Cassie," Snape warned sharply, and what color had been in Andrea's face was draining out of if rapidly.
"No, Severus," Cassie said, not letting her eyes leave the woman as she spoke. "She has a responsibility to those two little lives upstairs, to own up to what's going on. Before it gets worse."
"It's not my fault," Andrea whispered then, looking quite shaken that she was being accosted so brazenly.
"No, it's not," Cassie replied. "But now you have to do something about it."
The woman inhaled shakily, closing her eyes, and tears started to fall down her face. Even in her sorrow, she remained immensely beautiful, like a fallen angel. It was heartbreaking to Cassie, to see someone in so much pain, when she knew she could solve everything quite simply. Never mind if it might also mean brutally. "Benjamin tends to fly off the handle after he's been drinking. Throw things, push me around. This time was just worse. He said it wouldn't happen again."
"And yet he's at the pub again," Snape pointed out quietly. "Is your plan to wait for it to get worse and worse until he puts you in the hospital? Or goes after Todd or Mary?"
"He'd never hurt the kids, I only took them to Miss Thompson so he wouldn't be disturbed when he went to sleep..." Andrea said, but her voice remained quavering, like she didn't believe it herself. "He was irritated last night when he called to check in after his shift, something about a rowdy customer. Stayed after for a few drinks, and when he came home, he was smashed..."
"Never mind what happened at work," Snape interjected. "If he's drinking now, then you and the children can't be here when he gets home tonight."
"Where will we go?" Andrea asked, her emerald eyes shining with tears as she looked at him.
"You'll stay with us," he said firmly. "You know we have an extra room. Tomorrow, we can make a more concrete plan to get you three to your mother's in Chelmsford."
"Oh, I can't just leave him - " the woman started, sounding alarmed, but Snape was looking increasingly unsettled as the conversation went on. Cassie wondered if he was imaging Eileen sitting across the table from him now, trying to convince her to do right by him and leave his abusive father.
"You will," he uttered silkily, "Or will you remain in our home until I can get social services involved. You will not go back to this bastard." His voice was unwavering, dangerous. Cassie knew the two of them had a friendship, but she wasn't sure if Andrea knew him well enough to know that his demeanor now meant there was no contending with him.
Andrea stared at him, looking quite fearful now, and Cassie was the first to break the silence. "Let's go pack up the kids," she said lightly, standing up and placing a hand on the blonde's shoulder. The two women went upstairs to do just that, leaving Snape downstairs to intercept if an inebriated Benjamin came home while they were trying to make their escape.
"Why is Severus so angry with me?" Andrea asked quietly, as she was folding some of Todd's clothing and putting it into a bag. "I've never seen him like this."
"He's not angry with you," Cassie replied. "He's just got his own baggage to sort through, is all."
Benjamin didn't make it home while they were all still as the house. Luckily, the kids were still rather sleepy as they made their way down the street, and Mary remained dreaming in her mother's arms, while Todd chatted away drowsily while Snape carried him. Even in the dire situation they were in, Cassie couldn't help but feel a bit mushy as she watched her beloved with the small boy in his grasp, responding to whatever jabber the child was spouting with utmost patience. For the first time that night, Snape looked peaceful.
It took about an hour to get the kids settled into the guest bed, once they realized they were in this exciting new place to have a sleepover. Once Andrea was satisfied that they were both resting comfortably, the three adults headed downstairs to the drawing room. Andrea seemed less demoralized now, and Cassie was growing hopeful that the woman was more agreeable to going to her mother's, that she would ultimately stay away from her obloquious spouse.
"There is some good in him, you know," Andrea was saying quietly as the three of them sat together, and in that statement, Cassie's hopes were dashed.
"But will that 'good' keep you safe when he's hitting you?" Cassie countered immediately. Andrea shook her head, and Cassie knew she had started to cry again. Snape had taken to watching the woman attentively, although she thought his mind might be drifting to his past again.
Andrea sniffed, and then apparently not wanting to answer Cassie's question, she said, "You two seem right for each other." She forced a small smile, and then winced, as it must have pulled on her injured lip.
"Thank you," Cassie replied. "We are." Snape looked over at her, like he was noticing for the first time that she was in the room with him, having been so wrapped up in his thoughts. He placed an arm around her shoulders, giving her a small squeeze.
"Have you known one another long?" Andrea asked.
"We've been friends my whole life," Cassie answered her.
"Oh," Andrea said softly. "Must be wonderful, to have that foundation. You're lucky. Benjamin and I, we've been married ten years now. Didn't date long before we got engaged. My mother didn't ever really approve of him."
"Will she be willing to have you three?" Snape asked.
"I think so," Andrea said. "Actually, she'll probably be thrilled that I'm leaving." Their conversation was interrupted, when a sudden banging started on the front door, followed by some incoherent yelling. Andrea nearly fell out of her chair.
Cassie and Snape exchanged a glance before he stood, and he went up the stairs two at a time, going to place charms to buffer the raucous noises from the children. Cassie, on the other hand, started towards the entryway.
"It's Benjamin," Andrea whimpered, her hands going to her mouth. "Oh, he's going to be so upset! I'd hoped he would just go to bed once he got home!"
"It will be all right, Andrea," Cassie said. Her wand was in her pocket, and she stretched her fingers on her right hand a few times, forcing herself to keep from pulling it out. "You're safe, Todd and Mary are safe."
As she got closer to the front door, she could make out the words that were coming from the drunk man's mouth. "Andi! Where are my kids, ya stupid cunt?" Cassie heard the blonde behind her start to cry.
"Go back to the sitting room," Cassie told her.
"No, it's my mess," Andrea said through her sobs. "I should talk to him!"
"I can handle him," Cassie tried to reassure her, but then Snape entered the room, having finished checking on Todd and Mary.
"Neither one of you are dealing with him," he growled, pushing past both of them.
Benjamin was shouting again, demanding that the door be opened while continuing to whack at the door, and Snape obliged. Cassie and Andrea remained in the entryway behind him, Cassie ready to back him up if needed, Andrea frozen in her guilt and not knowing what to do to help.
"Mr. Webb," Snape said sharply as soon as the door was open, "I must insist that you stop your incessant shouting at once. You're disturbing the entire neighborhood."
"Steven, you manky tosser," Benjamin slurred, "You got my family in there, don't ya?"
"They are here, yes," Snape replied, "And they will remain here for the night. You, on the other hand, will head home."
"Or what?" he said, wavering on his feet. But Cassie, who had a supportive arm wrapped around Andrea's shoulders, suddenly removed herself from the blonde woman, and walked towards the door, pushing past Snape. When she brushed his shoulder, he looked down at her in confusion.
"Cassie, stay in there!" he demanded. But now the drunken man on their front step took notice of her as she came into his view, and the beady brown eyes on his thin face widened as he recognized her.
"Bitch," he hissed then, and all bets were off. Just the sight of her must have sent him into a rage, and he tried to lunge at her, although he was rather uncoordinated in his state. Cassie easily side stepped out of his way, and he smashed face first into the brick wall in front of him. When he straightened back out, he turned to go after her again, but now Snape was on him. He used his forearm to slam the man's lanky form backwards, pinning him up against the house, and he looked absolutely murderous.
"Stop," Snape seethed, "Now."
"This trollop kicked me in the balls!" Benjamin hollered. "What you doing, keepin' two sluts in there with ya! I ought to beat your ass!"
"Ben, please, you need to calm down," Andrea sobbed from the doorway. It was dramatic scene, and Cassie noticed that Miss Thompson, and two other neighbors were now standing outside and watching everything unfold.
"I won't, until you get me my kids!" he yelled back. "Do it, or I'll kill ya, Andi!"
Snape seemed surprisingly detached for a few moments, as he held the belligerent Muggle in place, and Cassie kept her eyes trained on the two men, ready to intervene, to help, to do something. She didn't know if he was about to snap, or let the man go, or he was going to throw a punch, but for once she knew what it was like to not know if he was about to lose control, if she would have to mediate, if she would be able to stop it in time. There were too many witnesses, if Snape suddenly cursed this wicked man.
"Severus," she said quietly, as Benjamin continued to yell, and Andrea continued to cry. He didn't look at her, his black eyes still glaring at Benjamin, but he was listening to her.
"Get Andrea inside," he told her, and Cassie did just that, guiding Andrea by the shoulders, pulling her into the sitting room. She told her to stay put, and the woman looked like she was going to listen, so Cassie made to go back outside to help Snape. She was surprised to see that he had started to yank the drunk man into the entryway now, tugging him by the collar of his shirt.
"Severus, what are you doing?" Cassie asked, closing the front door with a flick of her wrist, keeping whatever was about to happen next away from the prying eyes of the neighbors. He didn't respond, being rather preoccupied with pinning Benjamin up against the wall again, and now, he was using his free hand to pull his wand from his pocket. Cassie looked to make sure that Andrea was still out of sight.
"Get that stick out of my face, freak!" Benjamin garbled. He reached up to try to grab the wand that was now inches from him, and Cassie snapped her wrist. The man grunted as his arms were pulled down involuntarily, as if the wall had sucked them backwards, and he was suddenly able to struggle a lot less.
Snape gave her a chiding side glance, but she shrugged. "What, you're the one with your wand out," she whispered.
They were breaking so many wizarding laws, doing this to a Muggle. But both Snape and Cassie were past the point of no return, their emotions having gotten the better of them. Cassie felt incredibly calm as Snape kept his wand trained on the man's face, and softly muttered, "Legilimens!"
Snape was in Benjamin's mind for only a few minutes. When he was done, and a rather exhausted Benjamin remained pinned and panting against the wall, the look on Snape's face was even more savage than before. He left the man to go into the sitting room, Cassie following close behind.
"Lift up your shirt," Snape said to Andrea, and the woman sprang up, looking alarmed.
"Severus, what - " Andrea started. Cassie jumped in, knowing that Snape was going to do it without a second's hesitation, and stepped forward to do it in his place. She didn't know what he was looking for, but assumed it would be far less traumatic if she pulled on the woman's clothing, rather than an angry Snape. Cassie gasped when she saw that the woman's torso was covered in contusions, her skin an array of colors from various stages of healing.
"This has been going on for some time," Snape growled lowly, "Last night was just the first time he lost control enough to beat you where it was visible."
"I - he has a temper, but not always - " Andrea sputtered.
"He tried to attack Cassie last night," he continued, his words relentless even though the woman before him was trembling. "He's a predator. But you've known that, haven't you? And yet you stay with him, keep your children around him?"
"Severus, that's enough," Cassie said quietly. Andrea was at a complete loss now, she could tell. She was just glad that he was continuing to keep his voice level, but it was only for Todd and Mary's sake, she knew. "Andrea, go upstairs and go to bed, okay?"
Andrea didn't wait to be told twice. She went to the second floor in a mess of tears, and only when she heard the guest door close, did Cassie speak. "That was a bit ruthless, Severus."
"It needed to be," he replied, still staring up the stairs after the blonde. "I'm not convinced that she'll ever stay away from him, not permanently."
"What did you see?" she asked him. He didn't answer her right away, instead walking back to the entryway, where drunk Benjamin, while still magically bound to the wall, had fallen asleep. They both watched him for a few moments, before Snape answered her.
"Our plan is not enough," he said. "The man is deplorable."
So they came up with a new plan, and it involved walking Benjamin back to his empty house. Fortunately, enough time had passed that the neighbors had lost interest and were back in their own homes, so no one saw the three of them walking arm in arm, to ensure that Benjamin wouldn't try to go anywhere else, or try to swing at one of them. Of course, he was slinging curse words as soon as he had woken up, and had even managed to spit at Cassie. She solved that problem with a wandless, non-verbal Langlock jinx, aggravating the man even further.
They had a brief discussion about which one of them would perform the memory removal spell. Snape was more than willing to do it, as he had taken charge of the night's events up to this point. But Cassie pointed out that they were a team, that they were in this together. He had already performed Legilimency on the unwilling man, and he would have to live with that fact. Now it was her turn to bear the burden.
Benjamin was restrained magically again, this time, attached to his sitting room floor. As Cassie approached him with her wand, she felt calm, and yet there was a touch of grief running through her, but not for the man that was about to lose everything that made him who he was. Rather, she felt she was understanding that this was the beginning of many arduous, ambiguous decisions for her, and in some ways, she was mourning some loss of innocence in this act. This wasn't some knee jerk act of defense, some life or death situation where she had to react in seconds. This was calculated, deliberate.
Snape seemed to sense this inner turmoil, because he said, "Cassie, I can do it."
"No," she replied softly, her eyes fixed on the Muggle that was struggling against his magical binds, staring at her with fear in his eyes, "I need to." She went to her knees beside the man, and he tried to speak, even though his tongue was still glued to the roof of his mouth. In one last kind act, Cassie released the jinx, although it was more out of curiosity than anything.
"My twig and berries," he chuffed, "You voodooed them somehow, didn't you?"
No pleading for mercy, no asking why they were doing this. Cassie almost laughed. "Yes, that was me, Benjamin."
"You fucking bitch! You better hope to Christ I don't find you after this, 'cause I'll make you squeal like a stuck pig, and then I'll - "
"That's quite enough," Snape hissed, having cast another Langlock jinx. He looked rather disgusted, leaving Cassie to wonder yet again what he had seen when he had been in the man's mind.
"Obliviate," Cassie uttered with a graceful wave of her wand, and she watched the lights seem to leave the man's eyes. It was an easy spell to cast, as she didn't need to gauge what, or how many memories to remove. They were starting him fresh. As far as he was going to know, he didn't have a wife or children, and Cokeworth was nothing but a town he was passing through.
It was very odd to see that Benjamin, with his memories completely erased, acted almost like an elated child. He asked endless questions about the house, who it belonged to, if they were his brother and sister. While they made up ridiculous answers, they encouraged him to drink more alcohol so he was past the point of tanked, and then they released him onto the street, making sure he was stumbling his way downtown. Once they knew he was far away from the residential area, they made an anonymous phone call to the police, informing them that a man was disturbing people in the area and that they felt unsafe. Because who could know if blank slate Benjamin could be just as dangerous as normal Benjamin, if those impulses were hard wired into him even if his memories were gone.
In the morning, Snape told Andrea that they had gotten Benjamin home and into bed the night before. That's all they could ever safely tell her, and they still encouraged her to contact her mother, to go to Chelmsford with the children. Cassie hoped that Benjamin, without being able to tell anyone who he was, would somehow just get lost in the system, and Andrea would never have to see him again. Of course, she knew it was unlikely, and the best they could hope for was that he would be institutionalized somewhere, still be locked away where he could do no harm. Only time would tell.
It was two days later when they knew that Andrea and the kids were settled in at her mother's home, because she had called to inform them, and little Todd even insisted on talking to Snape on the phone to tell him all about the pond nearby that had lots of ducks to feed. Peace had resumed in the house, and Cassie felt like she could breathe again. But even though she and her lover were proceeding with their domestic routine again, there were burdens on her mind, questions she wanted answered. Initially, she left it alone, knowing he likely didn't want to talk about it, knowing it might cause a ripple effect. She wanted nothing more than to just enjoy the time they had left of their holiday.
"Severus?" she asked one evening when they were in the sitting room, sipping wine by the fire. She was doing what she had told herself she was going to leave alone, but unable to help herself, she had opened her mouth.
"Hmm."
"What happened to your parents?"
Without missing a beat, he answered her, as if he had been waiting all this time for her to bring it up. "They're dead," he said, not even bothering to look up from the book he was reading. His eyes continued to move over the text, as if the topic wasn't even worth pausing for.
Cassie looked at him silently for a few moments, debating if she should press on. Obviously, by the way he was pretending like the whole thing was a non-issue, he was willing her to drop it. She thought about doing that for him. But she just couldn't.
"I know they are," she said gently. "But what happened?"
He sighed then, clapping the book shut in earnest, and then he looked at her with a cold examination, as if pondering her very existence. "If I had wanted you to know, I would have told you."
Cassie stopped herself from rolling her eyes, even though every cell in her body was screaming for her to do it. This wasn't her intention, to start a fight with him, even though it was swiftly heading in that direction. "You know everything about my past. I think it's only fair that I know details about yours, Sev."
"So you're entitled to every one of my secrets," he retaliated cynically.
"Not entitled," Cassie said, doing her very best not to sound like she was arguing with him, "I just think it helps our relationship grow when you tell me these things. Don't you want your connection to be stronger?"
"That sounds inherently manipulative," Snape said then, standing up. Cassie couldn't help it then, letting her eyes nearly roll towards the back of her skull.
"I'm not being manipulative!" she responded, and she sighed when he started to head upstairs, a sign that he was trying to shut the conversation down. "Don't you want to tell someone these things? Unburden yourself?"
"I don't feel the need to burden others with my difficulties," he quipped.
"You're impossible," she said then, following him to the bedroom. He should know by now, she thought to herself sardonically, that when they reached that room, she had basically cornered him.
"Good, then maybe you'll quit tormenting me," he said, and she flicked her wrist, banging the door shut. It was her way to indicate that he was going nowhere, not until she said so.
"Severus Snape," she said, crossing her arms over her chest, and he cocked an eyebrow coldly at her, "Must I remind you, yet again, that the point of having a relationship is to share the burden? To help each other, and share things, and talk about shit like this?" He didn't say anything, so she kept going. "Obviously, talking about them right now has hit a sore spot. So I think you'd feel better if we kept talking about it!"
"Feel better?" he said then, and he looked undeniably angry. "You think a lifetime of anguish and resentment is going to be solved in a little conversation? That blabbing about it to you is going to make everything go away?"
"No!" Cassie said, stepping forward into his bubble, and he flinched away from her when she reached out to grasp his shoulder. She wasn't sure he'd ever warm to her trying to touch him when they were fighting. "It's not going to make it go away! But it might lesson whatever suffering you've had all these years. Do you think I would have been able to survive this long if I didn't have you to talk to?"
He didn't respond, and feeling fed up, Cassie started to head out the door. "Fine. I'll be downstairs if you change your mind, Sev."
She poured a glass of wine for herself, still fuming as she sat on the couch to drink it. When she got up to refill it, she heard footsteps on the stairs. Without saying anything, she poured Snape a glass of wine as well. She handed it to him, and he sat down, a shrewd look on his features as he looked at her.
"My mother died," he said, his eyes cast down towards the blood red wine in his hands as he started to talk, "When I was sixteen. She was frail and sickly, for as long as I can remember. I believe that her chronic illnesses, combined with the stress of being abused by Tobias finally caught up to her."
"I'm sorry," Cassie muttered softly.
"I loved my mother dearly," he responded, "But she failed me as a parent. She didn't protect me from my father while she was alive, and then she left me alone with him. I can't help but resent her to this day for it, as much as I'd like to forgive her."
"I'm not asking you to," Cassie told him. He nodded once, then took another sip from his wine glass. He was silent for several minutes before he started to speak again.
"Cassie, there's a reason why I don't like to talk about my past with you very often," he said then. "If you knew the things I've done under your father's service, I think you'd view me quite differently."
"But Severus," she said, shaking her head slightly, "You have to realize, I've seen some of those things. I was there! Don't you think I've remembered all these years, that you were a Death Eater? It doesn't matter."
"It does," he hissed lowly. "You've seen some of it, it doesn't mean that you know everything."
"I think you're underestimating how much I experienced as a child," Cassie said, "But that's beside the point. What does it have to do with your father?"
Snape emptied his wine glass into his mouth then, and then his eyes were glued onto the empty fireplace in front of them. "So you say what's happened in my past won't change the way you think about me?"
"No," she said rigidly. "I'm not naive, Severus."
He turned to look at her then, and his black eyes were filled with so much heartache, she couldn't help but reach out and grab his hand. She gave it a reassuring squeeze, but then he pried her fingers off of his, placing her hand back in her lap, not wanting to be touched just then. "When I wanted to join the Death Eaters, the Dark Lord required some sort of initiation. It was different for each individual wizard, although it usually involved some variation of torturing and killing of a Muggle. When he learned that I was a half-blood, he was especially wary of even considering me, even with all of the pureblood Slytherins vouching for my talents."
Cassie swallowed hard then, fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall. She had so much grief in her heart for him just then. "He made you kill your father," she whispered.
"Don't feel sorry for me, Cassie," he hissed quietly. "No one forced me to do it. They helped me to abduct him from his favorite pub one evening, and then my 'initiation' was completed in front the Dark Lord's inner circle. That was the night I joined them."
"Oh," she said, stopping herself from saying again that she was sorry, because she knew that the last thing he wanted was her sympathy.
"You seem shaken," he said sardonically.
"Well, that's a lot to take in, don't you think?" she asked.
"So it doesn't change your feelings of me?" he asked, and his tone was cruel, his lips curled into a sneer as he spoke. But she knew his anger was at himself, not her, even if he didn't realize it. "You aren't appalled to learn that I enjoyed it?"
"No," she responded. She didn't move from her spot next to him on the couch, even though normally, she would move away from him while he was being this callous. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction that he was looking for, to prove to himself that she somehow thought less of him.
"No?" he asked. "I don't think you're telling me the truth, girl."
"Severus, what is it that you're expecting me to say? That I'm horrified? That I hate you, all of a sudden?" she asked. "Would that satisfy your desire to prove to yourself that you're unworthy of happiness, or whatever it is that's going on with you?"
"I just don't understand how you could," he said then, and Cassie blinked at him, confused by his abrupt change in demeanor. He suddenly looked burned out.
"Could what?"
"Want me," he said then, and Cassie's hand immediately went to his cheek. He closed his eyes, turning his pale face into her touch.
"Severus," she said softly. "I will always want you. No matter what. I love you." She leaned forward, planting a small kiss on his lips. "I told you, I am well aware that you were a Death Eater. I've never forgotten that. You don't have to worry about me waking up one day and being repelled by your past."
The rest of their night was filled with tender moments, as Snape was feeling especially vulnerable. The cuddled, reminisced about earlier times in their relationship, and spoke of how difficult it was going to be when they were apart once the school term started. It had been an emotional night, and Cassie didn't regret experiencing it. But she had a particular thought once her lover had fallen asleep, one she wanted to tell him, but didn't feel was important enough to disturb his sleep for. As tragic as it was to learn that Snape had taken pleasure in torturing and murdering his father, Cassie knew she would undeniably feel the same way, if given the chance to do the same to her own.
สถานะพลังงานรายสัปดาห์
-- การจัดอันดับด้วยพลัง 
-- หินพลัง