บท 40: Would You Trust Me?
Shouko lowered her head, her brows knitted together as she tried to remember her forgotten memory. Countless things had happened within the span of five years yet nothing came to her mind.
She didn't remember even a bit!
Shouko frowned as her heart being enveloped by helplessness. Her clear eyes gradually became dull as her body felt numb. She looked at Kyoya once before she averted her eyes from his worried gaze.
Kyoya sighed inwardly as he understood what had been bothering her. He placed his palm on her head, gently running his fingers through her hair.
Shouko tilted her head, looking back at him.
"Don't push yourself to remember if you can't," His low voice rang in the quiet night as he continued rubbing her head. "You could just take it slow. Forcing yourself won't be a good move."
Shouko knew there was nothing wrong with his statement but she couldn't help but feel frustrated with herself. All of this memory loss matter created a void within her, making her suffocated at times.
"Kyoya, I don't like this," She said aggrievedly, one of her hands held the lapel of his cardigan. Her tight grip formed creases as her fingers trembled slightly.
"There is still so much I have to know yet I couldn't recall even a little. I might appear calm but actually I am afraid. I feel like... something important has been taken away from me."
"I know I have said this but I feel so bad, you know? You are the only one who remembers about us when right now, I'm still learning to know you. You have your own share of pain but now, you have to worry about me as well. No wonder you couldn't rest well. Look, you're even thinner than you appear."
Kyoya patiently listened to her voicing out her frustration even though he thought her last two sentences sounded funny. She was so exasperated it made his heart ached for her yet he was relieved to hear her venting like this.
It gave him another sense of intimacy with her.
At the beginning of their marriage, she would always keep her grievances to herself even though he had never mistreated her. It was only when their feelings for each other started blossoming did she began to pour her heart out to him. It took him a long time to make her feel secure around him.
To see her start treating him like this made him pleased because Shouko would only talk about her grievances to someone she felt close and safe with.
Except for Ono and Aunt Masako, he was the only one left.
"Shouko, would you trust me?"
"Huh?" Shouko blinked.
What with this sudden question?
Kyoya smiled, he took out something from the pocket of his cardigan. A small velvet box appeared in his hand. When he opened the lid, a bright sparkle lit in the dim as the golden light of the lamp hit the surface of the small thing.
It was a ring.
"This..."
Shouko let her eyes lingered on the heart-shaped diamond ring nestled in the cushion within the box. It was a beautiful yet simple ring, much to her preference.
Kyoya smiled faintly seeing her being entranced by the ring. He reached out for her left hand. He placed the box on her palm before he enclosed her hand around the box.
"This is your wedding ring and... this is mine," He raised up his hand, showing him the wedding ring that rarely left his ring finger since the moment he took the oath of marrying her five years ago. "When you feel like you could really trust me, I hope you'll start wearing the ring back."
"Kyoya, I..."
Shouko was startled. She looked at him before her gaze went back to the box. Little did she expect to suddenly receive something so precious tonight.
This was her wedding ring five years ago.
Kyoya gently stroked her cheek. He had been keeping this ring from the moment she was ushered inside the operation theater a month ago. A nurse gave him the ring including all of her belongings found during the accident.
The one thing that he held tightly to keep him sane during the long and torturous wait outside the operation theater was this ring.
Shouko took a deep breath. She didn't mistake the hope and longing she heard in his voice. Once she strengthened her resolve, she placed the box back in Kyoya's palm.
"Won't you put this ring on me right now?"
Her question surprised him. Kyoya stared at her, thinking that his ears were playing things before he asked quietly, "Are you sure?"
Shouko nodded. She appeared so determined as she added, "I don't want to waste any more time. I've told you before. Even though I haven't remembered you, I feel safe with you. I trust what I deem trustworthy. Instead of dwelling on the unforeseen, I want to take the next step as soon as I can."
"What if... I'm not who you think I am?" As much as he was delighted with her choice, he still couldn't help but feel uncertain and nervous.
He didn't want her clear gaze to be filled with disappointment toward him if one day, she found that she had misplaced her belief.
Shouko sighed inwardly. This man was being too careful with her. In a second, with tenderness in her voice, she said, "Then, prove to me that I am right to trust you."
Kyoya was stunned for a moment before his lips curved up into a smile. Soon, his laugh filled the quiet lounge. His entire countenance brightened listening to her words.
His little wife was still as surprised as ever.
Kyoya took out the ring from the box. The tips of his index finger and thumb cooled under the metal. He held her hand as he gently placed the ring around her ring finger.
Kyoya pushed it slowly until the ring became a perfect fit with his wife. He smiled in satisfaction seeing the ring had returned back to its owner.
"Shouko," Kyoya lifted up his eyes from the ring, his gaze settled on her smiling face. "There is still so much I want to tell you. But, I really hope you will trust me. Whatever you think of or hear of, please wait for me to clarify it to you. I don't know how to reveal everything to you but, I would surely do."
Shouko knew she should be concerned after she listened to him yet she felt like it was nothing to be worried about. As she had thought before, their marriage of five years was not only filled with joy but they had their share of sorrows too.
And, even though she had never mentioned to him it but she had a feeling that Kyoya had hidden something from her.
From the way he was affected by his nightmare, the way he disguised his fear whenever he looked at her being in pain, all of them pointing to a secret that only he knew.
Nevertheless, she would still choose to trust him.
"Alright," Shouko nodded.
Then, a thought crossed her mind.
Reminding of his mother's nature that loved causing trouble, it was safe to say that woman's words were not something she should pay attention to.
Shouko hoped she won't meet her but it was possible if the woman came seeking her first. After thinking, she added a few words, hoping to put the man's mind at ease.
Looking straight into his eyes, Shouko smiled as she said softly, "If I have any doubt, I would go to look for you first instead of blindly believing someone else. So, take your time. I believe you have a reason in everything you do."
Kyoya was once again stunned by her words. He had lost count how many times this little lady caught him in surprise. The worry that burdening his heart whenever he thought before he spoke to her about his past was actually unnecessary.
Seeing her so full of trust at him caused a wave of relief flooded within him.
Because he could only bravely take another step further if he could see her unwavering faith in him.
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