บท 30: 30. Separation from Bai family
Her words made everyone stunned while she turned to the young man and pointed at the toys. ''Uncle, I will pay full price. Do not give me a discount or such things. You need to support the family. I am glad that not all men are like some I met in my life. You are for your kids is a blessing. I hope you will know how to handle that blessing. I will go to get money. You pack the stuff. Mingyu will bring you the money.'' She then bowed slightly and turned around and walked to the carriage.
When she came closer she saw her uncle and the other cousin already on horses. ''Uncle, you are not the youngest. If you can't sit too long on the horse come to the carriage and sit with me. I won't sleep anymore anyway.''
He shook his head. ''Thank you for your offer child, but actually I love riding the horse. It's in my blood. If you are bored these two rascals can join in.''
She chuckled. ''Good. When they feel like chatting with me they can do that or we can chat through the window. May I open the window while we travel?''
He blinked at her in confusion. ''Why wouldn't you be able?''
''Well, father said females should not be seen so he forbid all females in the household to go out. That is actually the reason why I was punished. You didn't know? Wait, that is not the rule?'' She considered all the things she learned from dramas but then, on the other hand, this is another world.
''Your father is... our family's worst decision. Actually, your mother never planned to get married but our Elders pushed her and regretted the moment they found out about her death. Your grandmother became seriously ill and your Grandfather almost wanted to travel to the south and eradicate whole Kang family.'' He shook his head as he remembered the rage his father had.
''Lord Ka has punished them enough and they will be transported to capital for the great jury. But he didn't tell me what was really going on.'' Shu Ya was already in the carriage and started rummaging through her stuff looking for money. She took one bigger bag with silver and handed it over to Mingyu with a note she quickly wrote.
They saw her completely emotionless speaking about her father's family like she was not connected with them at all and coldness seeped slowly into their hearts. ''Don't you feel anything...''
But she rose her empty eyes and emotion was shown but not the one they expected. Utter coldness seeped out her eyes while sarcasm fleeted her face. ''Uncle, I hate them. Should I forgive them for how they treated my wonderful mother? How they killed her? How they tried to throw away her ashes into the forest so no one would be able to bury her properly? And in this case, I do not even consider how they treated me. That is just added on top of everything. Feeling, I do feel. Disappointment, anger, hate, devastation, fear, disgust and much more negative stuff. But I try to keep them deep, deep inside me so you wouldn't run away from me as well and leave me alone, completely alone in this world.''
He chocked hearing her world. ''Child...''
She shook her head to dry upcoming tears. ''But Uncle. If your family makes the same choice as Hong's family I will be fine as well. I would actually as Elders to sign me off the family line as well. Like that no one will expect anything from me. And no one would push me into the same hell my mother had to live trough. If you have any feelings for me, even if it is a tiny little bit, please help me get out of this damnable circle of hell. I do not wish to be controlled by anyone. Just let me be me. Let me live quietly and in comfort. Is it too much to ask.'' A single tear finally escaped and slid down her pale cheeks and dropped onto her shirt but soon vanishing.
He sighed. ''If that is your wish. I will help you. But won't you regret?''
Shu Ya smile and shook her head. ''Regret what? I regret that my amazing mother died trying to protect me. I wish I died long before and she could have just divorced him and lived just like she wanted, freely. In her name, I will do that. I need to do that. Live free...''
While she spoke Mingyu came back and nodded. ''We took care of everything miss. It will be done as you said before. The stuff is packed and we can leave now.'' But his eyes became cold as he saw the fine line of tears on her face. Even tho the tear dried up but the line was still poking in his eyes. He clenched his jaw and wanted to hit something but choose to just go back and sit on the carriage with goods with wooden expression.
Her cousin came to her and was about to ask her why is hr guard acting strangely when he saw the tear line on her face. He took a handkerchief and tried to wash it off. Soon the line was gone and he just saw red cheek as he rubbed to hard while she stared at him in astonishment. ''There was something on your face.''
''I understood that, but could you please try to be softer next time. You peeled half of my face. ''She held her red cheek while blinking at him.
He fist froze but then started laughing. ''Mischivious.''
Even Shu Ya had to smile seeing his sincere laugh. ''I am a child and I have right to be a tiny bit naughty, but what is your excuse?''
Her words were heard by her uncle and other brother and they started laughing. For a while, they teased him and made even Shu Ya smile a bit more.
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