I have willingly shared my thoughts about winter, especially for this year. However, there are some days that I enjoy during this time of year. For how uncommon they are, they are a treasure of the season.
Days of biting cold and snow are followed up by a little bit more mild weather, still bad enough that I want to avoid going outside any more than I have to. And finally, the day comes, where all the snow has melted, and with my body being used to the cold temperatures, a warm day comes around. A day that helps to banish most thoughts that winter is still here.
As today is one of those days, that I appreciate, I decided that I should go to my parents house. With setting up my own household, I have not visited them that much since I have arrived back home. And with how much I had to correct my own mistakes, I have not had the time this winter, to see them at all.
The snow, though not completely melted, remained lingering in places that were constantly in shade. Small patches of white, stood out starkly different from the muted brown and the few greens of this time of the year. The death of the previous year, before the rebirth of the next.
I did try to draw parallels between winter and myself. However, I could not make the connections work, without a lot of caveats. For each aspect that I even remotely considered, there were more exceptions that I found, which made me see that I am not in anyway connected to what I consider winter.
That is what happens when I am bored, and with nothing to do. Trying to contemplate random musings in my own mind, of which few rarely work. Philosophy is not made for one such as me.
* * *
"How are you doing?" (Father)
"I'm doing alright. What about you?" (Rehor)
"It's been a relatively easy time this year. Unlike when you were a child, we didn't have some of the struggles that used to plague us." (Father)
"What problems did you, err I mean we, used to have?" (Rehor)
"Nothing major. It was simple problems of which were not planned properly. I've been doing this for enough years now, that I have a better handle on how much of what we need, that I can stockpile properly." (Father)
"So it was not just me. I assumed that I was a complete idiot. I ran out of my wood stock, significantly earlier that I planned, or assumed." (Rehor)
"No, it is not just you that fails to prepare properly. I think everyone will have certain problems like that whenever they first start out. And you have to experience it properly by failing. It becomes nearly impossible to tell someone, just starting out, what problems will pop up." (Father)
"You should have warned me." (Rehor)
"Would you have listened?" (Father)
"Of course I… I see your point." (Rehor)
Father is correct, much to my chagrin. Even to nurse my own wounded pride, I could not lie to myself. I would have ignored his warnings, even if he told me them, and assumed that I was correct in my own plannings.
Is this a failing of humans. In my first life, no matter what I was warned against, if I had not been impacted by it, even vicariously, I would assume that I was in the right. Do humans have to experience something and their ramifications, before they are willing to listen to and take advice?
"I wish you weren't right, but I can't disagree." (Rehor)
"Ha ha ha ha. You're becoming an adult, to be able to see the sage advice of one as old as I am." (Father)
"Stop laughing at me. And you're not that old, yet. You have many years yet before you can be considered a wise old man." (Rehor)
"Ouch, you have wounded me, Rehor. I admit that I am not an old man, but to not consider me wise…" (Father)
"Daddy, wait, that is not what I mean. I should go back to the house, and see if Mommy needs any help." (Rehor)
"Don't run away from it. You consider me a dumb yokel? Isn't that what you said?" (Father)
"Please don't twist my words that way." (Rehor)
"But where is the fun, if I don't do something like that?" (Father)
"I'll see you in a little bit. I do want to spend time with the rest of the family. They won't be mean to me, like you." (Rehor)
"Your words, they cause such great wounds. Alright then, just leave your Father all by himself, to be lonely." (Father)
"I will do just that." (Rehor)
It has not been that long that Father has altered the way he speaks to me. No longer am I just his child. I think he considers me as an adult, that he can be more friendly with. He does not have to put on the facade of a parent in front of me now, he can act as his true self around me.
It is nice, in that he treats me as an adult, but I miss him treating me just as his son. It was a creature comfort of mine, when he was only my Father. It was a role that I knew how to play, and that I could effortlessly fall into. Now, I have to also treat him as something other than just a parent, he now earns the effort of treating him as, I guess I could say, a friend.
At least with him changing the way he acts, I have gained someone that I can practice social interactions with. Someone that will not judge me for any missteps, during my journey to be human again. He is someone that is willing to accept me as I am, a person that does not truly know how to be a human.
"Thank you, Father." (Rehor)
"Did you say something?" (Father)
"Nope, it was just me muttering." (Rehor)
Fun chapter to write. It was completely different from what I orginially was thinking about. Though, once I started to write how Jindrich was interacting with Rehor, I drew some commonality with how much relationship changed with my own father, when I had my own life, away from him.
Thanks for reading