บท 2: Haven’t you heard? I’m a Divine Jester PART 2
That is how we arrived at the current situation. I'm handcuffed to a pole with a fuck ton of angry people around me , with a old man, who seems to be a judge, on a podium in front of me.
The old man begins to speak.
"Sakamoto, do you admit to stealing a total of 47 VME, and evading arrest for three days straight?"
<Secret Technique: Phoenix Wright; OBJECTION!>
"I'd like to speak to a lawyer.
Some random mob character starts yelling.
"BULLSHIT! You don't deserve a lawyer! You spent 3 days running away while we had almost all the Military Police, and Garrison trying to take you down? WE EVEN HAD TO GET THE SURVEY CORPS TO SEND HELP!"
Once Mob 1 said that, Mobs 2-50 started agreeing in unison.
The Old Judge started again, "It is my understanding that you also used the VME to infiltrate multiple women's bathrooms. Is this correct?
"Wrong. You see, your honor, I was merely conducting a social experiment. The experiment about finding out the rate of people who drop their guard while on the John. Unfortunately, my experiment was cut short when I passed out due to being on the run for 3 days and not having time to drink." I nod sagely.
"So you had time to break into women's bathroom, but not enough time to pick up a small cup of water?"
"Correct." I would push up my glasses, but my hands are handcuffed to this pole.
As the judge was beginning to speak again, a rather short figure jumped out from the crowd.
As soon as that happened I got kneed straight in the head, followed by a large amount of kicks and other actions intent on dealing me pain.
'Doesn't this seem kind of fami-Ow, GOD DAMN IT, OW, DON'T HIT ME THERE YOU BASTARD!'
Yep, Levi Ackerman was beating the shit out of me even worse than he did Eren.
"You horny bastard, can't you be trusted to act like a normal human being when we're not supervising you? Useless trash, if you trained your skills half as much as you conducted your insane 'social experiments' you'd be able to destroy any titan."
Right as he finished saying that, a ton of memories appeared in my head. Displaying my 'identity' here.
It explained how I was an orphan and childhood friend of Levi Ackerman.
'Tch. How cliche.'
I entered the Trainee Corps alongside him, following him to the Survey Corps.
While we're opposites comparable to night and day, we still get along really well if you don't count the constant beatings and lectures I get.
After I finished sorting out all the memories, I pretty much understood everything. Plus I can just act how I always did in my new memories.
Levi then turned to the Judge guy.
"Let the Survey Corps handle him, and we promise to not let him out without a guardian. Don't worry, we'll handle the punishments quite well." He turned to me with a sadistic grin.
"I... think I'd prefer to be locked up here. JUDGE, I'M GUILTY!" I turned my head to the judge and tried to give him a pleading look, yet it looked frightening with my face smeared in blood.
Levi gave me a few more punches before glaring at the judge, which seemed to say 'do as I say or die.'
The Judge, with visible sweat beads all over his face, said, "Since you didn't truly injure anyone besides knocking a few people out, I suppose we can let you off the hook."
There were a few.. no, a lot, of disappointed groans from the crowd.
They all started to leave the building, and in a few minutes it was Levi, some Survey Corps members, and me left over.
Most of them were mob characters, the only noticeable ones being Hange Zoe, and Erwin Smith.
I guess Eren hasn't arrived yet.
Levi spoke, breaking the awkward silence. "Why the hell would you steal a VME when you could just use your own you imbecile?"
'...It's not like I could tell him I did it to make some Gods laugh... or...?'
"To make the Gods laugh." I said, my tone of voice serious as can be.
As soon as the last word left my mouth I felt a fist on my chin. His fists hurt like hell. Anyways, the truth can be the most unbelievable sometimes.
"Let's head back to base. We're going outside the walls tomorrow." Erwin finally spoke up.
___
Reviewer: Aphrodite
Rating 7.6/10
Review: OMG, I like totally ship you and Levi! *queue squeal* You need to get in his pants already! TTYL!
Reward: 1x Box of TrojanHorse Condoms manufactured by Athena
___
The corner of my lips twitched involuntarily...
Aphroditē is...
A fujoshi...
___
Reviewer: Ares
Rating: 0.1/10
Review: Aphroditē made me send you this, something about building a ship? Ah, who the fuck cares. Hurry up and kick some ass already. God damn it.
Reward: Sword Mastery
___
Just what have I gotten myself into...
Gods help me!
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(A/N: My sleep schedule is fucked so I'm going to sleep now at 1:10 PM. I'll probably work on it more once I wake up. Hope you enjoy.)
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