บท 55: Conflict of Interest
ELLE
"God knows how I missed seeing your angelic face when you are sleeping next to me. If only I could turn back the time, I'll definitely choose you over anyone else.." I heard him mumbled. Hindi naman talaga ako tulog. Pinikit ko lang yung mga mata ko dahil sa kagagahan na ginawa ko. But then I was shocked when he said those words to me.
"I'm very sorry for my shortcomings and for all the mistakes I've done to you, Elle.. I love you so much." And then I felt his lips touches mine.. I also knew that he's crying as some of his tears fell on my face.
Naramdaman kong humiga na siya sa tabi ko at matutulog na.. I stayed on that position for more than 1 hour, I also made sure that he is asleep nang hindi niya malaman na aalis na ako.
I grab my clothes and immediately wear it. Dahan-dahan kong binuksan ang pinto ng kwarto niya and thankfully, nakikisabay ang panahon saakin ngayon.
Hindi ako ready na mahuli niya akong tumatakas, lalong hindi ako ready na makipagusap sa kanya.
Pagkaabot ko sa elevator, agad kong pinihit ang button at salamat dahil kaagad itong nagbukas.
Sinarado ko ulit ito.
Dumiretso ako sa parking lot kung saan ang kotse ko at pumasok dito. Hindi ko muna ininstart ang engine bagkus ay napasabunot ako sa aking sarili.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, ELLE! YOU'D GONE CRAZY!" I said out of frustration. "This is not part of your plan! Bakit mo hinayaang mangyari ang bagay na to! Urgghh!!" Sabay sabunot ko sa aking sarili.
"Sa nangyaring ito, binigyan mo lang ng rason si Kyle upang umasa at gambalain ka lalo. Urgh, kairita!" I decided to start the engine and drive on my way home.
Almost an hour bago ako nakarating sa condo. Pinark ko ang kotse ko saka dumiretso sa elevator..
I headed straight to my unit and imprisoned myself there. Napagdesisyunan kong magtungo sa kwarto ko upang makatake ng shower.
I removed everything that I'm wearing and opened the shower and let it fall on my skin. I close my eyes as I felt every drop of it.
It took me half an hour before I decided to step out of the bathroom and wear my bathrobe.
"Where have you been?" I nearly yelled when I hear that voice. Hinanap ng aking mata ang boses na yun at nakita ko siyang nakaupo sa couch dito sa kwarto ko at naka de kwatro pa ang upo.
"What are you doing here?" I asked him.
"You answer my question first. Where have you been? Kanina pa kita tinatawagan, you didn't even replied to my messages." Kalmadong tanong niya saakin. I knew him. Alam ko kung kailan siya galit at kahit na kalmado ang boses niya, I can say na he's mad.
Hindi ko siya sinagot bagkus ay umupo ako sa gilid ng kama ko at kinuha ang lotion tsaka ito pinahid sa legs ko.
"Ano? Nakipagkita ka ba kay Kyle?" Napatingin ako sa kanya dahil sa tinuran niya. "Tama ako hindi ba?" Tanong niyang muli.
"I'm tired. I will sleep already. Go home." Utos ko sa kanya. "No, I will stay here."
"Jomari not now okay? Pagod ako." Kalmadong sabi ko.. I heard him laughing, sarcastically.
"You're tired?! With what? Tell me, Elle, with what? You didn't report on work today, you are also missing in action the entire day, and now you're telling me that you are tired?! Wow, just wow!" He said while clapping.
"You know what? I don't want to argue with you. Gaya ng sinabi ko, I'm tired. So please, go out peacefully." I said while signalling him to go out.
"I get it why you're tired." He said while smirking. "You had s*x with your husband right?" My eyebrows frowned.
"What?!", "Don't even bother to hide it, Elle. I know that you stayed with him and diminishing the thought of 'didn't had s*x' is just so lowkey for me. So tell me, Elle. How was it?!" I clenched my fist because of what he have said..
"Was he good? Like good enough to make you c*m for countless times?!" He added without removing that smirk on his face. He stood up and walk towards me.. "Who performed better, is it me or Kyle, Elle?" I gave him my most deadliest glare..
"Masarap ba, Elle huh masarap ba?! Nagustuhan mo ba ang ginagawa niya sayo, Elle?! Have you had enough to the point that you got tired knowing that I'm here?!" He's drunk. Hindi ko siya pwedeng sabayan. Kailangan kong magtimpi.
"Jomari, please stop it.. Please.." Kalmado kong utos sa kanya. Tumawa siya nang malakas.
"You want me to stop? Bakit naman? Dahil tama lahat nang pinagsasabi ko, diba Elle? Dahil sa sobra kang nasarapan sa ginawa nang lintik mong asawa eh napagod ka when it comes to me!" Nakatingin ako sa kanya.. I already figured it out kung saan to papunta.
"Hindi mo ko magawang mahalin dahil si Kyle pa rin ang laman ng puso mo! Hindi mo magawang suklian lahat nang pinakita ko sayo, dahil umaasa ka pa rin na babalikan ka ni Kyle! At hindi mo ko kayang panindigan dahil sa pagmamahal mo para kay Kyle! Lahat nang ito dahil sa p*nyetang Kyle na yan!!" Nagulat ako dahil bigla niyang binato sa kung saan ang basong hawak niya..
"May parevenge-revenge ka pa, yun pala ginagamit mo lang upang makuha ulit si Kyle. Ang laki kong tanga dahil umaasa akong mamahalin mo rin ako, na balang araw mapapalitan ko din si Kyle dyan sa puso mo. To tell you honestly, nung oras na may nangyari saatin, I was so hopeful dahil baka this time, papanig na saakin ang pagkakataon, but I was too blind and stupid to distinguish between reality to fantasy!" Galit niyang sabi saakin. Tumingin siya saakin na tila isa ako baso na gusto niyang basagin gaya nang ginawa niya sa basong hawak niya.
"Kung hindi kita makuha sa santong dasalan, edi idadaan kita sa santong paspasan." He mumbled as he started to walk towards me.
"W-what are you doing?! S-stay right there.." Nauutal kong sabi sa kanya. "What's with the stuttering, Elle? Feeling nervous?" Natatawang sabi niya..
"I warn you, Jomari.. Don't go near me.." Dinuduro ko siya gamit ang index finger ko pero tila wala siyang marinig..
Sinubukan kong tumakbo patungo sa banyo ko upang saraduhin ito ngunit huli na dahil agad niya akong sinunggaban at itinapon sa kama. Agad siyang pumaibabaw saakin at saka pinunit ang polong suot niya.
"YOU'RE MINE, ELLE! YOU'RE ONLY MINE!!!" He yelled as he tried to kiss me. Sinusubukan ko siyang itulak but he was too strong..
"P-please stop, Jomari! P-please don't do this to me!!" Iyak kong sigaw sa kanya.. Pero hindi siya tumitigil..
"DON'T!!!" I yelled when he untied my bathrobe at agad itong hinubad saakin at itinapon sa kung saan.
He caressed my b**bs roughly.. "P-please stop... please..." Patuloy pa rin sa pag-agos ang aking mga luha dahil sa ginagawa niya.
"REMEMBER THIS, ELLE.. AKIN KA LANG. AKIN LANG TO.. AKIN KA LANG.. NOT EVEN KYLE CAN HAVE YOU!" Hindi ito ang Jomari na nakilala ko.. Ibang tao tong kaharap ko.. Hinding-hindi to gagawin ni Jomari..
Tumigil na rin ako sa pagtutulak dahil sa panghihinang nararamdaman ko dulot nang pagiyak..
Hinayaan ko na lamang siyang babuyin at pagsawaan ang katawan ko.
"P-please s-stop..." Mahinang sabi ko... I noticed na unti-unti na siyang tumitigil sa ginagawa niya..
Tumingin siya saakin at nakita niya na wasted ako at humihikbi.
"Sh.t!" I heard him cussed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ---! Urgh fck!" Umalis siya sa ibabaw ko at umupo sa dingding malapit sa kama ko..
Niyakap ko ang aking sarili at tanging pag-iyak na lamang ang aking ginawa.. Ni hindi ko man lang naprotektahan ang aking sarili. I feel like I was a dirt filled with fillers and filters.
"Elle.." I heard him calling my name but I didn't respond. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? It's not my intention to hurt you --"
"But you already did.. You already hurt me, Jomari. You even did nasty thing to me.. What else do you want?" Cold kong sabi. Tumigil na rin ako sa pag-iyak ngunit nanatili pa rin akong nakayakap sa aking katawan.
"I was --" I interrupted him. "Get out." Utos ko.
"Elle, please --", "Didn't you hear me? I said, GET OUT!" Lakas loob kong sigaw sa kanya. Bagsak ang mga balikat na lumabas siya ng unit ko.
Gumapang ako upang balutin ng kumot ang katawan ko. At naguunahang dumaloy ang mga luha ko..
Ang sama ko bang tao to deserve this?
I only want a peaceful like but it was not given to me.. And now, ang taong pinagkakatiwalaan ko, did something that really hurt me.
Nahihiya ako para sa katawan ko... I own this pero wala man lang akong nagawa to prevent this..
The last time I nearly got raped was with Nick but Kyle arrived and save me.
But now, Kyle didn't appeared.. What if I didn't leave him alone in his unit? Maybe, I prevented this thing to happen.. Crazy me..
I check my phone and it says 2:27 dawn.. Maybe he's in to deep sleep..
I have no one to speak right now. I was left with no knight in shining armour to lean on..
Tears began to fall again..
As it has started to sink in my memory, what Jomari had just said a while ago.
That I still love him..
The reason why I can't let Jomari be part of my life.
Is because I really hope that we'll end up with each other..
I held my blanket so tight as I close my eyes..
And let out a deep sigh as I spilled out something from my mouth.
"Kyle...."
---
To be continued..
(The end for this novel is coming!! Sorry for not being inactive, I will try my best to continuously, give you updates!)
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