บท 8: My Reason To Live
Note: Abuse up ahead, I have warned you
"Um," I wept as I hunted my brain for any ideas, but whenever I sank into thought, he would twist the objects into my back and add more and more of those boiling flares.
"1.... 2.... 3.... 4.... 5.... 6...7.... 8.... 9...10," He counted slowly and for each second I would scream louder and say a random object that showed up in my mind as an answer. But they were all wrong.
Then it hit me, "MY LORD... Is it a.... c... Ci... Cigar perhaps?" I pleaded, I genuinely longed for this to be over.
"Are you asking or telling me," He twisted again, my eyes lit up, he wasn't saying no I thought and I promptly replied.
"Yes... Um... I'm telling you, my lord," It was then he withdrew the objects from my back and I sighed in relief, although the heat never dispersed and I could feel the lingering heat. There I was kneeling, my body riddled with bruises, cuts that spurted blood and circular burns haphazardly strewn across my back.
"Good, I'm surprised you didn't faint, look at me!" He ordered I turned around slowly wincing in pain I could barely keep my eyes from closing and fainting right there. My vision was blurry, but there he was, his face contorted in a sadistic smile. He had a cigar blithely hanging from his lips while there were many cigars floating in midair, his magic held up.
"You know this is magic, right?" I gave a slight nod to his answer to my head was spinning and my ears constantly rang making his words sound very faint and broken. "Can you do this," I shook my head no.
"This is something even toddlers in this clan can achieve, but yet you an 8-year-old can't even accomplish let alone a slight breeze. You are really such a waste little bastard, you understand that, right?" He leaned back in his chair as he laughed, I see he is trying to make me understand my position and just how trashy I am,"
"Yes, my Lord, I am even worse than trash, more insignificant than a drop of water in the ocean or a grain of sand," I replied in a voice devoid of emotions, my eyes lifeless I was broken, he was right I was trash everyone knew that even myself.
"Good, get lost now, hobble back to that bitch mother of yours," He laughed again, but I wasn't angry, instead relief washed over me, finally I could return to my sweet mother's arms I did this all for her, to protect her I didn't want to see her suffer, I would shoulder ten worlds for her if need be.
With newfound determination, I slowly rose to my jello-like legs and dragged my stark naked self one unstable step at a time to the door, trailing blood along with me.
I fell a couple of times, allowing dirt and sand to cover my already bruised body, it would probably infect my wounds, but it didn't matter all that matters is that I make it home to my mother. I picked myself up again each time, my arms were limp at their sides, it surprised me, I wasn't dead, maybe I was close, but I was still alive. It didn't register in my mind when others stared at me and laughed or tossed rocks at my head; I had one goal in mind; my house where I could cuddle up with mother and she would gently console me and comfort me so I could push forward. My laboured breathing crashed against my dry lips and my body was heavy and my vision was becoming more and more blurred when faintly I heard a voice.
"Are you okay?" She seems nice I thought as I stared at her with dead eyes, then I remembered she was that maid the one who would occasionally bring food to my mother and I and we were best friends we would often play in secret. 'Right in secret' that was my last thought before my world went black and I collapsed.
In the darkness, I heard weeping filled with endless regret and sadness. "I...I... I'm so sorry... Useless.... So... Useless,"
I forcefully fluttered my eyes, weighing a thousand pounds open, and I could make out a familiar figure; my mother. Seeing my eyes open, she went to hug me but stopped seeing my wounds before she continued weeping in grief.
"Darling, are you okay?" She wept looking at me sadly, I wanted to reply, but my throat felt sore and my tongue parched so I gently nodded. I looked down and realized the bandages that made me a mummy. I struggled to open my mouth again, desperate to squeeze a few words out that came out croaky and slurred "Look, mother, I really became a mummy," I tried to comfort her by making a joke but she only looked at me in horror before she wept again.
"I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so useless I can't even protect our own daughter," She lamented, but who is this 'ours' she is referring to, that 'demon' with the name Father? But I decided not to think about it. I gently opened my hand and grabbed her pinky finger as that was all I could manage and I gave her a gentle reassuring smile.
"Your eyes aren't ones of a child but of one that has shouldered the world and seen the hardships of life and knows not of innocence I am the cause for that I ruined that purity because I can't even protect you and that is my greatest sin, and for that I'm sorry," She looked at me in sorrow and guilt but what she doesn't realize is that she's the one that keeps me going that helps me endure the greatest pain that feeling of coming home to a warm embrace and being gently cared for warmed my heart and that was the reason I could live on. If I lost that I don't know what might happen. I wanted to let her know that she was my world, my everything.
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Black_Mashiro12
Black_Mashiro12 Here trying to stay sane in qurantine. Also Double update! Mainly because I was procrastinating on a stupid assignment I had to do. Thanks for reading.
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