บท 3: I'll become the queen of freedom !
EARTH CLAN – HOUSE OF THE HEULFRYNS - THEOR 145
She violently slammed the table, not even wanting to look at this husband of hers.
"And you think that I'll accept that? Do you know everything I would have to sacrifice?"
"I know, but can't you do this for me, and them?"
"For them certainly not! And for you I would do much, but you won't let me!"
It was his turn to get angry. "He's my brother! How many times must I tell you this, I won't let it happen!"
"So why should I help you, then?"
"Don't tell me you'll use innocent children's lives, just so I let you commit murder! Do you even have a heart? Very well… If you want a reason, what do you think would happen if I told the Inquisition about the situation?"
She grinned and chuckled. "You wouldn't do that. What would you even win out of it? You'd be the first to die and they would follow before I do, and your other two children with all of us."
"…"
"I told you being a man of principles would not always help you."
"And if I bring them here without your consent, would you have a choice then?"
Her face turned cold. "Probably not. But remember, you've broken your most holy vow toward me and – most importantly – toward Kmir. Don't think I'd feel guilty to break a small promise I once did to you."
He took his head into his hands. He knew that what he did was wrong from the Church's point of view. However, he did not see this rule this clearly in the holy texts. A lot of passages about blood and its importance, but… He sighted. He knew he was just searching excuses for himself.
Now was not the time for theological debates. He could not let her… It was his elder and most dear brother's life that was at stake! All this for power, it angered him so much. How could he have married her? … Right, his father. He could not let her but… when he thought about this little girl smiling at him… and the new baby born…
"Fine. Do whatever you want."
WIND CLAN – SOMEWHERE IN THE NORTH - ALDIR 147
Astrid was now eight years old and Lin, ten. During these years, they slept in the same bed, listened to the same stories, invented their own. They spent their days working hard next to each other and their evenings laughing together.
Lin never talked on her own about the water clan but answered all the questions Astrid sometimes had. Thus Astrid learned about the wood houses high over the ground, large and flat, the rivers, hills, their cult of knowledge, their daily habits, the utmost importance of loyalty to brothers, sisters and cousins.
Every time she asked Lin about her family, the latter turned quiet. When she talked about her parents, it was always polite but short and distant. However, whenever she talked about her eldest brother Vlad, her eyes lit up briefly, and she said much more, thought she always seemed to be on the verge of crying toward the end. Astrid just assumed she missed them, so she told her to be strong, that she would visit them in a while, and should not be puerile and cry. Lin always nodded at these words, but never looked truly comforted.
One day, she came to Astrid, running wild, panting but all smiles.
"Astrid!! There's something that I absolutely must tell you! Grandfather announced me something!"
Astrid was quite surprised.
"You had a meeting with grandpa? It should be an important mission, or maybe news from your family?"
"Nope! But it's great news! Well… at least it is something very meaningful to me."
She paused, her eyes turning more serious.
"Astrid… I want you to understand why it is so important to me, so I would have to explain… I wanted to tell you this for a while, but I was not allowed to.
I asked for grandfather's approval today. He hesitated but said it would be fine. Only, you really, really mustn't tell anyone, even your father doesn't know."
Astrid's eyes sparkled. Finally, there would be no secret between her and her Lini!"
"I promise you! What is good news for you is good news for me! I will be the guardian of your secret, as the future chief of the noble Hansen tribe!"
"Thank you, I knew I could trust you."
The caravans were stopped for now. Her parents were trading with another family. Astrid was sitting on a carriage, watching over it. Lin came sitting with her. Her voice was even softer and quieter than usual, she sighted, summoned up her courage, and started to explain.
"If I came here three years ago, it's because… my family was slaughtered. Everyone. My parents, grandparents, my four sisters, three brothers. My eldest brother was not at home that day. I hope with all my heart that he's alive but… I don't think so. They surely found him that night, or... or he killed himself.
If I survived, it's because they missed the heart by a few inches, they did not touch any vital point. I used all my energy to cover myself with my younger sisters' blood, and to stay awake without moving. When they came back to check on me after killing my parents, it was enough to convince them.
They left, probably to search for Vlad, I don't know. I waited for so long. Then, our butler found me. He used magic to heal me and took me out of there. Said they would come back to burn everything. He also told me I was the last one.
I don't know for sure who they were and why they came. Their faces were engraved in my mind, but they were probably just mercenaries. Some enemies of my family, or earth clan's people. The great war had ended only two years prior, so revenge was a daily matter.
The butler sent me here, as the wind clan and water clan are allies since the Origin, since we share the same parents, Sofiia and Aldir. I could not stay there. We have no idea who did it, and they would go back to cover their traces if they found out I'm alive."
She had tried to keep her voice in check and her face emotionless, but the pain was vivid in her eyes. "Do you understand? I can't ever go back. You're my family. My one and only family."
Astrid was so shocked she could not speak for a while. Tears came to her eyes, but she kept them inside, not wanting to make Lin uncomfortable. She took her into her arms. There were no words that could be said, she could only let her know she was there for her.
So many questions filled her mind. Why all this hate? Why were there still wars? Why did Lini have to live through this? She whispered to her ear: "I'm so sorry for all the questions I asked about your past… You'll always have a family here, not matter what happens, even if we travel all the time. You'll always have a family."
Lin hugged her for a few minutes, then let go. He eyes were a bit wet but not red. She smiled.
"Now for the piece of news. You'll understand why it's so great. Grandfather will… adopt me as his own granddaughter!!
He'll put me in the register in the next clan meeting, the Elders council should accept! I'll be put as a war orphan. I'll even get a role! They won't be able to tattoo it to me, but it will still be official all the same. I'm so happy, Astrid!"
"It's great!"
She truly felt overjoyed for her, but, at the same time, a doubt filled her heart. If Lin became her sister, she would become her older sister. Didn't that mean that Lin would be the next chief, then? Would she be replaced just like that? She tried to articulate something.
"But… You… I… Did grandpa… Hum, will you be sitting next to dad and grandpa in the next clan council then?"
Her hands began shaking, so she hid them. She looked straightforward, mentally preparing herself to be replaced, retrograded.
Lin looked at her, startled. Then she seemed to understand as she blinked her eyes with an air of surprise.
"Astrid…
No, don't ever worry about that! Official member of the family, but never an official member of the clan, that would never be allowed. I'll have the same responsibilities and will be judged under the same laws, but… my status will always be different, I'll always be a stranger.
When you'll be chief, I'll be your most loyal subordinate and your best counselor!"
"Lin, why are you giving such importance to blood? We are free people! Why should blood shackle us to some land or law?"
Lin always had this kind of speech Astrid did not understand. To any outsider, she had become a proper wind girl. She knew everything there was to know. She was full of life, always passionate about everything, hard-working, she knew her chores, and every small detail of the camp's functioning.
However, she still could not make free of the chains that hold her. They were so tight on her, Astrid did not know how to free her.
"You'll be part of my family, you'll be my elder sister, why the fuss with the details?
If you're worthier than me, it would be absurd to refuse you for your eye color or blood.
You're much smarter than I am, so who knows…"
Considerably calmer, she took Lin's right hand and put it on her heart. She saw adults do that in meaningful moment, or when they were to tell a confession.
"However, thank you for your loyalty. No matter what happens, we'll stay one for the other without fail. We complement each other."
"Un, whatever may happen!"
Then, she stood on her feet, laughed a little and spun.
"So? What do you think my role will be?"
"Well… You're as good as mum for calculations and counting money, so you'd be a great Gold Master. Or else…"
Astrid suddenly realized something. She became so excited that she was not able to stay put, eyes wide open and filled with stars.
"Tales Master, Lini!! Tales Master!
You're so good at remembering things and you already know more stories than most of the adults! I've heard you tell them, you have so much talent!!"
"What? No I don't have any special talent, it's your stories, Astrid. They're… they're just so…
I always liked reading, but in the water clan we read the Holy Texts, the Morals, academic subjects. Here…"
Her eyes lit up as she spoke faster and faster.
"Your legends, your stories, they're so beautiful! So well written! I mean, it's full of magic, adventures, romance, epic battles... The faces of the children when they ask me to tell them what happens next! However, at the same time, they contain lessons, as many as the Morals of the water clan do, so that adults discuss them and children assimilate them without even realizing it! Every bit is so fascinating!"
She then lost Astrid while doing a short analysis of one of her favorite tales.
"It's true that if I could spend my days learning them, passing them to the next generation …
But Tales Master are so rare. And the Hansen are nobles of the second circle, they're one of the most important family of the clan. The role I'll have will be for the clan, so they won't let me…
Most people are Land Masters, I'll be that too for sure…
How could they let a stranger share our culture?
... Your. Your culture, I have to stop dreaming."
She then smiled again.
"No, I can't whine like that! I'm already so lucky, I can't ask for more!"
Astrid knew this smile. In all these years, Lin never stopped smiling. She always had this sometimes soft, sometimes bright smile. Everyone thought she was just happy all the time, but Astrid knew better. She was the only one to know when Lin's smile was not a real one.
It was the same issue over and over again: despite being a girl of the wind in every aspect of practical life, she still talked so much about laws, rules. She did not know what it was to be free, truly free. She would not even dare to imagine what it was like.
"Master of Land, you? Ha! Nope, you might be better with your hands now than your weaklings of the water clan, but you're not good enough for any of the Land Masters responsibilities. And even if you were, that would be such a loss! You're so good at listening, counselling...
And also, Grandpa will a-do-pt you! If the Grand council refuses, then… then… then they're all idiots, na! Plus it would be so unjust!
You want to be a Tales Master? Then as a girl of the wind, do it! Fly where your desires lie!"
"Astrid... You haven't seen any strangers besides me in the wind clan, ever. Do you know why?"
"Well, we travel all the time and other clans don't like that... Once, I've heard uncle Ösil say that they are jealous of our freedom, something like that.
But if all other clans' members are as nice as you are, there's no reason for them not to come."
"That might be one of the reasons. You're the clan with the fewest strangers passing by, most likely also because you have no academy or school. However, if no one comes to live here or marry one of yours is because it is forbidden to mix between clans. Even living together is not considered good. To travel or study, it is perfectly okay, but settling oneself in another clan is really difficult. And having children with someone who is not of the same clan is strictly forbidden. The parents are killed by the Inquisition as soon as it is found out, and the child or children with them.
The only reason I am not looked down upon and bullied here is because of the importance you give to freedom, and grandfather's protection, but still. The adults will always see me as a stranger. On this earth, blood is the law, whether you want to believe it or not, Astrid.
That is why I worry that they won't accept me as a Tales Master, and that is why I know I won't ever take your place. I won't ever be able to have an offspring either."
"But that's awful!! Why can't we marry whoever we want, who said that?!"
She could not fathom why. She was suddenly so sad.
"But... you're my sister, this is our family, our tribe, our clan, yours and mine! Adults can't take away our freedom like that!
We'll find a way! If the adults say no, we'll find a way so they say yes. I sometimes am able to do that with mum and dad, maybe I can with others, too."
"Have you ever heard of Kmir, Astrid?"
"Kmir? I've heard of it but I only remember the outlines. Why?"
"In my clan, and in all the others, actually, and in the Capital, also, listening to Kmir and following the Holy Texts is more important than anything else. There's a King and a Queen, but the Order, that means the Clergy and Inquisition, are the real rulers.
And, the Order says that having children between two different clans people is blasphemous, one of the worst crime on this earth. This, along with worshiping Chaos or the Old Spirits, and practicing black magic, are know as the three great crimes. If there is proof, an inquisitor can execute you without a trial ! That's why. The people who said that aren't ones you can offend, Astrid. As long as you stay here, say whatever you want, but outside...."
"Humph, if it's like that, I'll become the queen of freeeeeedom!! And I'll be more powerful than all the bad people!!"
Lin frowned. Hearing Astrid speak like that made her worried. She tried one last time to reason with her. "You know, outside, everyone seeks power more than anything. To them, a queen of freedom would be weak."
"Power is not anything important! When mum reads stories to me, the one who wins is not the most powerful but the most brave and righteous! Power just binds you to the ground, it doesn't make you accomplish as many things as freedom!"
She got out of the carriage and told her: "I'll go see Grandpa and ask him! Don't worry, Lini, if he doesn't listen to me, I'll go ask the Grand council directly!"
She felt so adult right now. However, she knew it was not as easy as that. She was not going to talk with Grandpa, but with the chief of the Hansen Tribe, one of the chiefs of the wind. She had to be careful.
She refused to see a smile like that on Lini's face ever again!
Finally, Lin smiled and let go. She liked seeing her so carefree. She was still a child after all. The age she herself was when the tragedy happened. She was glad Astrid wasn't forced to mature as quickly as her. "Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. However… if you agree, let me talk to Grandfather directly.
You're right, if I want to be accepted as a girl of the wind, I have to start acting like one, and fight my own fights!"
With her braided hair flying around her and her body emanating all her determination, no one could ever call her a stranger.
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