บท 93: Flashbacks, the wounds of the past 4
Adriana laid in her hospital bed for almost two hours without moving.
It had been a while since she felt so numb.
Her children were always there to prevent that.
But right now she couldn't even face them. She felt so weak and pathetic, and she completely detested it.
She had no strength to fake a smile or converse with anyone.
Looking at the teddy bear on the table beside her, she recognized it in an instant.
Stifling a laughed, she parted her lips to speak but held back her intention and rephrased her intended words.
"Do you know what would make me happy at this moment?" She asked.
"Yeah, I promised I wouldn't let love get the best of me and trap me into an illusion, but that doesn't mean I can escape it. I still long for that warm embrace, you know?"
"Wouldn't it be amazing if he could be here right now? But even if he were, I wouldn't jump into his arms, because I know I shouldn't. The last time I did, I was too emotional. I still regret my decision. I wouldn't have gotten him involved with me If I hadn't cried in his arms."
"I think I'm still hurting him. I never cleared up those accusations, and I came back and still refused to tell him the truth of their falsehood. And somehow I don't feel bad about it, I want him to suffer as much as I did. And it's not his fault he didn't know what was happening to me back then, but still, I want him to suffer so that he can understand me. So that he realizes how much his ignorance and failure to protect our family, hurt me."
She felt her heart on her throat after she said that.
This was the first time she had spoken her true honest feelings.
And too who? A teddy bear? Oh, God...
Taking a greedy amount of air through her nostrils she opened her mouth once again. As if she was under a spell, she expressed her feelings to the teddy bear.
No lies, no excuses, just her real thoughts, and feelings.
"I'm a bad person, yes. But if that's the label I have to take, to be strong, I don't care. I've hurt and manipulated people. I've deceived, lied, and framed people too. All of it for my own selfish goals. And I don't care, they had it coming anyway. All I did was speed up the process."
Her lips twitched, and a venomous sneer escaped without her permission.
"I'm horrible, and I don't feel bad about it. Because I'm all that matters. I'm the most important person after my children." She added.
"I will always be my second priority. Aside from Aria and James, no one change that, not even him."
She could feel the silence trying to taunt her and bring her down for speaking with such confidence in herself but not even the silence of the room could defy her. She was the only dictator of her life and if she said she was right then she was right.
If she said she could do it, she could do it.
If she told herself to stop, she would stop.
"I've told myself that I changed but that's a lie. I've always been like this, I faked my kindness and forced my sweet smiles because I was too hungry for people's acceptance. A people pleaser who knew nothing but to succumb to them."
"I did my best to hide my true nature. The truth behind my every action. I can hide it from everyone else but not from myself. I've always had this side of me, I simply had chosen to ignore it because I was convinced my life would be easier that way. But it was a lie, I forced myself to swallow."
Tilting her neck with hard pressure she waited until she heard the sound of a crack
"Okay, I told you one of my secrets. Where's my hug?" Adriana asked, remembering Aria's words.
Aria had told her, "Mommy if you tell Fred a secret your chest will feel less heavy and he will give you a big warm hug!"
She rolled her eyes. Aria's therapist had gifted her Fred so that it would help her open up about what she went through with the 'bad grandma' as she called her.
"Oh, my chest feels lighter…." Adriana shook her head and removed her IV drip in annoyance.
She closed her eyes for a few minutes and decided to pretend she was asleep so that it could actually happen. Unfortunately, it was not the case and she moved around uncomfortably.
'I always hate hospital beds.' She thought to herself.
Finally, she started to doze off. She was very tired and even if she was uncomfortable she could simply not escape the need to rest.
Maybe it was because she revealed one of her secrets to Fred the teddy bear, but she dreamt one of the happiest memories buried deep into her skull.
The happy memories that had been covered by the pain, and the way her heart had been brutally shattered.
....
7 years ago:
'Catch me.' She mouthed and ran.
Noah shook his head and started running after her.
As they got closer and closer to a small beach house, Adriana slowed down intentionally.
"If I reach the beach house first, you can't kiss me for a week." She threatened with a smirk.
Noah raised an eyebrow. He quickened his movements with determination. He would definitely catch her.
Right when she was 3 feet away from the beach house, he caught her and lifted her in the air. "Got ya'."
She giggled and wrapped her legs around his waist.
"Fine, you win. To congratulate you, I have prepared a surprise." She tilted her head, pointing to the beach house.
Noah held the key in his hand and realized what she was planning. "Is my birthday gift you?" He smirked.
"Maybe…" She burst out in laughter when he secured her in his arms and ran inside the beach house.
When they entered he let out a small audible gasp.
"Whoa, how bold of you." He turned to her with an awestruck expression, and what he saw made him swallow.
She removed her dress and grinned.
"What? If you will not unwrap your gift, I will do it for you."
"Love, you know how much I adore you, but this is simply unacceptable."
"Huh, but I was so thoughtful with your gift."
"You know that's not what I mean."
"Noah the hot tub is amazing, just enjoy it."
He rolled his eyes and ran after her to catch her.
She had left his imagination run wild, only to realize it was all just a tease.
What she really had in mind was swimming in a hot tub with a view of the stars above them.
With a sigh, he watched her jump into the water.
Removing his shirt and then his pants, she joined her inside.
"This is bullying." He whispered, wrapping his arms around her waist.
"Bullying? What? Don't you think a night under the stars, especially in a meteor shower that will happen in a few minutes, not a splendid gift?"
"Then I guess we won't get to see the meteor shower." He shrugged, instantly attacking her neck and holding her still by her thigh.
"Noah…" She moaned.
"If you don't gratefully accept your gift, I'm going to forbid skin contact for a month."
"..."
"You really love to test my patience don't you?" He grunted in the complaint.
"What patience is there to test?" She looked around curiously.
"Hmph." With his hot breath tickling the skin on the crook of her neck, he pressed open-mouthed kisses onto her.
Her grip on the edge of the hot tub tightened, one more slow sensual kiss and she would melt in his arms.
"I'd like to get out of bed tomorrow." She whispered when he suddenly gripped her thigh forcefully keeping her in place as his kissed changed their course of direction towards her womanhood.
"You will, in my arms." He replied, with a chuckle.
"Noah."
"Adriana."
"I'm serious."
"So am I." The hand on her thigh suddenly moved up with slow strokes, making her strength to stand escape.
"You will not have your way with me tonight." She shook her head, suppressing a moan when he suddenly changed his destination and bit her sensitive nipple instead
"Oh, but I will."
He smiled in satisfaction, noticing how over time she stopped blushing at his every touch and started to fight back for leadership in their intimacy.
….
Present:
"They finally fell asleep," Kimberly said with a sigh.
"Now, we wait." Cristy sighed as well.
They were outside Adriana's room and they could not walk inside despite knowing she was awake.
The two guards would simply not allow them. And even if they warned, begged, ordered, they would not give in.
Adriana's order was like their law and they knew better than to disobey it, even if her friends were begging them to.
"I've been with her since we were 14. I befriended her then and fell in love with the girl. Seven years ago, I befriended a new person and fell in love with that new woman. I know her the very best and she will not allow us in, and when she does if we speak one word of what happened she will kick us out." Cristy told her, clear frustration on her face.
She seemed used to Adriana, but she still was frustrated, angry at her.
Kimberly was still getting used to this recent version of Adriana and was only anxious because of Adriana's health and not what's happening to her regarding her actions and situations.
It was not her place to, since she did not know what Adriana went through these years or exactly how she changed.
All she could do was pray that she would be healthy again.
An indifferent Adriana was better than a bedridden one.
"Ah! I'm so stupid. Why didn't I think of it earlier? Call your brother, give him this Address I'm sure he will open that door for us." Cristy smirked.
"Huh? You know him?"
"Who doesn't? I'm sure Adriana will want to curse him so much she will have no choice but to walk out of that door and let us in."
"Wow, you're quite confident in that."
"I am." Cristy nodded.
"I promised not to get involved unless she allows it so I can't." Kimberly shook her head.
"But this is for the best! It's the only way we can see her and know if she's fine or not. Cristy persuaded.
Kimberly raised an eyebrow, "You are aware they are divorced, right?"
"Yes, that's what makes it even better. I'm sure this solution will be super effective."
"Just like you know her so well, I know my brother too. Even if he's dying to see her, he won't come."
"Why?"
"Because he's angry. She came here without telling him a peep, and he could be super desperate to see her, but he will not come. Even if she's in a hospital bed. That's how stubborn he is."
"Do you want to bet?" Cristy asked.
Kimberly chuckled. "It's your word against mine, girl. Trust me, he won't."
"Then why are you so afraid? Do you want to do it with euros or dollars?" Cristy asked.
"Dollars."
'I can't believe in my best friend's ex-husband.' Cristy laughed, but if this would make Adriana come out of her little cave and show her claws that would be awesome.
Cristy knew Adriana through and through. She might be a lioness who protects her cubs but deep down Adriana was just a small cat afraid of herself and her sharp claws.
If there was a person Christina Lowine Elise cared, cherished, and valued the most is Adriana Price.
And after this, she would give her a long scolding.
Nobody, but her would dare raise her voice and scold Adriana other than herself.
Their friendship was deep, and they shared each other's deepest darkest secrets. Nobody knew them better than themselves.
-----
New York:
It was almost 6 pm when Noah received Kimberly's call.
He was in his apartment and not the hotel he had been staying at.
What was the use of doing so when Aria (Adriana) was gone?
He had finished work early today, and it had completely exhausted him.
"What? Repeat that?"
"I said she's in a hospital and she's dying."
"Okay, Kim, enough matchmaking. It's almost 12 am over there, go to sleep."
Kimberly gasped. "You don't believe me?!"
"I don't."
"Okay fine, she's not dying, but she fainted and now is hospitalized. They told me she's been like that since 5 am and like you said, it's almost 12 am. She has not woken up at all and the doctors are not sure what's happening to her."
"People faint because of exhaustion Kim." Noah rolled his eyes, whilst eating his dinner.
"Okay, fine. She woke up once. But she's back to sleep again! Her face is pale and-"
BEEP
Kimberly: "..."
"Humph."
She watched the guard's exchange snacks and coffee and she rushed to the hospital room, locking it before they could catch her.
Determined to prove her brother wrong, she took a picture of Adriana's pale complexion and sleeping body.
She then sent it and walked towards the bed, knowing the guards would not dare knock on the door, knowing Adriana was there.
…..
Noah ignored his notification because he knew Kimberly was the sender.
Eating the instant noodles, he sighed and looked at his lock screen. When he saw an image was sent, he swallowed nervously.
He opened the message, and he froze.
So, she wasn't lying.
"What's the use?" he mumbled.
"As if she'll even want to see me."
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
He would not allow himself to care anymore. Why would he?
If she wanted to detach herself from him, then so be it.
'Since when did she become my concern?' He texted his sister and shut off his phone, continuing to eat his dinner undisturbed.
"I told her to take the medicine before her fever returned."
"Did she not listen to me? Why doesn't she ever listen to me?"
"God.Damn.It." He finished the instant noodles and threw away the cup.
Walking towards his office, he opened the last drawer. He picked up a grey gift box and walked back to his bedroom, where he laid down and closed his eyes.
"Adriana Price…" He whispered while playing with the opening of the box.
There was a distant laughter ringing in his ears, it was loud and disturbing yet so pleasing and sweet.
Her laughter was a song he would love to add to his playlist and loop it for all eternity.
"Adriana Price, Adriana Price Adriana P-Preston."
He groaned and opened the box, too greedy for that memory that was about to slip from his mind. He couldn't;t allow to leave him and so he tried harder to remember.
Since he was no longer visiting hypnotists, it was much easier to remember.
Left with no choice, he ignored the photographs inside and instead concentrated on the sterling silver chain where two wedding rings were on.
He tossed the box aside, and he relaxed, playing with the rings.
"Adriana Price. Adriana Preston. Adriana Price. Adriana Preston."
He stifled a laugh, unlocking a fresh memory he had forgotten because of his hypnosis treatment.
He had deceived the hypnotists. No one knew he had this habit of opening the box and playing with the rings every time until what he had forgotten finally came to him.
He promised himself that he wouldn't do it, but it was a temptation he always failed to dismiss.
She was a craggy mountain, tall and snow-capped. Strong, cold, and dangerous, and yet he had no greater ambition nor determination than to climb it.
….
Seven years ago:
"Adriana Price, Adriana Preston." Noah turned around and faced her with a smile.
"I like both. I can't decide which one is my favorite."
Pulling the blanket over her naked breasts, Adriana laid her head on his neck, connecting the tattoo of a fish on his chest and the one behind her ear.
It is this exact position that had given them an idea for their matching tattoos.
Wrapping an arm around her, Noah laughed, "I met Adriana Price and fell in love with her. But I'm married to Adriana Preston whom I love and treasure. I cannot choose which one I favor."
"Choose the one you will spend the rest of your life with," Adriana mumbled, nonchalantly not realizing the power of her words.
Just that one sentence made his heart flip, and his eyes light up.
Raising an eyebrow, wanting to reward her for helping him decide, he flipped her around until she was trapped beneath him.
She looked up in surprise and smiled innocently, unaware of the dangerous thoughts running through his head.
She always saw him as a cheerful person, affectionate and caring but she always dismissed his ability to be cold and heartless.
And she underestimated him very much.
She had asked him to choose the one he will spend the rest of his life with, and so he would make sure to follow her words obediently.
He promised himself that very moment she would be his and his alone until the day she decided that she no longer desired him.
But he did not believe that day would ever come. He trusted their deep love and fondness for each other. And so the only thought in his mind was keeping her locker by his side.
It was so troublesome because he wanted her chained to him and yet he could not bear to restrict her freedom.
She was a small, adorable cat that rarely showed her sharp claws. It was so amusing.
"Then Mrs.Preston, for all lifetimes it is." He offered her his signature smirk, overflowing with arrogance.
"You are always overflowing with arrogance." She commented, caressing his cheek.
"Your fault." He blamed her audaciously.
"Excuse me? That sounds like a personal problem. Nothing to do with me." Adriana shook her head denying his accusation.
"My arrogance is the fruit of your undying love for me."
"Oh...really?" She raised an eyebrow. "Hmm, I'm pretty sure you've been like this since oh...forever!"
He only smiled and lowered his eyes to her lips.
Licking the small cut on it because of his harsh kiss last night she provoked him even more.
Without wasting a single second he lowered his gaze to her abdomen and pulled the blanket over his head.
"Ah... wait-"
Covering her mouth, she looked away and closed her eyes.
"Work!" She shouted, feeling his hands already exploring freely.
"Yes, work comes later." He agreed shamelessly as if he did not understand what she truly meant.
She let out a small gasp and lifted her hand where her wedding ring was on, she used it to grip onto the pillow behind her head.
"Noah!"
"Adriana, love."
"Work." She repeated.
"Me." He appeared before her once again and bit her earlobe.
"Noah."
Noticing how she was barely holding herself together because of the wonders his fingers were doing on her, he chuckled.
"Yes, love?" He asked swallowing, touching her skin with his nose, taking a deep breath in, and speeding up his actions.
He watched her give in to the pleasure and his lips curled upwards.
….
Present:
Noah turned to his right and sighed when he saw the empty spot on the bed.
The loneliness was always reduced by opening this very box, only to unlock new memories for him and had him drowning in more loneliness.
With a sigh, he continued to play with the rings.
He couldn't believe out of all the memories he could choose, it had to be that one.
Remembering this morning's outfit and how nicely it suited her body and it highlighted all her beautiful charms, he chuckled.
"I would love to remove every piece at this very moment."
"..."
He went completely silent at his own words.
It was too ridiculous.
I don't care if she's ina hospital or not. What's the point when he will see me off as soon as she sees me?
Yes, that just him trying to convince himself.
He places the rings back on their box and he sat up, holding himself up by placing both his palms on the bed.
Thinking about his actions carefully he crafted out his plan.
Oh, he had lots of ideas.
But they weren't good ones. He needed new ones, something that could help him fix their drifted relationship. Something that could connect them again without hurting or arguing with each other. A solution that would help heal the wounds of the past.
But would he find it and execute it? The real question is, is he willing to risk it all again?
He knew very well he could not handle one more blow. His heart was about to break once more. Her push and pull game, hurt like someone had rubbed salt on his fresh wound.
He wanted a serious answer from her.
If she wanted him, he would fight for her.
If she wanted nothing to do with him he would still fight for her.
And if she's too afraid of whatever it is that happened in the past he would haunt, kill it and show her that he's there for her.
Was he a coward? No. Would he let her carry all that pain by herself? No. Would he find out what truly happened in the past? Yes, most definitely.
Noah leaned back down on the bed. He was worried about her health but he trusted his sister.
He would give Adriana her space and then he would come to her, so fast she would not have the chance to escape.
This was his plan, and it was easy for him to accept that he never stop wanting her.
When she was dead it was a different kind of feeling, regret, remorse, fear and emptiness.
But now, knowing she was alive and breathing he couldn't let her slip through his fingers.
He would be a total idiot if he did.
Unfortunately for him, things just had to go anything but the way he planned.
What she did next had shaken every bone in his body.
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lizmorgan
lizmorgan Dang, I only meant to edit not make the chapters longer.
My bad, I thought you guys might want today's extra chapter lengthier so I left it that way.
(Yes, I somehow pulled out time from my finals to write this lol)
Stay safe~
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