บท 185: It's All Luck, What Can I Say?
Many chapters ago the bias that art has towards the prettiest, the deepest, the most complex and ethically grayest was mentioned. Perhaps there will eventually be a novel written of Sylvia Haeger. Here is the potential theme for each year:
Year 1: I want to get laid.
Year 2: I really want to get laid.
Year 3: I got laid.
Year 4: I'm getting laid.
It would be a premium candidate to analyze using Kurt Vonnegut's "woman in hole" monomyth. Every story follows this simple structure: a woman gets in to a hole and hopefully she gets out of it.
And it was Sylvia's girlfriend that Mia had requested not be there, this week, when she called Sylvia up to her office.
"Yuruko is resigning from the Royal Four to focus on her schoolwork, and I thought you would be the best replacement."
Sylvia grinned. "You're asking me to be in your squad?"
Mia smiled and nodded.
"…shit, yeah. That - that sounds awesome, yeah." Having been above Yuruko's rank last year, Sylvia had felt a bit overlooked, but reasoned that Mia knew better than she did. "I'd love to, yeah."
"Good. I'll let the others know, and we'll train together later tonight."
To her relief, she found that Sylvia replaced Yuruko well, as their Revenants were similar in some ways - Sylvia's Magma arm stored three objects to recreate at any time, and could change anything between solid & liquid & gas.
Sylvia adjusted to her well as a leader, for she had subtly thought of her as one for years. Whenever students would talk about Mia, it was usually with the assumption that she would one day be Urasaria's president -- both student & faculty. She was looked at a little like those perpetually annoying valedictorians, the ones with perfect grades, a perfect wife & a perfect family.
That Mia had none of these gave her an element of authenticity, and so her success instead made her likable.
It was a philosophy of life foreign to Sylvia, for she had always felt life was the accumulation of simple pleasures. She was not really caught up in the pace of life some students seemed to be, despite the extremity she displayed in food & training, a sort of excess like the one Mia noticed in Matoi & Samuel. She would often turn whole chickens into liquid using Magma and drank them. Some she even cooked beforehand.
She found that herself and Samuel had much in common in their regard. Her opinions on him were largely determined by her mixed feelings towards Grant, who she hadn't spoken to in a while. Grant had a propensity to chase after short pleasure to the detriment over anything else, yes, but he was attractive and fit and mostly respectful. In her early years at Urasaria he had helped her with her anxiety around women; without him her current relationship would likely not be possible.
Mia's only complaint was dealing with Maria, Sylvia's girlfriend.
"…hello." said Mia, opening her mansion door for Maria & Sylvia. "Do you need something?"
"Uh, she wanted to ask a few questions." said Sylvia, scratching her neck.
Mia noticed Maria didn't let her open the door all the way before barging inside, but no matter. Maria came to the center of her living room, then turned with a frown. "Doesn't your squadron live with you? I thought we were moving in this weekend."
"They did for a short time, but not anymore, no." said Mia.
Maria gave the place a look around. Mia suspected Sylvia had told her that already, but Maria looked back at Sylvia. "I wish you had tried a bit harder last year. This could have been your mansion."
"Sure, but three-star housing is pretty good. Right, Mia?" said Sylvia.
"It's not enough for us, Sylvia." said Maria.
Mia held her hand over her mouth so only Sylvia could see her momentary frown.
"You know, it was a little surprising that you chose to spring this on Sylvia." said Maria. "Why?"
"It's fine." Sylvia smiled.
"Someone else needed to leave, and I needed a replacement." said Mia evenly.
"Why did they need to leave?" said Maria.
"C'mon, it was something personal with Yuruko." said Sylvia.
Maria nodded. "Fine. And I know you're married, and Miasma is seeing someone. What about the... Boar?"
"Samuel?" said Mia.
"Samuel, yes. Is he…?" She waved her hand in a circle.
Mia blinked. "I don't know what this-" - she waved her hand in a circle - "-means."
"I'm asking if he's gay."
"I don't know." said Mia, thinking by now she honestly should.
"Well, if he is straight, I hope he isn't like that mentor you had." said Maria to Sylvia.
"Hey, that's my friend you're talking about. Grant's a good guy. He's not like the others."
"Oh, Christ, Sylvia, yes he is: he's a womanizer. You told me all about that time some poor woman showed up to the gates asking him for abortion money. Don't you think it's time you grew past someone like him?"
Sylvia's mouth stiffened, but she just shrugged her shoulders. "Training at 5:30, right, Mia?"
"Yes."
Maria frowned as she looked between them, and how beautiful Mia was. She wished that Mia's face were as ugly as her own.
But this is how dating Maria had often been lately, these application of rules kept only in a single mind.
In their worst arguments, Maria would remind Sylvia of what she had given up to be with her: what lesbians had made passes at her and those she had to decline. During these arguments, Sylvia was sometimes brought to anger enough that she would simmer in her own fantasies of violence against Maria -- to smack her upside the head in the middle of her endless bitching. She felt that the instability of their relationship could potentially be controlled via physical means. She had never been intelligent in matters human, but she believed physical violence was not so bad in comparison to the mental lashes Maria exacted upon her.
But she never did so. It was wrong, and she would feel even more like shit afterwards, not for harming Maria, but because there were things from her childhood that still powerfully lingered over her. It had been a while since she could recall what exactly had made her fall in love with Maria, anyway. Perhaps her loneliness had made her imbue into Maria what was not there.
It was tempting now to allow her mind to reach backwards into time.
During the next week, Mia received a call from the government saying they were reviewing the tapes, and found it gratefully easy to pop Daigo's bubble in her mind, unlike the way the remnants of a boil sinks back in to a stew.
That January, she spent the most time with Sylvia out of her three, and though she never heard her complain about Maria, Sylvia's energy always dimmed whenever her phone vibrated. It became clear to Mia that Maria had never been with anyone that could give her no for an answer - certainly Sylvia didn't. Before they'd set out on this contract, Maria had barged in to her office demanding to be allowed along, and if Sylvia hadn't talked her down from such foolishness, Mia would've chewed her up on one side & back down the other.
Lately, Mia realized she was growing, or already had, a need to fix her friends' problems now that she'd wrung out all of her own. She still asked after Yuruko via Serena, took over solving student disputes from Rochelle, and tried to make herself available to anyone she knew.
Right now, her mind was focused on the purple-haired trouble.
Sylvia & her rushed up to the abandoned warehouse's doors.
"Ready?" said Mia. Sylvia nodded, and in the next instant -
- a flash of purple disintegrated the doors, and in to the warehouse swept the two; six men were gathered at the center, one passing over a briefcase and dropping it as he caught sight of the two running towards them. Six shots entered Mia's chest -
- but didn't even slow her as she kept her run going; at her side, Sylvia threw her right arm out -
" - Magma - Solid!" she shouted, right arm growing red & splitting open like a maw, and in the next instant -
- a storm of bullets erupted out of it that shredded five men in half & left one staggering back with a chest full of holes, shelves flanking the two as they kept their rush going with 50ft separating them from their target. One man leapt out from behind a shelf and a jet of acid shot through his skull before he could raise his steel pipe, last man standing up ahead starting to run away.
"Guess that's the host." chimed Sylvia, relevantly.
The two passed by the briefcase as Mia saw his skin hardening, and in the next instant -
- eight blue tentacles burst out of the briefcase and tried to grab her -
- but a coat of water let her slip out of its grip, no speed lost as she kept her pace high. She glanced back and noticed there wasn't any liquid on the floor as they ran out of the warehouse, rest of the pier up ahead with shipping containers & their fleeing foe 100ft ahead. Three shipping containers were launched towards them -
- but Magma's tongue burst out of its maw & turned them in to gas as it touched them, sight clearing just in time to see their foe leaping in to the water 50ft up ahead. Mia rushed up to the water's edge and swept her electrical plans down -
- but sighed as she glanced left & saw a group of swimmers nearby.
"Water Revenant." chimed Sylvia, relevantly. "Always fun. Gotta switch out."
Mia nodded, watching Sylvia pull a one-inch Xenocyclin bullet off her belt and feed it to Magma. The recoil could still shatter her shoulder in a few shots. No time to waste, the two leaped in to the water -
- and a tri-swarm raid gave them air as they kept their eyes forward, minefield of leathery egg pouches polluting the ocean ahead, and in the next instant -
- eight blue tentacles burst out of the wall behind them -
- but a swift jet of Worldwide-water blasted the two down to avoid it, tentacles only catching water above.
'Worldwide's water is colder than that.' thought Mia; an ice scarab exploded in her hand -
- and she heard Sylvia sighing beside as it only froze for a microsecond. Above, the tentacles swung down as Mia's sword formed -
- and a whirl of unnatural metal slashed them apart & sent their entrails spinning in to the minefield of eggs; one blue chunk touched one pouch 20ft ahead -
- which exploded in a cloud of eels, and an unseen force pulled the two forward; Sylvia raised Magma's arm as the eels looked towards them, and a jet of acid went through their mouths & out the other end -
- but the two stifled their underwater sighs as they saw it curve in to another egg pouch, and another explosion brought another unseen force that pulled them in to another set of eels -
- just in time for Magma's arm to give them seconds, next jet of acid curving in to an egg pouch twenty feet below and pulling them down. Mia let Sylvia handle the next few as she glanced down, seeing another set of eggs floating up from the ocean's floor, and in the next instant -
- eight blue tentacles burst out of it and started spinning, forming a whirlpool fast; Mia grabbed Sylvia tight as the pressure forced them down, light lessening by the second as another set of tentacles appeared to greet them below -
- but only received a set of purple-coated women that disintegrated right through it without a single ash left, more whirlpools yanking them down until they were near the lightless bottom. Mia kept a tight grip on Sylvia's shoulder so she didn't lose her place, eyes filling with darkness. One fire scarab exploded to let there be light -
- and Mia sighed as the water rushed in to fill the hole instantly. She felt Sylvia tap her shoulder and offer Magma's maw to her, and as she gave it a fire scarab for a snack -
- a solid purple cube came out of it that lit up the scene 100ft ahead, their shark-skinned foe swimming away with eight black tentacles bursting out of his back, another minefield of leathery egg pouches separating them & he.
Sylvia realized his Revenant was a mutual disadvantage. As one floated by her, she smashed it with her flesh fist -
- and six eels burst out of it that latched on to her skin, sucking her blood but taking some water with it; Mia sliced them off, and as a cloud of scarabs disintegrated one egg ahead -
- more water rushed in to fill the sudden hole, pulling another mermaid's purse in to range for disintegration -
- and another, and another dozen, eels sucking up the water & pulling the two & one closer together until they were fifty feet apart, and as eight blue tentacles burst out of a mermaid's purse towards Mia -
- the next scene was instant. A line of fire scarabs disintegrated a line between them & their foe as Sylvia aimed Magma's arm -
- and a Xenocyclin round came out of it that blasted his heart out of his chest & sent it swimming in to the depths, recoil sending a crack through Magma's maw as the two knew that he was dead before his corpse started to bloat, mermaid's purse & tentacles disappearing.
Mia smiled and called up the others once they were on land again. Sylvia asked if they could stop to eat before their hotel and Serena & Samuel met up with them at the diner. Over the phone, Mia had noticed even Samuel's tone carried a whiff of disgust and decided not to ask how Serena had killed.
"First contract as part of the Royal Four down, right?" chimed Sylvia as the four sat down. "You guys come out okay?"
Serena grinned and nodded. Samuel didn't look very hungry now.
"Sure did." said Serena, pulling her cup out & filling it with milk. She sipped it while looking at Samuel, her eyebrows raising over the rim.
A waitress came over. "Hi, have you decided what you'll be having?"
"What are the Chunky Monkey Pancakes?" said Sylvia, tapping her menu.
"It's five pancakes, and we make them in the shape of a monkey's face with bananas and chocolate chips on top."
"Cool. Uh, three of those, then."
"Are you sure?"
Sylvia nodded. "I know what I'm about."
The rest placed their orders. Once they were done, Serena saw an androgynous woman get up from her table & come over to her.
"Hi, I-I couldn't help but notice you, and - you're Serena, right? Miasma?" Her voice was not like Serena's. "W-Wow, you're even prettier in p-person. Um, is it okay if I get a picture with you?"
"Um, sure."
Serena winced as she stood up, took the picture, and the woman left. She felt a tension in her skin as she sat back down, and noticed Mia smiling at her. It did not comfort her; whenever Mia saw a masculine transgender woman, Serena worried she was not really seeing the individual but rather retroactively pasting her miens upon Serena's.
Yet there were rare moments when a desire for solidarity with other transgender people would take hold of Serena, but she did not really understand how she could do so, and many times she would deny it; she would feel it sometimes and then forget it. She rather wished that she could wave her hand over them and blot them out.
So this woman was not really a woman to Serena: she was male. She moved about and thought of the world in ways stained by her male sex and socialization. From a woman her compliment would not have been unusual, but it became creepy to Serena now. Even her chin seemed to make obvious to any casual woman that she was not like them, and they would notice it and instinctually they would distrust her.
Yet at these thoughts Serena frowned, and she felt guilty over them afterwards. It seemed impossible that she could truly believe that, and she was not really sure where it had come from. But it was typical of her reactions to transgender women now; every time she was forced into contact with them they seemed to surface hard.
Their food came and Sylvia's phone vibrated before she got a bite in. She winced as she took it. "Ugh, sorry. Gotta go outside for a sec."
Mia nodded as Sylvia left, watching her call someone through the glass. These nightly arguments with Maria never seemed to affect their relationship - they simply washed into the next. Judging by her rank Maria spent more time on them than she did hunting. Of late, Mia had noticed that the proportion of Maria's control over Sylvia increased with the frivolity of their arguments; that Sylvia was further alienated from the Royal Four the more absurd Maria's fears became.
"…really should talk with her." said Samuel and Mia grimaced.
"…soon, yes. We'll be heading back tomorrow, and…" She sighed. "…I'll talk to her before we leave."
She watched Sylvia sigh and turn away, still on her phone. It pained her to see a woman like Sylvia tied to Maria; Sylvia had no shortage of admirers, most of them honorable as far as lesbians like that could be. She doubted any of *them* would go through Sylvia's tablet without her permission.
"…um, I gotta - Yuruko." said Serena and got up.
She watched Serena walk out and sit on a bench away from Sylvia, and smiling as she called Yuruko. Serena, who Mia knew hardly had any interest in dating before Urasaria, was with probably the only other woman in the world who played as many videogames as she did, yet Sylvia had spent years trying to attract a woman.
++++++
Samuel closed up his bag of clothes and handed it to Serena the next morning. "Should be everything."
Sylvia looked up from her bag as she shoved another tanktop in to it. "Uh, should I separate them by lights and darks?"
"Do you care if they bleed?"
"Nope."
It always perplexed Mia how she was the only one who did. Serena took Sylvia's bag, Blackburn & Worldwide washing, scenting and drying inside in seconds. "All good."
"All ready to go?" said Sylvia.
"Er, Serena and Samuel - go ahead. Sylvia, I'd like to... talk to about something." The others left and Mia sat down. "As your friend."
Sylvia nervously laughed as she sat across. "Uh, did I do something wrong?"
"No, it isn't that. I've just noticed recently that, you and Maria... and specifically, Maria, she..."
"...oh." mumbled Sylvia. "You've noticed that too, huh?"
Mia nodded. "The way she treats you?"
"Yeah, she's... I mean, there's a lot of stuff she pulls that you don't see. She doesn't like me hanging around other students. Or single ones, anyway. Even you, she's hesitant to pretty high degree."
Mia frowned. "Sylvia, you deserve better than that."
"I know, Mia. I know. But we've been together for two years, and you know how her mentor Jeanne died around the time we started talking, and... she didn't used to be like this. I'm just waiting for that to come back. But y'know, I try to understand where she's coming from. She's never been in a relationship before, she's scared, and from what she's said about her mom... I just don't think anyone ever taught her any differently."
"Sylvia, why do you feel obligated to understand someone who's abusing you? Even if she is your girlfriend, you don't owe her understanding."
"Well, I guess because I chose to put her in to my life. There's something to that, isn't there?"
But she could not think of what that was.
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RowPin
RowPin I don't remember if Magma was right arm or left arm, actually.
And I do want to make this point: Sylvia's fantasies of hitting Maria do not ever mean she would want to batter her partner in a healthy relationship. She feels trapped and doesn't know how to deal with it healthily.
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