"That's impossible… You're pulling my leg, right? That's just some weird crappy plot to a 3rd rate creepypasta story on the web or something, right? Why would someone want me dead?"
"Who knows? Though I'm really not messing with you this time. Maybe it's a suitor of one of your psycho ex-girlfriends who is jealous of you. Perhaps it could even be one of those very same psychotic ex-girlfriends behind it. Or maybe it's for the purpose of silencing you for certain unspeakable reasons."
"Then, the reason I fell into a coma?"
"It could easily be a failed attempt on your life."
"Are you really telling the truth right now?"
"You don't believe me?"
"It's hard to swallow."
"Here."
She handed her phone to me, there was a certain page on the dark web pulled up.
There was a picture of me along with a profile containing various bits and pieces of information related to me. For my location, it was listed as; revealed only to those who are given the rights to the contract. Just like she said, the bounty listed was $2,000,000. The conditions for the bounty were, wanted dead or alive, but the contractee wanted to see the body in person if dead.
"Why? I don't understand. What about me would warrant a $2,000,000 bounty? Actually, can I turn myself in, play dead, and collect the reward?"
"Of course you can't."
"Tch. Such a shame."
"Mr. Genovese, did you offend anyone recently?"
"When exactly was the bounty posted?"
"There is no post date. The only thing I can attest to is that I only discovered it on the day I went to your place before you collapsed. I didn't mention it back then for obvious reasons, but one of my reasons to check up on you was because of that bounty as well."
"You didn't poison me and collect on the bounty by faking my death did you?"
"You're actually doubting me?"
"I could totally see you doing it for the money."
She averted her gaze and cleared her throat, "Ehem. I did no such thing. That's too despicable."
"Can you look me in the eyes and say that?"
"Let's hurry up and finish the presentation. We're running out of time."
"Val…"
"What is it?"
"Who… who are you really?"
"Who am I? What do you mean?"
"For a long time now it's been weighing on my mind. I've been trying to refute the idea that's stemmed in my head because of the absurdity of it all, but it's getting harder and harder to do so. There are just far too many similarities for me to continue writing them all off as just coincidences."
"Oh? Is that so?"
Rather than showing any sort of caution, she looked like she anticipated what I was about to say.
Rose Valentina.
A name that I was all too familiar with. That was the name my second ex-girlfriend went by.
"An average run-of-the-mill CEO responsible for a normal business surely wouldn't know where to find ridiculous bounties like this. Would I be incorrect to assume that?"
"No, you wouldn't be incorrect."
"The real reason you're so intimate with me… and why everything feels natural between us..."
She smiled, clearly eager to hear what I had to say.
Stop. Just stop at this. I don't need to say it.
"I don't know why I never questioned it, but Rose… Val… is it just a coincidence that her alias contains part of your first and last name?"
"Whoever could you be referring to?"
I can still keep lying to myself if I stop here.
"Stop playing dumb. Did you ever go by the name Rose Valentina?"
"You mean your second ex-girlfriend? Did I? I can't quite remember, but I've seen a picture of her before, don't we look completely different? What makes you think we're the same person?"
"Your appearance may be different, but your body types are very similar. Your hair and facial structure may not be identical in the slightest; however, that could have been disguised by a mask, extensive makeup, and hair dye."
What am I saying right now? I've clearly lost my mind. It can't be true. The most damning evidence I have in mind is far too preposterous.
"That's pretty weak evidence to draw such a conclusion from. Don't you have anything more concrete to base this hypothesis of yours on?"
"There are definitely other things, but the most damning thing is that the way you made out with me just now reminded me of exactly how my second ex made out with me in the past."
"Pfft hahaha! That's the most damning evidence? You're going to make me cry from laughter, Mr. Genovese, or should I call you sweetheart?"
"Sweetheart… you're really..." That was exactly how she referred to me back then.
"It took you long enough. I thought for certain you'd figure it out and call me out on it when I wore my old clothes from back then, but you just glossed over it. I also really thought you'd catch on when we talked about your second ex before."
I was on edge when I heard her confirmation, but it wasn't nearly as bad as the time Adele made her sudden appearance out of nowhere without any forewarning. I did feel a sense of betrayal from my second ex back then, I was naturally scared of her to a certain degree, but she never really directly did anything too terrible to me aside from using me. I did consider her to be a psychopath when I discovered she was a hired killer, but after the things I've seen in my relationships after her, she was actually the most normal and down to earth of the five.
It definitely hurt when I discovered she'd lied to me; but at the same time, it was thanks to her that I was able to stand back up on my own two feet after my relationship with Adele.
"It's always weighed on my mind since you disappeared out of nowhere, but… did I really mean anything to you back then?"
"Do you want the truth or a lie, Dio?"
"The truth of course."
"Haaah, getting me to genuinely say something embarrassing like this, you're really the first. Well… in all honesty… I did fall madly in love with you. After I completed that contract, I even cut all ties with my family and started a business in hopes our paths would cross in a more natural way one day. I felt embarrassed to just openly come up to you and say, 'hey I'm your ex-girlfriend who you consider a psychopath, please go out with me.' Would you have considered it if I approached you like that?"
"Absolutely not, I would have just thought you were a mental patient."
"Haha. Right? I would too."
"Then… you're really not another psychopath?"
"I have feelings too you know. Do you really think I enjoyed taking on those contracts? It's just... with my family's line of business, and my talents, that was the direction my skill set was developed towards."
"No wonder you're such a stiffler when it comes to docking people's paychecks to the point of being criminal."
The volume 1 prequel for MPGG, "There’s No Way My Girlfriend’s a Psychopath," is now live and available for purchase through Amazon. Also available through Kindle Unlimited.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08CXM3XZY