บท 45: Finding Home
Rylee drove in silence, the wooden train sitting on the seat beside her. She hated the complex emotions she was feeling after facing Blake. Why was it still possible for him to hurt her like this? She wanted to be a stronger person but in the end, she could not pretend her heart didn't ache.
Instead of heading home, Rylee found herself parked outside Evan's apartment. Before she could even climb out, he found her, and helped her unload the crutches and bring the train inside. Sitting in the living room, he wrapped her up in a hug and kissed her forehead.
"If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to," he explained.
Rylee sighed and pressed her face against his chest. She let the smell of his shirt fill her nose, enjoying the scent that was growing familiar to her now. He was becoming her safety, and it felt like here she could just be herself. It gave her the courage to explain what happened.
"I ran into Blake," she explained, finally pulling away. "He had something Grandpa left for me, so I went to pick it up. I thought I would be fine seeing that house again, but it still messed with my head. There were pictures of the woman..."
"The one he cheated on you with," Evan continued when she trailed off.
"How is that supposed to make me feel?" Rylee whispered. "When someone replaces you, you can't help wondering what was wrong about you to be so forgettable? Why was it so easy for him to push me aside?"
Evan sighed and moved to look in her eyes. He had a gentle expression and kissed her nose, then her forehead, before finally kissing her lips. "There's a saying: don't question a blind mans lack of sight. You are far more valuable than he could ever see, and he was an idiot to let you go."
Rylee pulled herself tighter into Evan's arms, almost forgetting her injured side. She missed feeling protected like this. Evan ran a hand through her hair and didn't fight her need for affection, but eventually his posture seemed to change.
"Rylee?" He sounded surprisingly hesitant this time. She looked up, noticing the bothered expression he had.
"What's wrong?"
"Do you still care about him?"
As painful as the question was for both of them, Rylee knew it was justified. Evan didn't strike her as the jealous type, but she could see the way his brow furrowed, and feel the unusually tight way he held her hand now. She shook her head no, and made sure he was facing her before continuing. "I don't care about him, but I miss my best friend.
"Back then, we weren't a couple. We played video games and read comic books. We had fun together. He was the one who I stayed up late laughing with, and talked to when I was upset.
"I miss the memories, not the person. I miss my dog, and I miss that life. Yes, we got engaged, but the part that hurt wasn't that we split up, it was that it happened in a way that could never be repaired.
"Imagine, having one person by your side through everything, only to walk away and leave you alone."
Evan sighed, brushing his fingers along her cheek, "I want to make you happy, Ry, but I worry I will be able to compare to that."
Rylee smiled, and kissed his cheek, laying her head against his shoulder so she was tucked under his chin. "You don't need to try. This relationship is not a replacement to me. It's something new, something better. We have our own experiences and memories to create now. I love you because of your own wonderful personality and actions."
She felt Evan relax at her words. After sitting in silence, she found herself seeking his mouth, greedily kissing him. Their contact was tender, affectionate. It made her more excited for their upcoming event together.
"Can I...stay here tonight's?" Rylee asked cautiously.
Evan smiled, "Of course. Do we need to get Bandit?"
Rylee considered it before shaking her head. "Not today. But I'd like to bring him by this week. It will take time for him to feel comfortable in a new place." There was an unspoken understanding in those words. Rylee wasn't rushing, but little by little, this apartment was feeling like home. First her hat, then grandpa's train, she was finding ways to be near him and didn't intend to give up soon.
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