บท 19: 19 A Rather Lame Invitation

I woke up to the sounds of "Little Bitty" by Alan Jackson. Then I woke up the rest of the way. How the heck did that cross worlds? Unless the last outbreak was only a couple decades ago? I needed answers!

I walked out of the house and stopped. Actually, everyone stopped and turned to look at me. They were all seated at long tables set up around the soup pot, with steaming bowls set before each diner.

I walked to two faces I recognized, Robin and her father. I thought that perhaps my saving of her life would earn me brownie points, but they shrank away from me in fear. Is there no good deed that goes unpunished? Oh right. Everyone was dreaming then. I would be surprised if any had a clear recollection of what happened.

I suppose I should speak to them then. "Good townsfolk," I started, making sure I was running a mental translation through their minds. "Of whatever town this is. Do not fear, for I am the Hero sent to rescue this land from the monstrous scourge which encroaches upon it. Rejoice, for I have slain and absorbed the horde that lay siege to your walls and devastated your land! No longer do you have to plead for salvation from the slavering jaws, tentacles, and other miscellaneous appendages that sought to claim your lives. Instead be at peace, for the enemy darkens your doorstep no more! All thanks to me, the Hero! Do not fear that I will retaliate for your onslaught last night, for I know that you were all fast asleep, only interacting with reality in your dreams."

That should reassure those that can remember any of last night, as well as raise my standing. Yes, nothing more reassuring than being told you were doing possibly suicidal actions in your sleep... Maybe I should have broken the news of their somnambulance differently.

There was a smattering of cheers, then an awkward silence. Then an old man got up. He was the distinguished kind of old rather than the decrepit kind.

"While we appreciate what you've done for us, you need to leave. Our village can't be the only one beset by demons, and if you're the Hero, go and rescue them!"

I gave up. No more being Mr. Nice Guy. I grabbed him and forcefully entered his mind, battering aside his flimsy mental defenses while I did a deep scan on his memories. I was able to find out that the Hero sword was in a stone two miles away in the forest, and that he'd cheated on his wife with the blacksmith's daughter. Woah. TMI.

I was able to find out two more things before his mind faded into the muddle of unconsciousness. First, the prevailing opinions regarding the demons and otherworldly Heroes were to regard them as a cycle of nature. While they could be interfered with, it was much smarter and safer to batten down the hatches and keep out of the way of both disasters. Even the Hero was considered a disaster due to how the world's laws seemed to spawn new adventures and damsels in distress wherever he went. Usually, by the time his journey to defeat the demonic incursion was over, he'd assembled a harem taken from the daughters and sisters from everywhere he went that joined him out of gratitude or a random falling in love.

I looked for Robin and noticed that she was looking at me with worship and hope from only three feet away. I didn't have a girlfriend in my old world, but I'm pretty sure that pretty girls don't just fall in love with you because you saved their life in a dream. Weirdly, I also felt a need to have her along. It was definitely a Law of the World that the Hero must collect a harem from girls he meets under trying circumstances. If it had been some sort of psychic influence, I or System would have detected it.

The second thing I found out was that giant beasts had been spotted heading east north of town. They were so big that they were visible miles away on the village walls. I guess I found my next targets.

I walked over to Robin, noticing how pretty she was, with her short, elegantly muscular body, slim curves that were still quite inviting, and a sweet, adorable face. "Would you like to be part of my quest?" There were groans and glares from the townsfolk around me. I ignored them.

Robin looked down, shame and sadness echoing through her mind. "I want to, but cannot. Lately, my health has been suffering; whenever I become too active, I feel faint and suffer from incredible pain in my chest."

I smiled. Mentally reaching out to her, I showed her what I did last night to her, heart attack and all. "No worries. I've already fixed that for you. You will probably relapse in ten years, however, unless I redo my flesh magic, or we enhance your body..."

I stopped when I realized that we now had a use for the Hero sword! "Come with me, and you will be helping to put down the demons through your own power."

Tears were streaming down her face. I think they were happy tears, based off of the turbulent emotions of shock, gratitude, and confusion. She grabbed my hand and led me from the tables to her house.