บท 62: Biggest Fear
Next few days, Hermione mostly spent her time in Chris's room. She was doing homework, after finishing her own, she even did half of Chris's. Chris understood she was trying not to think about Harry and Ron who were not talking to her. Harry talked a little when he saw her but Ron almost dragged Harry away. Hermione was hurt, Chris consoled her few times, but in vain.
After the new year, everyone returned to Hogwarts. Chris told Ginny everything that happened during the break, to Chris's surprise Ginny took everything without any sign of fear or shock, she was just worried about Harry, Ron and Hermione.
Lessons started again the next day. At dinner, Hermione joined Chris, Colin and Ginny.
"Still not talking to you?" Chris asked Hermione.
Hermione just shook her head and started eating.
"It's fine Hermione, you can hang out with us if you want," Ginny said smiling. "I know Ron can act very stupid sometimes."
Hermione smiled back. Ron and Harry came and sat a little far on the table. Hermione looked away. Chris and Ginny exchanged worried looks.
"Chris!" Harry called suddenly.
"Yeah."
Harry hadn't talked much with her in the last few days so Chris looked surprised.
"Professor Lupin said to inform you, eight o'clock on Thursday evening, The History of Magic classroom," Harry said simply.
Chris nodded, "Ok. Thanks."
"What's on Thursday?" Colin asked Chris.
"Oh! I'm taking an extra class from Professor Lupin." Chris answered.
"What extra class?" Ginny asked, raising her eyebrows.
"A spell to fight Dementors," Chris said while eating.
Colin and Ginny looked at each other but didn't say anything.
At eight o'clock on Thursday evening, Chris left Gryffindor Tower for the History of Magic classroom, on the way she met Harry. It was dark and empty when they arrived, but she lit the lamps with her wand and had waited only five minutes when Professor Lupin turned up, carrying a large packing case, which he heaved onto Professor Binns' desk.
"What's that?" said Chris.
"Another Boggart," said Lupin, stripping off his cloak. "I've been combing the castle ever since Tuesday, and very luckily, I found this one lurking inside Mr Filch's filing cabinet. It's the nearest we'll get to a real Dementor. The Boggart will turn into a Dementor when he sees Harry, so we'll be able to practise on him. Chris, you can practice on him too, just don't come in front of Harry or it'll take a look like your biggest fear. I can store him in my office when we're not using him; there's a cupboard under my desk he'll like."
"OK," Harry and Chris said together.
"So," Professor Lupin had taken out his own wand and indicated that they should do the same. "The spell I am going to try and teach you is highly advanced magic, well beyond Ordinary Wizarding Level. It is called the Patronus Charm."
"How does it work?" said Harry nervously.
"Well, when it works correctly, it conjures up a Patronus," said Lupin, "which is a kind of Anti-Dementor — a guardian which acts as a shield between you and the Dementor."
Professor Lupin continued, "The Patronus is a kind of positive force, a projection of the very things that the Dementor feeds upon — hope, happiness, the desire to survive — but it cannot feel despair, as real humans can, so the Dementors can't hurt it. But I must warn you, both, that the Charm might be too advanced for you. Many qualified wizards have difficulty with it."
"What does a Patronus look like?" Chris asked curiously.
"Each one is unique to the wizard who conjures it."
"And how do you conjure it?" Harry asked next.
"With an incantation, which will work only if you are concentrating, with all your might, on a single, very happy memory."
A happy memory. That's why Dames said the Dementors will recognize it because I'll create it with my happy memory — and because the power of happiness — a Patronus is too much for Dementors, Chris thought.
"The incantation is this —" Lupin cleared his throat, "expecto patronum!"
"Expecto patronum," Harry and Chris repeated.
"Concentrating hard on your happy memory?"
"Oh – yeah –" said Harry.
Chris was still searching a happy memory inside her. She remembered her time with her dad and whispered, "Expecto Patronum."
Something whooshed suddenly out of the end of his wand; it looked like a wisp of silvery gas.
"Very good Christina. Concentrate hard." Lupin said and Chris nodded.
Then something happened in Harry's wand as well.
"Did you see that?" said Harry excitedly. "Something happened!"
"Very good," said Lupin, smiling. "Right then — ready to try it on a Dementor?"
"Yes," Harry said, gripping his wand very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom.
Chris just nodded and stood a little far from Harry, gripping her wand as well. The Dementors didn't affect her, so she just has to cast it if Harry fails. Lupin grasped the lid of the packing case and pulled.
A Dementor rose slowly from the box, its hooded face turned towards Harry, one glistening, scabbed hand gripping its cloak. The lamps around the classroom flickered and went out. The Dementor stepped from the box and started to sweep silently towards Harry, drawing a deep, rattling breath.
"Expecto patronum!" Harry yelled. "Expecto patronum! Expecto —"
Harry started to fall, Chris thought hard on happy memories with her dad and her friends.
"Expecto Patronum." She yelled and a huge, silver shadow came bursting out of the end of her wand, to hover in front of the Dementor.
"Riddikulus!" roared Lupin, springing forwards. The boggart vanished inside the box. Lupin was looking at Chris very surprised. "Well done, Christina. I guessed you'll do it quickly. You're really talented." Lupin smiled.
Chris smiled back and ran towards Harry, "Harry! Harry!" She called, shaking him a little.
Harry jerked back to life.
"Sorry," he muttered, sitting up and feeling cold sweat trickling down behind his glasses.
"Are you all right?" said Lupin.
"Yes —" Harry pulled himself up on one of the desks and leant against it.
"Here," Lupin handed him a Chocolate Frog. "Eat this before we try again. I didn't expect you to do it the first time. In fact, I would have been astounded if you had." Lupin gave a side glance towards Chris.
"It's getting worse," Harry muttered, biting the Frog's head off. "I could hear her louder that time — and him — Voldemort .."
Lupin looked paler than usual.
"Harry, if you don't want to continue, I will more than understand —"
"I do!" said Harry fiercely, stuffing the rest of the Chocolate Frog into his mouth. "I've got to! What if the Dementors turn up at our match against Slytherin? I can't afford to fall off again. If we lose this game we've lost the Quidditch Cup!"
"They'll not Harry. Dumbledore is still very angry about last time. He'll not let them in." Chris said.
"But what if they come, Chris? Dumbledore forbids them before but they did come, didn't they?" Harry said.
"Last time they came because —" Chris stopped, Lupin and Harry both looked at her. "Fine. Do it."
"All right then —" said Lupin. "You might want to select another memory, a happy memory, I mean, to concentrate on — that one doesn't seem to have been strong enough —"
Harry gripped his wand tightly again and took up his position in the middle of the classroom.
"Ready?" said Lupin, gripping the box lid.
"Ready," said Harry.
"Go!" said Lupin, pulling off the lid. The room went icily cold and dark once more. The Dementor glided forwards, drawing its rattly breath; one rotting hand was extending towards Harry —
"Expecto patronum!" Harry yelled. "Expecto patronum!"
Chris realized it's still not working for Harry and she came between the Dementor and Harry holding her wand. Little thing she forgot that it was a boggart, as soon as she came in front of Harry.
Crack!
The Dementor started to change into a woman. A woman with same deep brown hair like her but her face had no kindness like Chris, she looked disgusted about something.
Chris froze looking at her.
The woman started to speak, "How dare you to do that? You're just like your father hopeless. That's it I'm not taking you with me."
There was another voice, the voice of a little girl, "Please Mumma, Please — Don't leave me — Don't go. Don't leave me and Dad. I promise I'll be a good girl." She was sobbing so badly that she couldn't even breath.
"No. You can't be a good girl. You can't be a good daughter. You don't deserve to be loved. I'm ashamed of you. I'm ashamed that I'm your mother."
The little girl cried more loudly.
Professor Lupin came forward, Then the Woman turned into a silvery-white orb hanging in the air in front of Lupin, who said, "Riddikulus!" almost lazily.
Crack! Professor Lupin locked it in the box again.
Chris was still standing there, holding her wand straight, like a statue. Harry and Lupin looked at her. Then Harry went towards her and put an arm around her shoulder. Chris jerked back to reality. She looked at Harry and then Lupin, she blinked back her tears and looked down.
"Sorry." She whispered.
"It's alright. I should've trained you first for the boggart." Lupin said.
"No. You said, not to come in front of Harry. I forgot." Chris said quietly. "You ok, Harry?"
"Yeah — You?" Harry said looking surprised.
"Yeah," Chris said looking down. "I was seven when this happened. I never thought it's my biggest fear."
Harry hugged Chris by the shoulder.
"I'm fine," Chris whispered.
"I heard my dad," Harry mumbled. "That's the first time I've ever heard him — he tried to take on Voldemort himself, to give my mum time to run for it —"
Chris suddenly realised that there were tears on Harry's face as well mingling with the sweat. He hurriedly whipped them off on his robes.
"You heard James?" said Lupin, in a strange voice.
"Yeah —" Face dry, Harry looked up. "Why – you didn't know my dad, did you?"
"I – I did, as a matter of fact," said Lupin. "We were friends at Hogwarts. Listen, Harry – perhaps we should leave it here for tonight. This charm is ridiculously advanced — I shouldn't have suggested putting you through this —"
"No!" said Harry. "I'll have one more go! I'm not thinking of happy enough things, that's what it is — hang on —"
"Think about your parents," Chris said suddenly. Harry looked at her. "The Dementors are making it your weakness, you can change it into your strength. Think about happy things, like what would have happened if they were here, I mean — what they would have said to you after you won the house cup or the Quidditch matches, you said your Dad was a Quidditch player, so think how happy he felt when you caught the Snitch."
As Chris said, a smile appeared on Harry's face. He faced the packing case once more.
"Stand aside Christina." said Lupin, Chris went to the corner of the room, "Ready?" Lupin said to Harry, he looked as though he was doing this against his better judgement. "Concentrating hard? All right – go!"
He pulled off the lid of the case for the third time, and the Dementor rose out of it; the room fell cold and dark —
"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" Harry bellowed. "EXPECTO PATRONUM! EXPECTO PATRONUM!"
Soon a huge, silver shadow came bursting out of the end of Harry's wand, to hover between him and the Dementor.
Professor Lupin forced it inside the box again and Harry sank into a chair.
"You did great," Chris said coming beside him.
"Excellent!" Lupin said, striding over them. "Excellent, Harry! That was definitely a start!"
"Can we have another go? Just one more go?" Harry pleaded.
"Not now," said Lupin firmly. "You've had enough for one night. Here —"
He handed Harry and Chris two large bars of Honeydukes' best chocolate.
"Eat the lot, or Madam Pomfrey will be after my blood. Same time next week?"
"OK," said Harry and Chris.
"Not you Christina. I don't think you need any more lessons on that. You need to learn other advanced spells before this," Lupin said and Chris nodded.
Chris took a bite and watched Lupin extinguishing the lamps that had rekindled with the disappearance of the Dementor.
"Professor Lupin?" Harry said. "If you knew my dad, you must've known Sirius Black as well."
Lupin turned very quickly. Chris looked at Harry curiously.
"What gives you that idea?" he said sharply.
"Nothing — I mean, I just knew they were friends at Hogwarts, too —" Harry muttered.
Lupin's face relaxed.
"Yes, I knew him," he said shortly. "Or I thought I did. You'd better get off, Harry, it's getting late."
"Sometimes our feelings tell us the truth, Professor, not the thing we hear from others," Chris said and Lupin looked at her curiously.
But Chris walked out absently.
Chris and Harry walked in silence in the empty corridors, finally, Harry spoke, "I understand now why don't you want to talk about your mother. I mean who says so horrible things to her daughter?"
"Yeah. Well, it was kind of my fault too." Chris said with a bitter smile.
"What?"
"Yes. She took me to meet the person she was going to marry after she divorced my Dad. I kind of put his suit on fire, it was a small thing but, because of my magic, it almost burned him. My mom didn't know about my magic abilities, of course, everyone thought it's an accident but my mother accused me. Said those things to me." Chris sighed. "I don't think about it anymore but when I was seven it affected me greatly. I think that's why the boggart turned out like that."
"You're really brave Chris. I don't know what I would have done. I miss my parents very much. Especially now when I can hear them." Harry said.
"You can always feel them inside your heart Harry. You don't need Dementors for that." Chris said smiling a little.
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