God is the biggest idiot I hope exists. I had this thought after seeing Chaos again because he seems like the kind of guy who uses godlessness as a reason to be an unapproachable jerk.
"I wonder what his mom is thinking about this." I spoke while looking the momma who gave us food.
The people of this village sure were a welcoming bunch. To think that an unknown child and woman of unclear origins could get somewhere to stay just by asking nicely...? What a world this is...
The food was mostly meat and vegetables as if this world didn't know any interesting food recipes. It's almost like the what happens in a story when the writer has no idea what fantasy people eat.
Seeing that he didn't respond, my eyes looked up to see that Bob and his mom were a little busy. It might just be that they were talking to each other about what they are going to do with us here.
"Why did you do that?" This time I asked the 'kid' before me with an understandably unfriendly gaze.
He knew exactly what I was talking about.
"What reason did I have not to?" Are you bloody trying to say that it was rational to kill Bob...?!
I'll kill you again if you dare speak nonsense!
The 'Eclipse Aura' lightly shimmering on my body momentarily after he spoke made sparks in the air as my intimidation level rose by 10. The power over destruction wasn't to be handled lightly.
"You should have just lived your life." I calmed myself down before putting away my Aura. He didn't seem intimated by my power yet his hand touched his cheek upon seeing me manifest it.
"The life of 'Simon' wasn't and ISN'T my own." He spoke defiantly as if he was talking sense into me.
"Isn't it a better life than Damian's?" This question made him stop eating to glare right back at me.
Not that I cared in the slightest of his protectiveness over Damian's 'honour'. I don't see why he sees our original Identity so highly... That incarnation of me was my worst in my eyes.
"You seem content forgetting your past."
"It's called 'moving forward'." Even if my past was literally the 'worst', I'll learn from it and move on.
That is what it means to mature and grow up. A child like Chaos has no right to question this way of living. Compared to regretting every one of my actions with no end in sight, this was more healthy.
"That's a disturbing way to do so." He looked at me as if he was looking at a pathetic bug in those fearless eyes. Did he forget who smashed him into a far off mountain not too long ago or what~?
Though his clear rejection of my ideals made me a little curious, as it sounded so irrational to do so.
"What do you mean?" I don't see any problem with leaving behind the past. It sounds crazy not to.
"Do you work on rational thinking?" What was with this dumb question? Is his eyes working fine?
"Of course I d-"
"You acted like a child after reincarnation. Then decided to be a female in your second physical incarnation. Either the soldier you were in the past has gone mad or you really don't care anymore."
"..." It's hard to argue against someone who knows all the facts. Though I still don't get his point.
I'm no longer a 'solder' anymore. That was just an occupation, not a state of being. People who work in the army tend to glorify their daily activities because of how meaningless and mundane it feels to actually be there. Orders are always absolute,
Even then, I was the worst soldier to ever exist in that nation on Earth. If I was a good patriot with a devoted heart to my nation, then I would've killed myself earlier to save the politicians the trouble.
What was so good about struggling pathetically?
"What does that have to do with you making me friendless again?" I asked with a sharp gaze.
"Everything." He spoke in a matter-of-fact way.
"What do-"
"Why does Mr Hyde get no autonomy?" These words made me swallow what I was going to say next. I could figure out what he meant but didn't want to accept it, so I responded to him with:
"You chose that Identity." It was him who took all that made me 'Simon' from me. From my appearance to even the way I thought. It would have been a lot better if he had left me alone...!
"And YOU chained me to being 'Simon'."
"What's wrong with that Identity?" I don't see anything wrong with being a Personal Butler.
The pay was good and life was interesting. Isn't it better to go with the flow in these cases...?
"My freedom is taken away." Why do I sound like the bad guy now? His words sound too harsh.
"Then did you expect me to let 'Simon' disappear from this world?" I rolled my eyes to the side.
"Simon would've still existed if you accepted my assimilation into your 'Self' and became Anarchy."
"That is pure nonsense."
"...Is that what you seriously believe?"
"All of my family members would say the same."
"Then what about right now?" He extended his hand towards me while his other hand continued to pick up the food and eat. He chose to munch down on the cooking he received while waiting for me.
"I don't want to be 'Simon' anymore. I'm content with being just 'Harmony'." I refused his offer.
"...You truly are imperfect."
"Do you dare to say that again...?!" I clenched my fist and reminded him of that attack I'd given him.
"You can't go on living like a child."
"And makes you think you're more of an adult that I am? We both came from the same origin."
"A heart without knowledge is aimless, a mind without emotion is immature. You can consider yourself whatever you like, but that doesn't change anything." He tried to rile me up while saying:
"You.Are.A.Child!"
"Screw off...!" And it really worked, I wasn't able to handle how childish he was being to call me that.
"Do you want to know how me and Sapphire interacted with each other after she came back?" A smile was plastered on his face as he threw out something I was really curious shout to keep me sitting, I decided to continue talking to him.
"I've heard enough from the rumours already."
"Did you know why rejected being her servant?"
"Why?" I played along with him.
"Because I didn't want to change my 'Self'. Wearing someone else's skin and acting like them will eventually turn you into them. Identity affects Self as much as the Self affects the Identity."
"Do you reject being Simon that badly?" Having someone else's Identity also passed on the intimate bonds they had, just look at how I lived as Bob. My feelings for his family grew as I lived as him. That's why, I don't understand his rejection.
"You've lived as Bob for a long time as well. Tell me... How did it feel?" His inquiry cut deep.
"..." Even though I didn't want him to know of how weirdly unsatisfying it felt, the kid before me understood as he gave me a knowing look. It was then he sighed as he looked at the ceiling dazedly.
"You know... Sapphire had always been watching over you from outside time. When she came back from there, the first one she wanted to meet was you." He looked nostalgic before regaining his clarity. His eyes blinked as he fell silent...
The two of us didn't say anything, but understood the thoughts of the other regardless of our will. It was the unnerving bond I had with him that made really want to cut him out of my life sometimes.
It was as if my thoughts had no privacy... I felt like even my most shameful thoughts were exposed...
"She grew from her experiences in that void outside time, but the only person who stayed the same was you- No, 'Me' as Simon to be more accurate. I couldn't bring myself to talk to her properly, and end up breaking our bond over time."
"Very mature of you." I jabbed at him mercilessly as it wasn't like that place was my problem anymore.
Chaos heard my words but looked like he was thinking about whether he should fight me again or not, but another show of my clenched fist was enough to simmer down that battle intent.
"You're like a stick in the mud. Unpleasant."
"Say whatever you want."
"Freedom of speech is the only liberty you gave me, Dr Jekyll." He reminded me of my place.
"Just doing as my name implies to others."
"And that's why you'll always be a child."
"Enough. Is provoking the only thing you're good for? Why don't you go take care of Sapphire?"
"Do it your bloody self, jackass." He rolled his eyes at me as if he had turned the tables on me.
"...What?" I didn't quite understand.
"Didn't you hear me?" He jeered after finishing his food and leaning towards me: "Do.It.Your.Self."
"You can't do this...!" I quickly retorted back.
"And why can't I?"
"Your Identity is a responsibility."
"So?"
"You can't deny the Identity of Simon."
"But I just did though~? What, are you jealous you can't do the same?" His words flustered me.
"..." He seemed to really good at making me speechless as dragged him to me by his collar.
After swiftly getting up, my eyes glared at him as he opened my hands and pushed me in response.
He sorted out his clothes before saying: "That, is our biggest difference. You bound your Self and abide by Identities as if they are laws. From what I can tell, you are also an existentialist inwardly."
He hit the nail on the head...
"And you're just a nihilist." If there was one sort of philosophy that fit him, then this one was perfect.
"That's true~" He didn't deny my claim.
"You're the type who justifies his actions through keyboard warrior philosophy." I jabbed once again.
"If every Existentialist is a cat, then all Nihilists are vipers." Though his reply made me confused.
...Huh?
"You're saying I'm a cat?"
"Cats are proud but beloved. They are the kind of creatures you think are harmless due to their exterior, and are not expected to be able to fight independently. They are domesticated pets that could die if left alone." He paused to put the plate away before continuing what he was saying with a very deliberate tone as if to imply something:
"As for vipers slithering around, at least their exterior isn't that different from the interior~"
"Are you guys talking about getting a pet?" Bob's voice interrupted us before I could retort to him.
"No, just thinking about random stuff."
"You two seem to get along well."
"I know, right~?" Why did Chaos agree?
"We don't 'get along'."
"Why not?" Bob seemed confused as he treated Chaos like a child. Seeing it was conflicting...
Was this Chaos's 'interpretation' of my Identity as Simon? I don't remember ever acting this way...
"He's an annoying brat." These words caused the two who had become chums to talk dramatically:
"Uncle, my sister is picking on my pitiful self~" His little 'child persona' kicked in next to Bob.
I can't believe his shamelessness...!
"Oh, the sadness~ But what are to do? (Also, call me 'bro' instead of uncle. I'm not that old!)."
"Uncle, did you gain weight?"
"You frickin' 'gained weight'! You're entire family gained weight!" He broke away from him.
"You mean my sister too?" Chaos spoke in a irritatingly 'innocent' tone as he looked at me.
Bob looked at me up and down as well, which kind of made me angry for some reason. I am NOT fat!
"You're chubby in a different kind of way."
"...That's harassment." Who the hell says something like this to a girl?! Are you an idiot?!
"Smooth, Uncle. Smooooth~" Chaos jeered at him as he seemed to not care about his image at all.
"I'd like a moment alone."
"Well I'D like a girlfriend, but it's not like any of us are getting- Forget it, you cheating little jacka-"
"Simon!"
"Fine. You better not get comfy while I'm away." He clicked his tongue before leaving obediently.
If only his true personality matched the one he was showing outwardly. What a sinister 'viper'.
Anyway, I chose to focus on Bob for now.