As long as there is 'love' between a man and woman, there will exist romance. However, media these days seem to portray romance as to fanciful or too disturbing, making even the most 'romantic' scenes ever written sometimes seeming... creepy.
There is a big difference in 'love at first sight' and the more popular 'stalking for love' portrayed in movies like Groundhog Day. It's what makes the difference between a creepy stalker and a lover.
Of course, the personal fantasy of some people is to find the lover they are destined to meet, but that doesn't excuse a person from not respecting another's boundaries. After all, first impressions are normally shallow understandings of the person.
A normal character can perhaps feel that the romantic interest beautiful or caring, but these traits can't make up the entirety of the person they are pining for nor should that ever be the case.
Humans are social animals that feel more intimacy and connection towards people we are familiar with compared to strangers we just met. No matter how good your first impression is or how must of a soulmate they seem when you talk to them, they will always have other sides of them which only manifest in front of others that relate to them.
Anyways, unless your character can respect boundaries and give up when they're told to give up by their romantic interest, they will only come off as a creep when looked at objectively. Not all people in the world are made for each other...
There's a lot of media that portrays 'keeping up the attack' when the partner refuses to continue the relationship after a breakup is a good thing, but that is something a normal human being would KNOW is unacceptable. You can't mend a relationship with empty words or 'passionate speeches' about how regretful you are for whatever made you two breakup in the first place.
Now that doesn't mean I don't believe characters can't get back together or get the affection of someone they fell for at first sight. All I'm saying is that a 'romance' needs realism... having steps.
Romance is often like friendship in fiction; the kind of unconditional attachment portrayed is unrealistic to say the least. Who would throw away their life like it has no worth for someone else even if they had a good relationship in real life?
I realise the 'fantasy' aspect of it, but it is hard to relate to a person who is too good to be true in real life. If you are going to write a love interest, make them a fully formed character with their own goals and ambitions first before being a romance partner.
People find it hard to open up to even their loved ones, and others, despite sharing every little detail about themselves, end up in circumstances that force them to split with their partner.
Life is not something you can predict or have all the answers for. Sometimes, relationships shake from arguments, but if it's fragile enough that a small push can make it fall apart, then maybe the relationship wasn't meant to be in the first place.
A true 'romance story' has conflicts, but it also has something not much seen in other stories, and that is maybe reluctant or maybe an innocent form of compromise. As there are no 'enemies' in these kind of stories, but a problem that must either be solved or just lived with. Infidelity is a thing so you can't expect all relationships to be happy-go-lucky.
Truthfully, I don't like romances that are dark and depressing, as I love shipping two lovebirds who go well together. It warms my heart when I see two characters who love and support each other.
What I hate is seeing two robotic characters who have no substance pining over each other as if I'm supposed to care. Some writer's make the romantic tension a subplot as they either don't want to focus on it or don't understand it very well but even that's better that seeing two cardboard cutouts being 'romantic'. Before romance comes character and before character comes a premise.
If you want to write a proper love story revolving around romance itself, you need to add two things into it: Firstly, the two characters who are pining over each other must have their own independent ambitions and dreams. They must be 'people'.
Secondly, there has to be an obstacle that makes the reader wonder whether the relationship will work out. This part is hard to describe as the obstacle can range from geographic location to just the conflicts of what they desire in life.
This must be balanced by what makes them still want to be with each other regardless of their differences. After all, no one unconditionally loves a person without a sentimental or realistic reason.
Humans are just like that. There are times when our sentimental or more 'dutiful' forms of reasoning can lead us to compromise with the partner we do dearly love. Of course, there are also times this compromise comes after a breaking up.
Just keep these two factors in mind. Be sure to comment if you want to request another blog. 👍