บท 9: All The Stars
"So this is where Kim Namjoon's second segment will be shot?" Ji Ah inquired as her eyes surveyed their surroundings.
The director, who handled Bangtan's music videos, had picked a secluded suburb just on the outskirts of Seoul as the location for the short films of 'Love Yourself'. Namjoon's site was encapsulated in wild shrubbery flanking the decaying road. A dilapidated bus stop stood in a state of neglect, a small bus parked next to it. The day was scorching hot, the heat creating ripples through the glass panes of the windows as the sizzling heat permeated the pavement Ji Ah's feet currently rested on.
Namjoon and Yoongi were lounging under erected shades designed to guard against the blistering sun. Stylists and make-up artists hovered over them, ensuring that the pair looked fresh and hydrated despite the sapping heat. Ji Ah's eyes landed on Namjoon, who was clad in a green t-shirt and corduroy pants, a black cap concealing his hair.
"Are you, perhaps, wondering if it's the sun that's hotter or Kim Namjoon?" So Min sprung up beside her friend who jerked up at her voice.
Ji Ah chortled at So Min's outlandish comment. "That is not what I was thinking at all," she stated derisively, wiping her brows and hoping that the shoot would begin soon. She needed a reprieve from engaging in needless activities. Like tracing the sweat that slid down Namjoon's forehead, pooling at the edges of his lips as one of the staff members hurried to wipe it away.
Ji Ah shook her head, checking her watch for the umpteenth time. The girl supposed to appear in his part of the highlight reel would be arriving any time soon.
"Gah! Why is it so hot?" Yoongi whined from beside Namjoon as he rubbed his forehead.
The leader raised his eyebrows. "So why have you decided to come along? Isn't your shoot scheduled for the evening?"
"It is," Yoongi replied languidly as he leaned against his chair. "But since it's at the same site more or less, I surmised it would save time and energy to just tag along and wait my turn." The rapper's eyes glinted mischievously as he studied Namjoon. "And besides, I thought it would be interesting to watch your little drama with Hong Ji Ah unfold."
Namjoon sighed as he pulled the hand-fan closer to his face. "There is no drama waiting to unfold and I bet you'll fall asleep the minute this shoot begins."
"That's true too," Yoongi acknowledged, a smug look on his face as Namjoon shook his head.
His eyes roved over to where Ji Ah stood, her hair pushed under a snapback, long overalls gracing her lithe figure. She seemed absorbed in a conversation with Kang So Min and Namjoon speculated, not for the first time, how many layers her headstrong personality actually concealed. Wanting to divert his attention, he focused it on the highlight reels instead.
Each member would play their own roles, with their own partners for the four-part short films. His marked the third segment of the second reel, Jungkook and Seokjin having already filmed theirs the preceding day.
The themes reflected their idea of narrating the story they had envisioned in a haphazard manner, not necessarily releasing the albums in a chronological order. The members had felt that this would add a novelty to the storytelling, increasing the impact of the message they wished to portray through it.
Namjoon's thoughts were interrupted when a minivan pulled up beside their spot, the doors sliding open to reveal the slender, lean frame of Oh Han Seol, a trainee who had been cast alongside him. Her long, brown hair was clipped at the nape of her neck, a white cap adorning her head. Han Seol was clad in beige shorts and a plaid shirt which concealed the white tank top she wore underneath.
Ji Ah deduced her to be a full head shorter than Namjoon as the girl strode towards where he and Yoongi had risen to greet her. The shoot began in earnest, both Han Seol and Namjoon playing their parts diligently.
The assistant videographer marveled at his tenacity to act well, inspite of the fact that his expressions slipped-up more than once. Yoongi watched them with a similar feeling, finally being dragged off by the assistant director to rehearse his scene with Park Jung Yeon, another trainee who had just arrived.
Their segments concluded without a hitch, the videography team having documented the entire shoot. Night had fallen and it was now the turn of the dancers, whose co-star, Shin Ryu Jin, hadn't appeared yet.
"So, where is she?" the director demanded, his eyes roaming over Hoseok and Jimin who shrugged their shoulders.
"I was told that she's running a bit late," Manger Sejin informed him as Namjoon and Yoongi sauntered to their side after freshening up.
The director's dilemma shone clearly on his face as he contemplated his decision. Hoseok and Jimin needed to rehearse but Ryu Jin wasn't here to join them. His pupils dilated in consternation when Yoongi suddenly spoke up.
"Well, you just need someone to replace her for a bit right?" he pointed out as his eyes traveled to where Ji Ah was plopped on the sidewalk with Jae Chan and So Min as they waited for the shoot to begin.
Her gaze had turned upwards, tracing the stars which blanketed the clear skyline. The heat had abated a little, the night breeze a soothing caress against Ji Ah's cheeks as she closed her eyes, savoring the taste of summer that coated the air.
Namjoon followed Yoongi's gaze and gaped.
"You've got to be kidding me."
***
"I'm not," the director stated as Ji Ah gawked at him in disbelief. When she had been asked to replace Ryu Jin, she had laughed out loud. Until the director had summoned her straight to him.
"It's just for a while, Ji Ah-sshi," Hoseok encouraged her, an infectious smile on his face. "It would be a great help and there's not even much to do."
"Yes!" Jimin added enthusiastically. "All you have to do is pretend to be unconscious while Hobi Hyung slings you over his shoulders and carries you to safety."
"You mean give me a piggyback ride?" Ji Ah's thoughts went into overdrive. She weighed her choices carefully, taking care to assume a nonchalant expression.
On one hand, it would be beyond embarrassing if she made a fool of herself. But on the other hand, she would get to work with a member of Bangtan in extremely close quarters. How hard could it be?
Namjoon watched as Ji Ah turned to the director, hoping, for reasons unknown even to him, that she would refuse. But she didn't. And somehow, he wasn't surprised.
"Deal," she said as she shook hands with the director, bowing to Jimin and Hoseok who looked ecstatic.
Namjoon couldn't place the emotions churning within him as the rehearsal resumed, Ji Ah and Hoseok enacting the scene Jimin had described. All at once, he was plunged into the past, recollecting how he had simmered when someone had so much as glanced suggestively in Ji Ah's direction.
Had he been that possessive?
Hoseok was one of his best friends, and watching him with Ji Ah, Namjoon began to see the error of his approach, something he hadn't bothered to do during the span of his relationship with Ji Ah. His jealousy had been unfounded and in hindsight, Ji Ah had been justified in leaving.
Where would they be now if things had been different, if they been then who they were today?
There was no right answer to this and Namjoon knew it. He had allowed his anxiety to blind him, something he grappled with even in the present.
Love yourself. Ji Ah had advised him to love himself. Back then, he didn't know what she had meant. By the time he did, it had been too late.
And now, Namjoon only hoped that he could make Ji Ah realize that he was finally, finally beginning to understand.
"And that's a wrap on the rehearsal!" the director called out as Hoseok set Ji Ah down gently.
Namjoon snapped out of his reverie as she strode towards where he was standing with Yoongi, who suddenly remembered he had something to do. She watched him leave in bafflement and Namjoon had to bite back the smile that his lips were threatening to curl into.
"So, were you absolutely enthralled by my acting skills?" Ji Ah asked as she flipped her hair back. Namjoon laughed at the gesture.
"Let's just say it was a good thing that this was merely a rehearsal," he deadpanned, watching in amusement as Ji Ah's nostrils flared.
"Huh! Says the man who couldn't even muster the proper gait to enter the bus!" she stated accusingly, alluding to his scene with Han Seol, and Namjoon's lips twitched.
"Well, at least I'm not the one who almost toppled over and took Hobi down with me!"
Ji Ah and Namjoon stared at each other for a few seconds, bursting out in unchecked laughter. A few heads turned in their direction and the rapper didn't miss the knowing smile Hoseok shot him.
"I guess we're both terrible actors then," Namjoon said as he plunked onto the pavement and stretched his legs.
Ji Ah sat beside him, her face tilting upwards. "Speak for yourself, Kim Namjoon."
He chuckled as he followed her gaze, his senses lulled by the twinkling stars.
"But you know," Ji Ah began and Namjoon's head whipped towards her, "I'm glad you're stepping out of your comfort zone, doing different things, adopting different methods. I may not be an idol, but I know how crucial it is for artists to grow beyond what they think they can do and stop restricting themselves to what they believe people want to see. How important it is for them to accept who they are." She faced him, a smile on her face, a smile which seemed to warm him from within. "It's okay to be your own person, no matter how difficult that may seem at times."
Namjoon was aware he was staring at her, but he couldn't look away. Ji Ah's words resonated with him; they were the same words he had been trying to reconcile himself with.
Ji Ah broke their eye contact by pointing at a shooting star which sailed overhead. "It's a shooting star! C'mon, let's make a wish," she nudged Namjoon and he laughed.
"Aren't we a little too old for that?" he asked teasingly, surprised at how normal their conversation felt, without any residual undertones of the past.
"We're never too old for wishes, Kim Namjoon," Ji Ah said softly, her eyes closed, her face aglow with the sparkling lights of the tranquil city.
I guess we aren't, he thought as he followed her example, his head tipped towards the sky.
And for the first time in what felt like ages, Kim Namjoon wished upon a star. He wished that he would find the strength he was seeking. He wished that he would find love.
For himself.
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