บท 2: Feeling Sparky
Beep, beep, beep. The sound drones on steadily waking me from my stupor. It's loud and annoying so IT MUST DIE! With a spasm of a sort my hand gropes out towards the cursed beeping and my hands twist and contort in ways I can barley imagine... And something happens!
*ZAP* *FIZT* FIZT*
Lightning burst from my hands and hit the stupid metal thingy that was making the noise! Errr... The stupid EXPENSIVE looking metal thingy.
Well shit.
Also interestingly enough, I've got lightning hands. I'VE GOT MOTHER FUCKING LIGHTNING HANDS! In the midst of my near ecstatic freak out I hear the sounds of worried voices and squeaking shoes on shiny floors. I leap back to lay down as if nothing happened and while I do so I could have almost sworn I heard the all too familiar sound of dice rolling onto a smooth padded dice container. And I snap back down and remake the bed, perfectly may I add, at near superhuman speed as I hear a ghostly voice say something...
The all to beautiful words of "Critical Success, Natural Twenty" spoken by an even more beautiful voice, a voice that sounds like an angelic choir... And I lie down in the perfect position to appear as if I just awoke in a startled manner.
The door opens and two people in white clothes rush in. A woman and a man, both very Caucasian looking and both quite young...
The first one who came in, the woman, immediately streaks over to the machine that I now recognize to be a heartbeat monitor and closely inspects it with a desperate face "Doctor Gray it seems as if there was an equipment malfunction! And I don't think it's salvageable!"
She looks miserable, and she makes me feel guilty. Fucking great. I look at the other doctor, while still trying to appear sufficiently frazzled as I roar "What in Dugmaren's name just happened!" as loudly as I can, nearly blasting their ears off with my the strength of my weighty dwarven lungs.
Wait... Dugmaren? Dwarven lungs? Am I going fucking insane right now? This is the REAL WORLD not some D&D universe no matter how much I wish for it to be... Right? I hope fucking not, but right?
"Err it seems as if there was some sort of power surge mister..."
The male doctor looks at me in a sort of meek was as he speaks in a sort of stunned yet questioning voice.
"Mall-" I start to speak and I stop. Did I seriously just try to say Mallark, Mallark Brightstone? I am Edward, Edward Rodger not some supped up dope ass dwarf.
*Ahem*
My apologies, you may call me Edward" I say in a deep voice as I sit up. A real deep voice, and why exactly do I have a deep voice? In a confused way I look down at my chest. Aaaannnnddd... I'm ripped. Well THAT wasn't there before. You know? This would be cool and all if I knew what the heck was going on! Why am I hot and buff? Why can I shoot lightning out of my fingertips? Why do I think I'm a dwarf? And most importantly, WHY AM I LYING ON THIS HOSPITAL BED WITH ONLY MY BOXERS ON!
The lady blushes when she hears my voice and sees my bare chest when I pulled myself up to talk. "Well we umm, ahh we..." Blushing and gesticulating she desperately looks to her partner to save her from this awkward situation she's pulled herself into. I must have gotten a real makeover if I can turn a girl into a gibbering mess with just a look.
The man looks at me, scowling, his displeasure clear on his face. "Yeah yeah whatever, long story short ya got hurt and you went to the hospital" He speaks to me as if I'm some sort of idiot and it's extremely how insulting. "Now there seems to have been a power surge that blew up this piece of crap" he gestures at the ruined heart rate monitor "into oblivion and it scared the hell out'a us and we could hear it from all the way down the hall so we rushed down here to make sure if you were fine, and apparently you are so we can now go". With one more annoyed glance he marches his partner and himself out of the door and down the hall, much to her confusion as she can be heard babbling about some 'status notifications' and 'post-coma diagnosis'. I feel as if I can assume that's about me.
Hold it, coma? How long have I been in here for? My mind flashes to the worst case scenario, that I've been lying in bed for a good deal of my life and now I'm some old wrinkly guy like in those mov- no, wait stupid me, I tell my other train of thought, I'm freaking buff as hell and I don't feel old so this probably isn't that bad. I pull myself out of bed, or I try as the IV's holding me back. I pull it off as I swing my legs off of the bed and onto the ground. I got THICC legs too, strong and corded, like thick steel wire. My legs weren't like that before either though, before I got... Thunderstruck? Yeah, thunderstruck, and knocked into a 'coma' of some sort. Noticing a hospital gown at the base of my bed I don it, not caring enough to button up the front and walk out of the door on;y to bump straight into...
Doctor lady #1
"Errr... Hello again Ms..." I leave the statement open ended to make it more of a question as it would be useful to know her name. She has met me more than once as of now and as of the fact that she is my doctor it might be good to get to know her.
"Amelia, Amelia Charlotte, but just call me Charlotte or Dr.Charlotte" she says with a decidedly straight face. She's also accompanied by two other people, Doctor guy #1, annoyed variant, and Doctor guy #2, unacquainted variant. The new guy looks young and upbeat. He's tall and black with a warriors body and a scholars robe. He seems like a good guy, I can just feel it.
"And hello to you Mr-" I say as I stretch my hand out to shake the hands of the black doctor before being decidedly interrupted by the first male doctor.
"Earl, Earl Gray and Doctor Grey to you" He steps in front of the other man, knocking away my outstretched hand that I reached towards his companion. "We're here to inspect your condition Mr.Edward if you would so lie back down on that bed real quick and we'll boot you out of here as fast as we can". He says this in an EXTREMELY annoyed fashion, as if it's my fault for all his problems in life by just simply existing in this hospital.
Well shit, who stuck the ten foot pole up HIS ass cause this guy apparently has some major problems with me! And I didn't do shit to him at all yet!
Time to respond back with some serious attitude and I'M GOING IN GUNS BLAZING! I can basically hear the battle cries of the mini-me's charging across the battlefield of my brain to bring some serious smack talk down on the poor mans lily white ass "Well sorry teabag, don't blame me for wanting to be here and racking up my bills while I lay around in my free time. I'd do it more if I didn't have some annoying douche *ahem* TEA bag whining about me being hospitalized. It's not like Mr.Cheap and Mass Produced isn't supposed to be happy at doing his job, nooo HE'S supposed to make sure his wards are healthy and not clinically ill before he boots their ass out'a the door just because he felt a little bit of the green rage monster rise up inside of him because of his flabby love handles can't compare to my sexy ass abs".
His eyes widen up at that comment, anger apparent in his eyes, I know I've hit the mark on this one. Probably has some sort of insecurity problems or something.
"Ohhh looks like I hit the head of the nail real hard with that one, am I right luv?" I say, intending the last part towards doctor chick #1 over to the side. She glances at his face and sees the embarrassment clear as a cloudless sky. "Bet you got real angry when you saw sugar over here get all FLUSTERED over little ole me". I say this all with a Cheshire grin on my face and in a sorta mocking southern drawl. "Have a little crush? Get friend zoned one too many times? Feeling insecure about your own body so you had to take it out on some random other guy who tries hard at life?" By now he's absolutely mortified and enraged with me, he looks like he might charge me at any moment. "If you're not cut for the job don't try it and if you're ugly don't antagonize others for it" I punctuate each and every word of that sentence by taking one step towards him at a time while he backs up one step for each on I take. By now his back's pressed up against the wall and we're in the hallway with other people staring at us. "So don't try your bluster and intimidation on me, if your feeling bad about not being accepted by your little crush over there" I say as I point to the now worried lady doctor "keep it your own problem, kapeesh?" He nods with a pale face. Gutless little bastard. Looks like I slapped him wide across the face when I didn't do shit to him. "Now I'm going in there and you're gonna follow me and do your job by diagnosing me to get me the FUCK OUT OF THIS HOSPITAL!".
And with that I stalk back inside the room and throw myself back down onto the bed ready to get out of here.
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TL20WW
TL20WW Hey guys, TheLevel20Wizard here just putting up the chapter. You can expect chapters up to about this length usually when I update. Sorry about the whole not much development thingy, just got the whole 'magic discovery' scene down and the first ever super face smack down scene. Gonna get a move on and some sweet sweet plot development in next chapter and stuff so expect it sometime soon I guess. Dunno when I make the next chapter.
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