บท 44: I Hate You
***Jimin's POV***
*Ding Dong*
My heart raced as I pressed the doorbell. I waited impatiently for her.
What was taking her so long to open the door? I know she is still up... Or maybe she has already fallen asleep?
*Ding Dong*
I can't just leave right now. I need to see her...
*Ding Dong*
I have to see her...
I lifted my hand up in an attempt to knock on the door, but it suddenly opens up revealing Hani whose face was covered with smudged and running makeup. She had long hair but I could see it was hair extensions. It was hanging halfway loosely from her head. I couldn't help but let out a laugh at her and immediately covered my mouth.
I've never seen her like this before so it was very amusing for me. She was in a beautiful white dress that really showed off her nice body.
"Hi Hani, You uh... You got a little something on your face. Your make up actually..."
She smiled slightly at me before her face turned into utter shock and she runs away from the door and heads upstairs to her room first. I let out a loud throaty laugh before letting myself in closing the door behind me. I made my way upstairs to her room. I couldn't keep the giggles away. She was too adorable.
I sat on her bed and waited for her. She came out of the bathroom only to grab some clothes and returned back to the bathroom. I let a small chuckle escape my lips before I stopping myself. My head slightly tilted as I thought to myself...
Why was she so dressed up tonight? And she wore makeup again too...
Reality hit me hard in the face as I remember that she belongs to Yoongi now. She probably had just gotten back from a date with Yoongi. It doesn't explain the running makeup, but does it matter? She is his. I sighed out loud to myself before closing my eyes.
What am I doing here?
I opened my eyes but my gaze fell upon the ground before me. I was lost in thoughts of Yoongi and Hani that I didn't notice she had come out of the bathroom. I felt like someone was watching me and turned to the bathroom to discover Hani standing before me in a grey tank top and a short that exposed her long smooth silky legs.
I knew my face had turned crimson red on me as I hurriedly stood up and moved to the seat next to her vanity table. I couldn't keep my eyes away from her as she climbed into bed.
She was so beautiful and I wanted to hold her, to touch her so badly. She avoided my gaze as she playfully played with her fingers. My eyes remained on her beautiful face and then moved down to her lips. The very lips that I craved for so much right now. I wanted so bad to attack them. To feel them once more.....
But she's not yours...
"I uhh, saw your text..." I finally spoke trying to break the silence in the night. It was so quiet that I feared she would hear the increasing heartbeat of mine.
"Oh.." She answered me. I was hoping for more than a short answer. I was trying not to let the situation get awkward with everything that had happened between us, but she was quick to add on to her answer.
"I mean, why didn't you just text me back? You didn't have to come over right away. It was already late. We could have met tomorrow morning." She quickly replied right after.
"I couldn't wait-" I stopped once I realized what I had just let slip out of my mouth. I internally cursed at myself before trying to cover my slip.
"I-I.. uhhh.."
I could see a small curve on her lips.
"It's okay Hyung. Since you're already here, sleep here tonight. We can talk tomorrow morning."
And then she smiled at me. That beautiful smile of hers. It was breaking my heart...
Don't smile like that at me Hani... Please don't...
I remember why I came here in the first place. I remembered what I had told Taehyung before coming here. I gathered up all the strength I had left in me.
Don't waver because of her smile...
"I came here to hear what you wanted to tell me. And after that, I want to end everything between us..."
************
"I came here to hear what you wanted to tell me. And after that, I want to end everything between us..."
When those words were spoken, I felt my heart breaking into millions of pieces. The bright smile on my face had faltered. He sat up firmly in his seat and gave me an emotionless stern face.
"So, what did you want to tell me?"
No more giggles, no more laughter. Instead, his voice was unusually low and deep.
"H-Hyung.. I-I.." I stuttered feeling so many different emotion entering my body, mind, and soul.
How do I tell him that I love him? How do I start?
"I-I.. Hyung I just.. I wanted to.."
I was trembling. I wanted to scream and shout it out, but nothing came out of my mouth. I bit my lips nervously. I didn't know how to start now that I was finally given the chance to speak.
"If you can't tell me, then let me speak first."
He stood up from his seat. My gaze followed him as he stood tall and stare down at me.
"I came to say goodbye Hani..."
I could see the tears building up in his eyes and he took a deep breath and turned his head away from me to hide his tears.
"I didn't want to see you because I was scared I wouldn't be able to go back. I was scared that I wouldn't be able to let you go and...... I was right," his voice trailed off as he let out a sorrowful sob that tore my heart apart even more.
"Hyung-" I said as I tried to get out of the bed.
"No, don't!" He cried out to me as he quickly wiped his tears.
"Don't comfort me. Don't say anything. You'll only hurt me more. I'm sorry Hani, I can't stay friends with you anymore. I'm sorry, I love you. Goodbye Hani..." And he turns around and heads towards the door.
His action and break down gave me the courage to get out of bed and I rushed towards him and I wrapped my arms around his waist.
"Hyung, I'm sorry. Please don't leave me..." I cried into his back. His cries could be heard as he grabbed both my wrist and pulled them apart to break free from me. He turned around and pull me into a hug. He hugged me tightly as he cried into my shoulder.
"I told you to not comfort me. It only makes it harder for me to let you go..."
I held him back and cried along with him. I needed to tell him. I have to let him know.
"Hyung, don't leave me. I-I..."
He buried his head deeper into my neck as he breathes warms breaths that cause so much sensation all over my body.
"I love you Hyung..." I finally breathe out those words.
I felt like the whole world was lifted from my shoulder. A small smile made it's way across my face as I repeated myself once more.
"I love you Jimin Hyung..."
He finally looked up to meet my eyes. Confusion could be seen in his red swollen moist orbs. His sniffling slowly decreasing as he stares back at me. I cupped his face and wiped away his tears with my thumbs. I gently tiptoed to place a kiss on his lips. His eyes widen in shock and he backs away automatically.
"H-Hani..." He stammered cutely at me.
"W-what did you just do?" He cutely asks flustered at why I had just kissed him.
I tiptoed and kissed him again.
"I said I love you Hyung. A lot."
"But... Yoongi??"
"It's a long story.."
I held his hand and led him back to my bed and sat him down. I sat next to him and told him everything.
"Hyung, I've always loved you. Ever since we were little. I never wanted to call you Hyung. I liked you a lot, but you wanted so much for me to call you Hyung. You made me feel like you would return my feelings, so I kept them hidden from you. When you moved away and I met Mi-Young, she became the next most important person for me after you. She was like a sister to me so when you came back to Korea a few months ago, she ended up taking an interest in you. Mi-Young liked you.."
His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to process what I was telling him.
"She has asked me if I liked you, but being the dumb idiot that I was, I told her that I didn't. Remember when I asked you to be Mi-Young's fake boyfriend? That was all part of a plan that I had. I had planned to get you and Mi-Young to fall in love while I was going to try to get Hoseok to like me. I wanted him to like me so that he would end their marriage and Mi-Young and you can be happy together. But you suddenly confessed to me that you loved me. I wanted so badly to tell you then, about everything. But I couldn't because of Mi-Young. She liked you so much, so I ended up hurting you. I lied about liking Yoongi. I asked him to play along as my boyfriend and he agreed."
"You don't like Yoongi? I'm so confused..."
He closed his eyes and tried to understand everything that I was telling him. I continued on telling him everything that happened. I didn't leave out a single detail. When I finished, I nervously waited for his response.
"Hyung, please say something..." I quietly asked him.
His silence was slowly killing me. My heart raced rapidly in my chest as I waited. But nothing came out from his mouth. He was staring straight ahead and I looked to see where he was looking and met his eyes in the mirror on the vanity table. His eyes held so much sadness and hurt in them.
"Did you know it was me who kissed you at the restaurant then?" He asks while looking at me through the mirror.
I stared back and nodded letting him know that I knew it was him all along. He let out a scoffed laugh. A tear streamed down his face as he laughed, but it wasn't a happy laugh.
"How was it?" He laughed bitterly at me.
"What are you talking about Hyung?" I asked baffled at his question.
"How was it? Was it fun, playing with my feelings?"
"Hyung-"
"It must have been so much fun seeing me hurt, cry, and love you like a madman!" He screamed at me.
I jumped at his outburst. He stood up and walked away from me. I instantly followed him but stopped when I noticed both his hands clenched tightly into a fist and he paced back and forth around my room. The anger and hurt burned in his eyes.
"Hyung, you know-"
"Shut up and let me finish!" He screamed at me.
I immediately did as told. I've never seen him so furious before and it's only right that he got angry. What did I expect was going to happen?
"Y-you knew how I felt! I-I confessed. Are you even human? How could you hurt me so badly? How could you play with my feelings like this?" He angrily asked as he moved towards me. I slowly backed up as he moved forward until the door stopped me from being able to move any further back.
"Hyung, I'm sorry-"
"I said SHUT UP!" And he slams both his hands into the door behind me. Frighten by his actions, I closed my eyes shut and trembled with fear. I could feel his heavy panting breathing on my skin. He leaned in close and breathed into my ear.
"I hate you..."
My eyes fluttered opened as soon as I heard those words. Large tears brimmed in my eyes. This is what I was afraid of, Hyung hating me. And now it's become reality.
To Be Continued...
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