บท 69: Something Feels Off
Altair shut her mouth to prevent herself from continuing to blurt out, what she felt, to be nonsense. While it was true that it bothered her she didn't believe that it bothered her as much as she was feeling it was. She struggled for several moments to put the maelstrom of emotions back inside her heart so that it might calm down.
Afterwards, she was immediately filled with regret. She still felt all of the other emotions as well but now regret was piled on top of it.
'He's a Human,' she told herself scornfully. 'We only have a tentative deal. There' no way he's interested in my past. I'm just a tool to him right now.'
She also felt that she was being stupid at this moment. That just added another layer of feelings into the maelstrom that was still tumbling about inside her.
She still felt like she had a rock in her throat though.
Using her shaky hands she wiped the tears from her eyes while she sniffed loudly.
Renald, on the other hand, felt incredibly awkward. He had no experience with this type of emotional outburst. He was stunned by her admission of her supposed death but that was taking a seat slightly behind the conflicted thoughts he was having about her complaints.
Even though she had told him that she was at least sixteen she still looked like she was eight or nine. At that age, children were more mentally stable than she was displaying now. Still, her crying so much before him still scratched his heart slightly. He knew he was no good with children who were like this.
He wished that Donel was here so he could pass the problem off to him…
Still, business was business. He was a business man first and everything else came second. So, after several moments of an awkward silence between them, he disregarded all of these feelings about the situation into the trash inside him and leaned forward on his desk with his hands before his face. He then flatly stated, "I see. So it's been hard on you." He was attempting to shift the conversation towards her claim but he didn't expect to make things worse.
The walls that Altair had built up inside her during the silence to stifle her feelings seemed to crumble to dust. Her heart was telling her that he was making light of what she had been through.
If what she had done was a leak in a dam then now that dam had been blown apart.
Even though it could cause her to fall over, Altair turned her head and glared him while the maelstrom within her grew. There seemed to be some hints of something pushing and prodding her feelings to make them more volatile. She angrily cried out at him, "You, a Human, raised in peace make light of my life?!"
Altair had learned a lot about the recent history of the Empire. She knew that they hadn't been at war with anyone in over eighty years. Even though tensions were high between the Empire, Federation, and Union, they still maintained peace. Because of that, Altair assumed that Renald and his entire family had not experienced what war was really like.
As she cried more due to the waves of sorrow and despair that crashed within her, Altair's frustrations took center stage while she shouted, "Do you know what it's like to be thrown out by your family just because of a stupid superstition?! To be hunted by those you thought were your protectors?! To have to hunt for your own food with a rock tied to a stick that you could barely even lift?!"
Altair felt even angrier after she imagined how her early days in the Coalition were while she thought that Renald was mocking her experiences. She was unable to contain her anger towards him. If she had Mana, she would have attacked him with everything she had right now. She wanted nothing more than to see him torn to shreds at her feet.
Renald felt even more awkward at her words. He knew he had messed up again and wanted to calm Altair before she continued to make him feel small, but he didn't get the chance as Altair continued to shout at him.
"You don't, do you!? You're just a child of peace and you try to act like you've seen it all!" She pulled herself towards him on the sofa with shaky arms, causing her to fall forward. She didn't care as her anger seemed to give her greater control over her body. She crawled towards him while glaring death and continued, "You're just a stupid Human! Trying to act like a superior creature is in your nature! Always looking down on others and ruining their lives for no reason!!!"
Renald was glad about his Inborn Ability at this moment. If he didn't have it up then he was sure there would be some unsettling rumors flying around before the day was over. There would already been some that would be problematic in the future but at least it wouldn't be as bad as it could be.
Of course, Renald was also a bit surprised by Altair's continued outburst of emotions. 'This doesn't seem right,' he thought to himself. 'She wasn't this mentally unstable before. Just what exactly happened I wonder.'
From what he knew about how war affected people's minds back in the medieval era he knew that what Altair was displaying now didn't make any sense. If she was really this emotionally weak when she was on a battlefield she would have probably ended up dead. Her anger would have led her to do something reckless and against orders, which would probably make her run straight into an ambush of some sort. It would have been there that she met her end.
'Someone did something,' he considered in his mind. When that thought passed through he instantly pictured his wife. 'Was this your plan? To get her emotionally unstable and be the one she cried to? From there you'd probably comfort her, wouldn't you? Then she would open up about what she had been through as she had already said a lot.'
Renald smirked in his mind, 'What a pity. I interrupted you, didn't I?'
Altair continued her rage at him as she was oblivious to everything and couldn't resist her rampaging emotions, "You don't even know how it feels to watch your friends and those you love die as you're powerless to help them! To deliberately go out of your way to stop others from introducing themselves to you just so you wouldn't have to go through the pain of knowing someone who died again!"
A small voice in the back of Altair's head cried out in desperation toward her, 'What the hell are you doing?!' It was her rationality. Its voice was getting smaller and smaller as it tried to call her back from going on, 'Are you seriously trying to get sympathy from a Human? Don't you remember all that they've done!?'
She sucked in a deep breath before she went on, "You have no idea what it's like to live in a Total War! Only one side can survive! It's a battle of extinction! That's why you're a child of peace! You only know how to stuff your fat head and sponge off those you conquered! You live here in such splendor and nice surroundings… Completely oblivious to the suffering of others!" Altair had shouted so much and with such intensity that her voice started to sound coarse. She did not seem to care at all as she panted heavily, trying to catch her breath to keep going.
Renald could tell from the look of complete disdain and disgust in her eyes that she was going to continue on. He also knew that if he just let her continue like this they would never actually get back to the important part about that curse she was under. She would just continue to shout her lungs out until she passed out
He opened a drawer in his desk and reached in for a suppressant. He had used them frequently to keep his logic in control during work so he always kept some on hand in his desk. He was used to using them but he knew that Altair wasn't.
It would cause her to feel more miserable the more emotional someone felt while throwing a wet blanket over the emotions. He knew that this was probably a bad idea the moment he grasped the small cylindrical object in his hand but he had no other options.
He wasn't equipped to handle a child that was like this. He suspected no one in the Empire could.
As he stood to his feet, Altair raged on, "You even have servants who do your ever bidding! You probably have a different one serve you every single night! You're filth! You and your entire race only bring hatred and destruction everywhere you go!" She was rambling now. She didn't care about what she said as long as it did some kind of damage to Renald. Anything was on the table. She just wanted to lash out at him for reasons she couldn't understand.
Renald nearly stumbled as he walked towards her when she mentioned him sleeping with his servants. His brow twitched lightly as he thought, 'You really don't think much of me huh? Well, it doesn't matter. We are business partners. As one partner to another, let me free you from whatever is plaguing you.'
Renald approached her as she rambled uncreative insults at him. She shouted faster and faster the closer he got. As if she was in a hurry to get everything off her chest, like she knew what he was about to do to her.
But that was impossible. Altair was just getting more agitated with each passing second. It was like something was stoking her emotions to get more out of control, like a fire being fed liquid fuel. There was no sign of it stopping and she could no longer hear the voice in the back of her head. She wasn't even able to think properly. IT was just anger, despair, hatred, sorrow, and regret throwing itself all over inside her.
Renald kneeled down, completely ignoring her outbursts. As she drew in range she attacked him feebly with her arms that had less strength than normal. Renald's brow only twitched slightly before he took the cylindrical object in one hand and caught one of her flailing arms with the other. He then jabbed it into her arm none-too-gently and injected its contents with a hissing sound.
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