บท 50: So why did you lend me your jacket?
Jamie
I have dance practice at 8:00 am. Because I had fallen asleep with Veronica in my arms and woke up without her, I distractedly rushed through my morning routine and only realise now that I'm in the building that I had forgotten to do so much. I forgot to pack my water bottle. An extra shirt. I forgot to use toner before putting on BB cream. And I wasn't able to do my face routine last night, either. Fuck.
Too late to do anything about that now. It is 8:05. I step into the elevator and press the button for the practice rooms floor.
I hear someone outside rushing for the lift, so I press the open button to wait for whoever it was. It was Gangsta.
Fuck.
"Bro," Gangsta wheezed as he bouldered in, holding his hand out for a high five. I ignored him and pressed the close button.
"Why are you avoiding me, bro?" Gangsta asked.
"Who said I was avoiding you?" I deadpan.
"I have your jacket," he stepped closer. He smelled clean, like he had freshly showered. "Do you know how hard I was whenever I put it on?"
"You're not my type, bro," I said, stepping back. I watched the numbers on the elevator wall, crawling up so slowly.
"I thought we had a moment," he said, suddenly shyly. When he's not being all hot blob of testosterone, he looked really young and innocent. It must be so nice to be 22.
"You're not even gay, Arden," I finally looked at him. "Nor bi, from the looks of it. What are you trying to do?"
"Oh, just... trying..." He was leaning into me more than I was comfortable with, but at least he wasn't touching me. Yet. He put on a sly smile and breathed into my ear. "I don't know yet what I am. And I'm very curious about you, Jamie."
"I don't know if you know this, but I'm not gay," I finally spelled it out for him. This had to stop, seriously. I have other, bigger problems at the moment.
"Oh?" Gangsta raised an eyebrow. "But what about you and..." he started coughing as I raised an eyebrow back at him.
The lift finally reached my floor and the elevator doors slowly, mercifully opened. As I stepped out, he said, "So why did you lend me your jacket?"
I looked back at him. "Because you asked nicely," I said, as the elevator doors closed on his doubtful face.
Fuck, why _did_ I lend him that jacket?
I walked down the empty hallway and realise it's not just Gangsta. It was Chastity. It was Veronica. Veronica was the one who stuck her tongue in my throat first, who stuck her hand down my pants first. She was the one who just suddenly said in the middle of a coffee break, wouldn't it be nice for you to be fucking me hard on the table right now, while waiting to film our variety show. She was always the one jumping me, any chance she got.
And I let her. Because she was really hot. And her pussy was really good at clenching me when I'm inside her. I don't really have a lot to compare it to, but I believe we have better sex than 90% of all the people in the world.
So, why did you lend Gangsta your jacket when you knew what it meant if you did?
It's simple, I realise. I feel overwhelmed when someone wants to fuck me. Maybe this is from being that person who desperately wanted someone he couldn't have for the longest time. Suddenly, you're that person who is so desperately wanted. I can't believe that someone like them, like Chastity, like Veronica, like Gangsta would desire someone like me. I mean, I'm not Mark or LJ. Or Steve.
So why not Steve?
"Jamie-kins!" someone calls me. I turn around and see Missy and Steve walking towards me from the elevator. I decide to wait for them, only because I don't want to offend Missy.
"What brings you to work so early?" I put on a bright smile for her.
"Dance practice!" she exclaims, her melodious voice bouncing off the halls. "Do you guys really have dance practice this early in the morning?"
"Yeah," I nod. "It's because Steve needs to keep up with the rest of us."
Steve looked at me like, oh you're acknowledging my existence now. I ignored him. Eat shit, babe.
"Oh Jame, you're so funny," Missy giggled. She slapped Steve's shoulder a couple of times, as if to get him to agree with her. Steve did not agree with her.
"Why do you have dance practice so early this morning?" I asked. Nobody else is usually in the building by this time.
They finally arrived in front of me, and Missy kissed my cheek in greeting. "Oh no, we practice after you guys," she replied as we all start walking again towards the big studio.
"So, why are you here already?"
"Oh, I hitched a ride with Steve," she said, as if that were the most normal thing in the world. I guess it was, except she didn't live anywhere near him. "It's clingy friend time!" she laughed, elbowing Steve to share her mirth.
I looked at Steve, who glared at me, warning me not to say anything that will kill Missy's vibe or make her uncomfortable. I am still angry at Steve, but I'm not an asshole like that. "You need better friends to cling to," I said, pulling her away from Steve's side and over to mine. She giggles and scolds me for being mean to Steve.
Yeah, so why not Steve? I looked at uncharacteristically somber Steve and understood why. Because he was Steve.
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