บท 14: Things We Would Never Say Out Loud 2
Jamie
I lost my virginity to a girl, she's from a girlband, Succulent, from the same label. Mark was such a horny bastard that he found ways to get the girls into our dorms without the managers or security knowing. You know how Pink Satin and Goddess Athena were rival girlbands to the point of their fans going to jail for disrupting fan meetings of the other band, and there was even that poison incident from 5 years ago... anyway, it actually started because they thought that Mark slept with a girl from each group at the same time. Meanwhile, both groups' fans adore Mark, firstly because they don't know that he's why the girls hate each other. And secondly, well, just look at him.
Okay, back to me.
She found her way to my dorm room. I was alone because Steve was instructed to take LJ out while his roommate was banging the girl from Goddess Athena, and I was on level 16 of Diablo. Despite her name being Chastity, she did all the moves. Sitting beside me on the bed, saying she just wants to watch the game. Laying her head on my shoulder because she was supposedly sleepy. Running her fingers across my thigh in a slow, rhythmic pattern.
So, I not only lose, but my character dies. "Dammit, Chas," I push her hand away as I wait to respawn.
"I want you, Jamie," she says, sweetly. "I want your dick inside me."
And just like that, my dick was inside her.
The next day, Mark was more excited about it than I was.
"You got it so easy, Jame!" he was jumping around in my dorm room. "Girls ALWAYS play hard to get with me. ALWAYS! Nobody ever just offered sex just like that, I have to coax them for months. And you, all you have to do is play Diablo and someone wanders into your room and basically drops her panties in front of you!"
I can understand why girls would play hard to get with Mark. He was the most handsome guy in our band, and easily one of the most handsome guys in the company. Easily, one of the most handsome guys on the continent. It would be more believable if girls break into his room and drop their panties in front of him. But being around something that beautiful is just too intimidating, and girls hardly believe their luck when he pays them any attention.
And with Mark, girls tend to want true love. They want him to be the one. Or they want to be the one. Or both. Whatever. So if Mark wants to have sex with someone, she'll want him to prove his love first, cross his heart, hope to die, maybe slay a dragon or two.
I don't imagine that Chastity thought that true love came with our awkward fumbling that night. She said she thought I danced well and must be good in bed. That's like the best way to make one's dick go soft in one second.
"If I didn't go out last night, would I be the one Chastity had sex with instead of Jamie?" LJ wanted to know.
"Kid, would you even know what to do if Chastity found you last night instead of Jamie?" Burt snorted.
"I know in theory!" LJ protested.
We all laughed at him indulgently, but I had to hide the insecurity in mine. I didn't say that I also only knew what to do in theory. I didn't realise that she would be really small down there, or that your dick doesn't just automatically know where to go. I didn't know where to put my elbows, where to put my knees, whether or not I was crushing her.
She seemed to like it, squealing when I entered her, which honestly did feel quite good, and mewing continuously as I rode her. I was convinced that she was just pretending to like it, because this is what she looked like when she sings, all bright toothachey sweetness. After that, I couldn't help but wonder if all the girls had sex the way they sang. Each showcase we went to, I would watch every girl group's performance and imagine them in bed, looking the exact same way.
Inevitably, I came before she had a chance to, and since she looked so disappointed, I felt ashamed of that. She still smiles at me in the hallways when we cross paths, but as if we never had sex that one time, as if it was some experiment she wanted to try and failed.
I looked at LJ, grinning mischievously as he detailed exactly his theoretical knowledge on sexing someone, and I thought he would have been a better lay for Chastity, he should have been in that room instead of me. Also, he's a better dancer, one of the best in our industry. His body is so fluid, you wonder if even his bones were flexible. Much later, when he made Rock Star and became the country's number one sex symbol, one of my first thoughts were "Tsk, Chastity, you really lucked out."
When the other boys left the dorm room and it was just me and Steve, he crawled into his bed and said, "Did you like it?"
"What?" I had blurted that out more strongly than I wanted.
"Did you like the sex?"
"Of course," I said, a little too loudly.
He looked at me for a long time, not saying anything. "It was awesome," I added. I was so unnerved by how long he was looking at me. Just say something, damn it.
Finally, he closed his eyes. "If you say so," Steve said, and pulled his blanket over his face.
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