Endless Vertex

LV 5

Chryiss

Writing: 5 There are a few odd sentence constructions, but overall, it’s very good with a nice range of vocabulary. Updates: 5 Seems fine to me. Story: 3 The beginning is an ok start. It reminds me of a military mission (especially with the use of nicknames/codenames like Serpent) but that mood quickly disappears and is never seen again in the rest of the chapters, so for consistency and introduction of story expectations, I don’t think this is best way to begin. More importantly, however, the plot jumps all over the place. It’s a real shame because the level of writing is actually quite high, but the story suffers from clear direction and imperatives. There’s the whole Warrior cultivation going on, but for Atlas who’s the MC, there isn’t a clear drive or goal like be the best/rise to the top. After learning that the animals were like his family, we never hear from them again or why or how he’s closer to animals than humans filially. What kind of life is Atlas aiming for? At this point, he just works as an assassin basically, but the action/events don’t clearly lead or build up to something. Maybe the goal could be revenge (which cliche, it can still be done refreshingly). Anyway, the events need to have a purpose in building to a climax, and that importance and direction should be clear. Character: 3 Atlas is developed and characterized just fine. It’s all the other characters that are a problem. There’s simply too many of them. When Nam died I literally felt nothing. Why? Because I didn’t get to know him enough. When Atlas was upset over Nam? Still felt nothing. Why? Because the importance of Nam to Atlas wasn’t conveyed strongly enough. The better option would be to kill him off later after forming those deep connections. Yes, make the reader suffer upon his death! Looking at Crow. Ok so Atlas is going to help him reach the next tier. But why?? Is this necessary? Will they go on missions together? How does Crow affect the rest of the plot and the next events? He wasn’t spoken of again after those first few chapters. Hugh is fine. I already commented about Iris. Kristine is better. Just be careful of not individualizing and developing the girls in a story. Very easily they can become props or background ornaments in stories like these. In general, don’t introduce so many characters. Develop and demonstrate their character and backstory to the reader and then continue weaving them into future events. If they aren’t mentioned for some time and reappear much later, then they should’ve been presently clearly and memorably enough that readers won’t be like huh, who’s this again? Stick to a literal handful of named characters, at least in the beginning. Unnamed side characters don’t count of course. World: 4 This okay overall. I feel like I don’t have a sound grasp on the cultivation tiers and how Warriors fit into society as well as their skills/duties etc. The details of actions and objects is done well, but the settings are unclear in parts, the moving from scene to scene. We go from Africa to house to orphanage to school in 21 chapters. This is a bit much. Exactly 4 overall. Your story has a lot of potential. The MC is crazy in a good way and is layered. The writing is high quality (just be careful of weird constructions). It’s just the lack of urgency or direction to plot and the over abundance of characters early on which spoil it.

LV 3

limit_breaker

Ok! I took down my original comment and shall grant you five stars this time! I see that you have made many changes in the plot and it has truly made the story escalate to a higher standard! I hope to see more updates and please post more often! YOU THERE! YES YOU! Hi.

LV 4

JVenior

You can absolutely tell that the author loves and cares for this story, it really shows. The grammar has the occasional error or mistake, but nothing worth ripping the page out and starting over. A quick skim through can fix nearly every issue I picked up. Also, updates are absurd. March 7th was when the author started, and he/she is already up to 23 chapters? What? That's more than one chapter a day on average for nearly an entire month. That's genuinely respectful, and worth the 5/5 score completely. Definitely adding this story to my library, as well. It's fun and interesting, with a loving author who clearly is invested and will remain faithful and consistent for months to come. Good stuff.

LV 3

ExperimentalWriter

Hello, Don't mind the unusual rating level, 3.8 is considered high-tier by me. To me, this novel looks pretty good. However, I ask that you proofread your novel at least once after writing, as there are a few grammar mistakes. Otherwise, I can't offer you too much more advice. Your writing actually seems very similar to mine when I was a bit younger, I can tell that you're at a stage where you have the skills in language arts to begin writing a webnovel, unlike the bad fanfiction that plagues this site. At his point in your writing career you should really think about developing your unique style, you're almost there. To improve, I think there are two things to do: first is to think. Think about what your readers will think when they read the conversations and sentences, because some of them don't flow vey well, and occasionally the dialogue is a bit too cliche or edgy, although that's very normal for us ******* writers. The second is to READ. Find an actual complicated 300 page novel for adults that fits the tone of what you're writing, or is at least in the same genre. Read a book about post apoc or dark mercenaries with superpowers trying to make their living in a corrupt world. An author's writing style is a compilation of everything they've read, so by reading you can get much better at writing artistic and meaningful sentences in your work. For my novel, I read up a lot of HP Lovecraft's horror stories, who is what I based the MC on. Like my MC, he is sometimes arrogant and condescending, and writes in a very fake-polite tone. You can see that reading helps develop character. Before I go, you replied to my thread about reviewing novels... So now you have an obligation to read mine. MUHAHAH! Don't worry, it's only 6K words. :D

LV 4

Copy_Paste_Ninja

I liked the plot and the way you write it. Very good novel. Also you have a few chapters so its easy to clutch to it. Hope you keep the good work ;)

LV 10

bacon_bacon

Shamelessly reviewing myself yet humbly giving myself a score that is not 5 stars. This is my first time writing a novel so really hope you like it. It is difficult writing in a second language but I truly enjoy the process. Thank you for reading my novel. It is a great honor for a student like me. ^_^

LV 4

NEidarous

I like it. Good story with great slow build of the story development which I actually enjoy. Good writing quality and great world background. Highly recommend it. Great work author.

LV 10

bacon_bacon

Feel free to comment and give feedback. I’m really striving to improve my writing skills and language expressions. If you enjoy Endless Vertex, save it to your library or share it to others. /:) Thx for reading and have a nice day!

LV 5

Dee1

This story is gripping right from the first chapter. The writer gives very vivid descriptions of scenes, it's almost like I'm watching a movie in my head. This book is really good, I find it hard to believe it is your first novel in English, apart from a few errors, you write really well.

LV 2

Holy_Spirits

I find the first chapter funny.... because elephant can talk.... I also love he action scenes. Very descriptive and I can imagine. Update more often!!! I wanna see fighting!!!!

LV 4

chonnie

I found that the first chapter really drew me in. I can understand the writing perfectly. It's straight to the point and distinct, however I prefer writing that has a little more oomph to it. Just a suggestion. MC is great. I had such a fun time reading through his head I'm hype to see how his journey goes. Good luck to the author!

LV 5

DriftingCloud123

This is kind of shounen type story with a unique mc. He has an interesting way to see the world and a mysterious past that makes you want to learn more about him. The pace of the story is good if sometimes a little rush, but it goes perfectly with the mood and style of the whole novel. But sometimes events feel like totally random or forced to happen just to advance the plot. Another thing I noticed, is that some scenes are done as if it were a movie. A good example of this is when Hugh is introduced in chapter 5. I got the idea of how the scene would be. But if you don't make a clear separation, others may find it hard to notice when the scene of Hugh being chased starts and when it ends. But that's just my opinion you can take it or leave it. The world building is good but I would like to know more about how the warriors mix with the normal society. It could lead to some plot holes if their role is not well defined. Maybe in the following chapters, I will discover more (I'm just at chapter 16 now). Except for that, I like the idea of a modern setting with the whole martial artists and warriors in the shadows. As for the characters, the mc personality feels unique and is really well done. It is one of the many strong points of this novel. The only thing I would point is that some of the side characters often feel plain in contrast with or the main character. But I think it is mostly because the mc is too well done while the rest are average. Overall: This story is a great read for those who want something with action and have a fun read at the same time. Also, If you want to take a breath from the classical cultivationstories then you should give it a shot at this novel.

LV 4

Knossos

First off, only some minor grammatical errors, awkward wording, very minor. But the creativity, dialogue, and plot all come together to form a pretty nice story.

LV 5

MyCharacterLeads

Salute! 👍 This novel really amazed me..👏 Such vivid descriptions of fighting scene were amusing. (I've been trying to write one, but it was truly hard in my part. 😂) Love the sense of humor of Atlas and his companion, especially Percy.. Haha Though with some unnoticeable error in writing, i give this a full mark for its a GREAT story... Keep it up! Never drop this🙅🙅.. It has a potential... I swear! 👍

LV 12

Vorie

Your novel reads well. You also write well. It's got a lot of action and great for those readers who love action. The story progresses and moves along. Your writing is very descriptive. So far I like Atlas as a character.

Hi! This is kera, an editor of the international writing contest SWA II. I believe your book has great potential, so I invited you to join in a week ago. Please reply to me so I can discuss this with you in detail.

LV 1

PlutoFish

Hey Ethan, gotcha! Dude, this is a beautifully written book. Have yet to complete reading, but so far it's great! I'm not kidding it's so well structured. l will use this as my inspiration to write my own books. Thanks! ~Your classmate :)

Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact geekyteddyyo@gmail.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.