บท 5: Chapter 4: Sa ♡
Chapter 4: Sa ♡
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
As soon as his pencil fell on the ground he snapped out of it and understood there was no way he could concentrate. He had a hard time doing so all morning but he ignored Yoongi who told him to go home as no one would have wanted having half-ass designs for their future tattoos. He was working on a large piece which involved a traditional Chinese dragon and normally, he would have finished the sketch in a couple of hours but it was past noon and the paper sheet was almost blank.
He woke up with Jimin by his side in the morning and as lovely as the image was, some thoughts couldn't leave him alone. He knew he promised the boy he would take care of him but a part of him knew it would have been easier to simply let him go before things would become serious and real feelings would be involved. He didn't want that. There was something about the pink-haired boy that outlined his protective nature and as hard as it was for him to admit, it was nice to take a break from his routine.
Jungkook loved BDSM as soon as he realised it was the simplest way in which he could deal with his emotions. There were no blurred line, the feelings had to be outspoken and the rules settled but even like that there have been times in which he only received coldness from his partner. All his relationships have been dissatisfying and disappointing; his subs were either too well trained and he felt like they had no actual personality, either disobeyed when it came to things he couldn't forgive. It was boring, too. Jimin was different – they enjoyed each other's company so much that he sometimes forgot they had an agreement so the previous night has been like a wake-up call. He definitely liked Jimin but physical contact was important for him and so were honestly and trust. He is hurt. Something pulled at his heart at the thought he knew one hundred percent that was true. The student was selfish, thinking he could trick him so he wouldn't lose what they had.
"You have a visitor." Yoongi's voice sounded borderline annoyed so he looked up, surprised that he didn't hear the bell that usually rang when the door opened. Jimin was smiling shyly at him while holding a huge coffee and what seemed to be a paper bag filled with pastries.
"Hello." He whispered. "I hope I'm not intruding."
"You're not. You can take him out of here, he's useless today." Yoongi muttered and Jimin's eyes following his hands as he cleaned his utensils. Jungkook jumped to his feet and hurried to introduce them before thanking the boy for the goodies he especially bought for him.
"I would have brought you some coffee too, Yoongi-hyung, but I don't know how you prefer it."
"It's okay, kid. We have a coffee maker in the back." Jimin face fell for a second as soon as he heard the news but he approached his dom with tiny steps. It was obvious that he was feeling guilty, even if they parted on good terms a few hours before. Jungkook smiled at the adorable sweater paws he became familiar with and leaned to press a soft kiss on a covered forehead. His arm sneaked around the other's middle when he observed how curiously he was staring around the room.
"It's your first time in a tattoo parlour, right?" Jimin nodded and bit on his lower lip. "Do you want me to show you around?"
"Yes. Is that made by you?" A short finger pointed to the poor sketch of the dragon's head.
"Yes, I have an entire catalogue if you're interested." He was so they spent the time until Yoongi's next appointment there, staring at patterns and briefly explaining the steps of tattooing. "Have you ever thought of getting a tattoo?"
"Not really." Jimin's giggles sounded like little bells. "You're really talented, though. Hyung too." Yoongi was about to add something when the door opened and a young blonde girl entered. She was sporting a sleeve tattoo so Jimin understood it was a client and leaned closer to the taller man.
"Let's go and talk in the back." He could go and see how Yoongi was tattooing if he wanted to but decided he could do that a tad later, his priority being to spend some time with Jungkook.
"Are you upset, Kookie?" He didn't know how to answer this sincerely because he didn't know what to believe himself so he ran his fingers through his hair.
"I thought we established that we're alright and that we're going to take things slowly."
"We did, but –" Jimin looked at his white sneakers, all the courage leaving his body.
"Hey." Jungkook cupped his face with both hands. "I mean every word I say, baby. Never doubt that."
"I don't." Their lips met in a brief but sweet kiss that was followed by a longer one, the latter initiated by the student who felt the need of closure. They talked sweet nothings until Jimin had to leave and decided to have late dinner together at the tattoo artist's place.
Jungkook watched as Yoongi wiped off the sweat off his neck. His hyung cared more than he showed for a lot of things and he put a lot of passion in everything he was doing. He would have never admitted but he was his role model.
"Hyung."
"Hm?"
"Do you think Hoseok-hyung would like to spend some time with Jimin? I'd like for them to meet." Maybe spending some time with another sub would make it easier for Jimin to understand what BDSM really was about, especially as Hobi and Yoongi were lovers too. The mint-haired man changed his posture as he heard the name of his boyfriend and left the needle aside in order to look into doe eyes.
"I'll ask him but I'm sure he would."
"Thanks."
He tried his best to be productive but he still wasn't satisfied so he left earlier than usual, stopping at the convenience store on the way home. Surprisingly, he bought a pack of cigarettes and decided to walk all the way to his apartment, puffing from time to time. Jimin was waiting for him outside the building and only then did he realise that he took some good hours wandering on the streets of Seoul.
Dinner was pleasant but the boy felt something was off so he didn't insist on remaining afterwards. Jungkook wasn't feeling guilty; he decided he was gonna start all over again the following day.
Jimin was tugging at the hem of his shirt nervously. He dressed prettily because it was an important day but he still felt unsure about his appearance. He was supposed to meet Hoseok – a person he never saw before – in order to have lunch and go shopping and frankly he was curious about what kind of person was Yoongi's partner. He was about to check the time again when a redhead approached him with a wide heart-shaped smile.
"Hi! Jimin?" He nodded immediately and gasped when the taller boy pulled him into a hug. "I searched for pink hair. Oh my God, you're so pretty!"
"Thank you! You're very handsome too." He felt slightly embarrassed so he felt his cheeks heating as they parted.
"I'm Hoseok, it's nice to meet you! You can call me Hobi, though."
Hobi was magnetic. It was a phenomenon Jimin hasn't encountered before, the boy was simply as bright as the sun and there was no way in which you couldn't feel at ease around him. They both loved dance so that was their first common ground before they figured out many more and lost themselves in endless conversations. They talked briefly about their relationships too and as strange as it was to hear about Yoon, the student was fascinated. Yoongi seemed intimidating but Hoseok was talking about him like he was the kindhearted man out there.
"He was so different when I met him from how he is now."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, Yoongi has been the most sadistic dom. Everyone knew him because of how cruel he used to be during scenes. He'd push his subs until they eventually broke." Hobi took another bite from his lunch. "It was all consensual, of course."
"And now?"
"He gave up on a lot of things he used to do because he understood I could never go through some of the things he usually requested." He chuckled. "Truth to be told, I'm very much of a crybaby and I can't handle pain that well."
"So he gave up? I'm sorry but wouldn't it have been easier for him to look for someone else?"
"He wanted me and I was selfish enough not to push him away." Hoseok smile widened as he spoke. "He told me he didn't feel lonely when we were together."
"And didn't you have problems because of that? Doesn't he miss it sometimes?"
"I don't think so. Of course we argue from time to time but it has never been because of that. We're happy."
Something about the way he said it made it clear that there was no doubt when it came to their feelings and Jimin could only feel his insides warming at the idea. It was rare that someone would give up on such a big part of himself for his lover's sake. He would have loved to be able to say the same thing one day but he didn't want to spend too much thinking about improbable things.
"I'm sure Jungkookie will treat you right. He's a very good dom, even if he is young. I was surprised to hear he would try Ddlg but Yoongi told me he had a serious crush on you so I guess it's understandable."
Jimin gasped surprised. It was the first time he heard something like that but it was normal for Jungkook not to wear his heart on his sleeve. He made it clear many times that he liked him and that he would have liked more than just a contract.
"I'm afraid I disappointed him with how little I actually know about BDSM. I need more training than he thought I would."
As expected, Hoseok didn't know anything about that because Jungkook preferred to keep his private life confidential.
"I thought you had a dom before...?"
"Jungkook made me understand that he's been abusive." The redhead's features hardened as soon as his brain processed the meaning behind the words. "I don't know the right type of BDSM." His little hand was covered by a larger one, elegant fingers squeezing his encouragingly.
"I can promise you that Jungkookie would never try to hurt you like that. He's very caring and I'm not saying that because he's my friend."
They got along amazingly and by the time Jimin took the bus home he was confident that he found a good friend in the other. When Jungkook called him that night he couldn't shut up about how happy he was to have spent the time with Hoseok and he felt that his dom was glad that they got along. When a double date was suggested he was eager to accept it, curious to see how Yoongi usually was around his boyfriend.
A few days passed and things got progressively worse for Jimin. Some people insisted on bullying him at uni for his choice of clothes and he felt lonely, his mind playing tricks on him. He found himself calling Jungkook randomly in the middle of the day, asking if they could spend the afternoon together.
"Did something happen?"
"I'm not ok." His lower lip was wobbling as he admitted that.
"Do you want to go out? Did you cut?" Jungkook sounded alarmed so he whispered a tiny "yes" before they decided to meet at the elder's place. "I'll be there as soon as possible, baby, hang in there."
You wouldn't have said his wrists were slaughtered. He had a fake smile on that disappeared as soon as their eyes met and fat tears began rolling down his cheeks. Jungkook embraced him tightly, before struggling to unlock the door with him still in his arms.
"It's okay, baby." The elder said as they entered the hall. "You're with me now." The younger felt like a child that was taken care of but he gave into that feeling, enjoying the strong hands that were guiding him. "Do you want to talk about it?" He shook his head absentmindedly and furrowed his brows when he realised they've entered the bathroom.
"What are we doing here?" His voice was raspy and small.
"Daddy wants you to roll up your sleeves, kitten. Do you think you can do that for me?" He wasn't proud of himself and sniffled as he moved the material, pieces of it stuck to his bloody wounds. He whined at the sudden pain. "Fuck. This is so messy."
There must've been more than twenty fresh cuts on each wrist and Jungkook needed to gulp in order to calm down his sensitive stomach. He never dealt with self harm so he could only imagine what kind of horrible thoughts could trigger this kind of behaviour.
"I want to disinfect them, is that okay with you?"
"Yes." Jimin sobbed and watched as the other searched for a soft white towel he immediately soaked in warm water in order to remove the dry blood. Jungkook's hands were gentle but he still hissed and began moving his weight from one leg to the other as pain ripped through his body. His eyes became glistening once again.
"I'm sorry, baby. Just a little more, I promise." The alcohol that replaced the water was a thousand times worse but Jimin didn't try to pull away anymore, instead resuming to silent sobs and harsh bites of his lower lip. When white bandages covered his skin he let out a long sigh as if he was defeated and barely felt the fingers resting on his hips. "Minnie." No answer. "Minnie, look at me." It didn't sound like an order but cinnamon eyes immediately search dark browns.
"I'm sorry. All I ever do is disappointing."
"I'm not upset." Jungkook shushed him and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "I'm happy you came to me. I'm not disappointed, I'm hurt that you treat yourself so cruelly." Jungkook wanted to know what happened, why he did all that but it was clear that the student didn't feel like talking about it or about anything for what mattered. "What have you had for lunch?"
"A pretzel."
"How is that a meal, Jiminie?" If the younger wouldn't have looked so miserable, he would have punished him but he let that one slide. "Let's get you something to fill your tummy with."
He didn't have actual food in his fridge but he managed to prepare some sandwiches he made sure the younger ate up before going to the bedroom and enveloping him in his arms. It was too early for them to lie down but Jungkook didn't want to stay silent either, wondering if he could make the other slip into little space.
"Do you want us to do something fun together, baby?" The boy studied his face curiously, probably wondering what that could mean. "We can draw something together, I have a lot of crayons and sharpies. Or we can read somethin –"
"Drawing is okay."
Jungkook looked around for everything they needed and spread white sheets all over his desk, gathering the things he needed for work and putting them away. He was usually very organised and it was the first time he was allowing someone to use his personal utensils but somehow the idea didn't sounded as appalling as it usually did. Jimin grabbed a black sharpie and began to contour the sketch of an elephant without a word, feeling Jungkook's eyes following his every movement. It made him feel little.
"You draw very prettily, baby." The elder praised and moved him so he was now sitting on his lap on the huge chair. "Do you need help?" Jimin nodded and offered him a pink crayon. "Should Daddy colour the elephant pink for you?"
The boy smiled but nodded enthusiastically at the idea.
"How about we draw a bowtie on his tail, huh?"
"It's a her." It was a mumble but it was better than nothing so Jungkook kissed a chubby cheek before proceeding to draw the ribbon the younger immediately coloured red. "It looks good."
"Good? It looks amazing." He could feel the student slowly relaxing with each praise so he continued to pepper him with little compliments as they finished their masterpiece.
"I bet you can draw nicer things." The uncertainty in the little's voice hurt so Jungkook tried to make it go away by any means.
"No way. You're very talented, kitten. Could Daddy put this on his fridge?"
"Yes." He hurried to do as he told and found out a focused Jimin once he returned, this time using crayons only in order to draw some flowers. He was following his instinct as he completed picture after picture and he didn't realise when the time passed so when Jungkook asked him what he wanted for dinner his eyes widened in confusion. "I'm not hungry."
"Eating it's not up to discussion, baby."
"Okay."
Jimin was awfully quiet as he ate and when his dom requested to check on his wounds. Some of them started bleeding again when he changed the bandages but their owner didn't flinch, his stare lost.
"Do you want to stay over tonight?" The pink haired boy sighed and buried his face into the chest in front of him, his body going limp. "You can pick anything you want from my closet."
The shorter boy dressed a black shirt he was drowning in and a pair of shorts before slowly climbing on the bed and curling on a side so he was facing the wall. It was clear that he had a hard time opening up, maybe there wasn't enough trust built between them. Jungkook moved slowly, feeling the mattress dipping under him as he reached the other and pulled him to his chest. His fingers began to stroke soft pink in what he hoped to be a comforting manner.
"You don't have to do so much for me." Jimin's whisper was almost inaudible.
"I want to take care of you." I want you to allow me to take care of
Note
! I hope you enjoyed this chapter even if it involved a mix of emotions and that you're looking forward to the continuation ~ I feel like they're getting to know each other better and Jiminie is slowly opening up and learning to act freely around his Daddy, which is pretty cute if you ask me (ノ*゜▽゜*) I'm always eager to read what you think about the story so please feel free to comment! Take care of yourself, darling! x
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