บท 42: Vows Beneath the Willow, Vows Under the Moon
Li Wei was awfully silent for a while.
Perhaps in this encounter, it was because she was his daughter. Even if he finds out... She feels everything will still be okay. Because of their relationship, she was not afraid of him as others would be.
With a resolute tone, she bravely asked the question she was most afraid of. "Father, have you heard of turning back time?"
Yue Shangwu was happily surprised she wanted to know. Even if his best disciple Song Yishan asked, he would simply ignored it. But this, she was his daughter. "It's not entirely impossible, but like all dark sorcery, there is a heavy price attached."
"If, imagine if you learn about my identity after I've died from poison. What would be your first reaction?"
His child was murdered? Her life cruelly ended before she really began living? He grimaced from the horrifying scenario.
Yue Shangwu was blessed from his birth with the mark completed on his skin. He bore the full mark of the moon as soon as he was given life.
In his teens, he became the most powerful sorcerer his family ever witnessed. If Yue Biya wanted to practice magic, he would openly accept her as his second disciple. "Child, so you are interested in magic. Afterall, you're my daughter."
Yue Shangwu laughed loudly in satisfaction. He couldn't tell if she resembled him in appearance, but they shared at least one interest so far. His mood was good, so he decided to tell a story. "Before you were born, an old friend said I would one day reset the universe. I didn't dare defy his vision, but you know what I said? For my child, no price is too high. Even at the cost of my life, I'm willing."
"The one who turned against the orders of the heavens will receive retribution soon. That's to say, if it's not yet occurred." Warnings of the High Priest filled her head. Reversing time was against the flow of life. An enchantment of black magic...
Li Wei felt as if she was struck by lightning. Her father loved her so deeply. Even after being separated for her whole life, he still won't hesitate to gamble against the odds on a second chance for her.
To pay with his life... His response held such sincerity and selflessness that she quickly spoke, as if confessing to a crime. "Father, I am here today because of you. And you, you're now blind because of me..."
"What are you saying, child? Why are you crying?"
Li Wei searched for his hand. She trembled from the immense pain coarsing through her body. This life, she owe it to her father. "I... I've already died once."
With that one line, Yue Shangwu understood the words she left unspoken. His old friend, the High Priest's insight came true. If this was Chu Biya's second life, then blindness must be a result of his defiance.
Yue Shangwu held her hand in comfort. Even so, what can be compared to seeing his daughter safe and sound? He patted her hand in assurance. "It's alright, Biya. To have you here is worth more than anything else."
"F-father..." Li Wei felt such strong gratitude for her father's kindness there was no words befitting of her feelings. In the comfort of his presence, tears of relief came streaming down-- a mixture of sadness, joy, and bitterness.
During their conversation, her father had uttered no words of anger or blame, only words of encouragement and support. In all her life, she never knew such an amazing feeling existed.
To suddenly find out she had a father who loved her, it was the equal of taking flight from the clouds into the air in the most beautiful world. No matter how high off, the landing would undeniably be soft. He would be waiting for her with open arms, even if she came crashing down.
. . .
Yue Shangwu sat by the window sill of the guest room. Song Yishan had gone to sleep. That young lass was still simple minded and naive. With a full stomach and a comfortable bed, he was instantly gone.
At once, Yue Shangwu drank the jug of rice wine in his hands. To die of poison... Her cold voice told him she led a miserable life full of regrets. He didn't know the specifics of her previous life, but he knew more than enough.
If the situation was laid in front of him, there was still no doubt he would go so far as against the heaven, against all he was taught, and against his own power. The biggest regret in his life was not giving his love to Tang Qilin. Rather, he regretted not being in his daughter's life.
What if others scorned her for being an orphan? What if there was no one to protect her when she was bullied? Was there at least one person who loved her or was she lonely all her life... like him?
From now on, he would make sure to protect her. They will live happily, both father and daughter.
Yue Shangwu wiped the single drop of tear off his face. He closed the window and the sight of the full moon disappeared at once.
There was one thing he kept from his daughter. Not only did he become blind, but his magic was fading.
He was no longer as powerful as he used to be, and with time, would lose it completely.
. . .
Li Wei sat under the willow tree alone. Deep inside, she felt unbearably guilty. She felt undeserving of her father's sacrifice. He had bet all his chips on her, the least she could do in return was to the same. There was no problem with her father, the issue was the woman who gave birth to her.
Tang Qilin let go of her life to be with her lover, abandoning her child and leaving her loving husband.
It was hard to admit it... she was similar to her mother. There was a saying, the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree.
Why, why was she like her mother out of all people?
A rush of hatred filled her body. Li Wei hit her chest in anger with all her strength.
"Ahh!" She screamed into her hands so no sound could escape. When her voice was gone and she could no longer speak, she fell backwards onto the ground. Her chest was heaving heavily and her face scorching hot.
San'er, Hui, Li Fahrin, Yue Shangwu, and Khan Bojing... Li Wei knew she didn't deserve their kindness or love. She felt guilty, ashamed, and loathed herself. She was simply not good enough.
Her eyes glanced briefly on the half completed mark on her skin before fluttering back to the night sky. After a long while, the hopeless gaze of her eyes started to burn bright as if lit up by a sudden spark.
She was not alone, she never was. She has gotten this far already, retreat is not an option.
To jump high, one must crouch low. The more it hurts, the more she has to endure and stay strong.
She vowed to never be like her old self again... To be better than her mother. To love and cherish those around her. To be kind, thoughtful, and loyal.
She wouldn't die of regrets. Instead, each regret is inspiration for a new change. Where regrets lingered, flowers would bloom in its place.
Li Wei closed her eyes, finally feeling inner peace with herself in the calming night of the full moon.
To turn back time was her father's will. To keep her memories was... perhaps heaven's last gift.
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