Can I really keep my Goddess Wife away from the Crazy OP MCs?
นักเขียน: KiraMinoru© WebNovel
บท 1: Prologue.
"Achooo."
When I heard a sudden sneeze from behind, I turned around curious as to the identity of the perpetrator that dared sneeze on my back. But the next scene could only be surmised with a single word.
Breathless.
The last thing I remembered was that single word. Yes, I was left truly breathless and stunned.
When I looked all around now; the last scene that played through my mind left me puzzled.
Sitting before me, an old man sipping on tea looking towards me like something disgusting he would rather never see again in his life.
Silence.
We simply stared at each other without voicing a single word.
After a while it felt really awkward so I broke the ice with a charismatic approach.
"I know I'm a handsome man whom ladies can't help but adore, but you don't need to stare so many daggers into my body."
"Tch."
After the old man clicked his tongue he retorted back, "handsome? Fudge you and your ugly duckling face! I've seen pigs more attractive than you."
I am truly shocked, how can this old man not understand the greatness of I. My looks so majestic they could have countless ladies fall to their knees in worship. I must really give this rude old man a good talk about life.
It seems the old man saw through what I thought. He snorted to himself in disdain with scrunched up brows. "What the hell is so good about this narcissistic mortal brat?"
"Narcissistic? Who is?" I posed a question that surely baffled even the gods themselves with complete confusion in my eyes.
The old man instead ignored my question and asked, "you know you're dead right?"
"Dead? Who? Are you talking about yourself old man? Do you or I look dead to you? Although… you do look pretty close to having one foot in the grave. Could it be you've actually gone senile? Do you need someone to change your diaper?"
This old man must have a few loose screws to think I'm dead.
Veins had bulged out on the old man's forehead. He took deep breaths to try and calm himself down. It appeared he was already at his limit and wanted to rip my vocal cords out of my throat. I'd never seen an old man lose his cool so quickly before. It was a first for me. Usually I only saw people my age with such a face when they looked at me. If I had to be honest it was a bit refreshing in its own way.
"If it wasn't for my daughter, I'd definitely wipe your soul out of the cycle of reincarnation."
Ah. His detest for me was worse than I thought. Should I be proud?
"Brat, you have three choices."
"Number one, I annihilate your soul; which would be the most preferable choice. I highly recommend choosing this option."
"Number two, you enter the cycle of reincarnation now and never come back. I would strongly advise against it. You would do the cycle of reincarnation a favor by not entering it."
"..."
"I thought you said there were three choices."
"I changed my mind, it's two now so just choose one."
"But how can I reincarnate? I'm clearly not dead."
"Says the moron who died because he was so shocked he forgot to breathe."
"..."
"What?"
I blinked like an innocent child not understanding what he was told.
"I said you're lower than a pig. At least a pig can remember how to breathe."
Now that I think about it, the last word I remembered before I met this old man was... breathless. After that, I suddenly found myself in front of this rude old fart with eyes that could not see Mount Tai when it was directly before him.
Now that I thought further back though. When I turned around after I heard that sneeze, what came into view was an unmatched beauty that certainly had no equal beneath the heavens.
A figure that drove any man to insanity with senseless maddening dreams. A complexion so fair and refined it brought shame to even the heavens. Her eyes rippled like a lake that reflected the starry sky. A single look into them left your heart racing at hundreds of miles per hour. Those soul stealing eyes threatened to force your soul to leave its body. Her lips pouted slightly after she sneezed. It was a picturesque scenery unlike any other I had ever seen before. One look at her and I even believed my life was complete after I bore witness to her divine visage. It was a sense of unknown fulfillment I'd never felt before in this unrelenting cruel world. The sunset behind her truly made her look like a holy maiden that had never been defiled. A one of a kind goddess. If I had to say it, it was probably love at first sight. I was left utterly defeated and breathless, lost in countless strange emotions I didn't fully understand.
After that last final scene in my memories I was greeted with the present situation.
"Damn it! How dare you have such wretched thoughts towards my daughter?! Come over here quickly so I can wipe those memories clean and toss you into the cycle of reincarnation!"
The old man suddenly opened his eyes wide as if something terrible was about to happen.
"Quickly boy come over, come over, this senile old man was only joking. See? I have some candy here. Don't worry, it won't hurt you. Come take it and eat it quickly without any further delay." For some reason the old man's gaze turned very warm towards me like he had seen his own kin.
Inexplicably, I felt a great sense of dread when he held out a red and a blue pill shaped 'candy' towards me. Was I a kid that he wanted to kidnap?
"Father! What are you trying to do to him?!"
A pleasant on the ears melodious voice anxiously cried out from the sliding door behind me.
"Tch. So close."
"Hahaha what are you talking about my darling daughter? I'm just getting acquainted with this thing you brought back."
The door slid open and her intoxicating voice sounded out once more and declared, "he's not a thing!"
"My daughter you should really reconsider! If you give a man an inch he will take a mile! Especially when the man is lower than a pig. I understand you feel remorseful about your moment of carelessness when you accidentally sneezed and blew your cover. I also understand it resulted in some insect catching a momentary glimpse of you and inadvertently led to his death. Sure, your beauty left him stunned senseless and made him forget to breathe. Sure, that may have also caused him to pass into the afterlife early, but can that really be blamed on you? It is absolutely not your fault! Besides, who cares if some random insect in a mortal realm dies before his time?"
I turned my head in her direction and directed my gaze at the woman's face. Unlike before, she had a white semi transparent veil that covered her face. It seemed she was rather annoyed about what her father said about me.
"Isn't it all your fault that I'm still single at this age?!"
Her voice was laced with a bit of anger and a tinge of resentment.
"My darling daughter, this cannot be blamed on me; it's just those ants are not worthy of my most beloved daughter. Besides, can you really say any man has caught your eye in all these years?"
"That may be so, but if it weren't for you keeping males at a distance and scaring any who had such thoughts towards me away, do you think I would still be single?"
"Father, this is the last straw! The one I want to be with is my decision to make, you will not interfere in my love life any longer! If you do, I will cut all familial ties with you!"
I really wished I had some popcorn right now. This was certainly quite the great drama scene.
"Y-y-y-y-you unfilial daughter! How could you say such a thing?" The old man was definitely on the verge of tears.
The daughter did not care one bit about his heartbroken complexion. It felt like she had seen it an uncountable number of times already.
"Father I'll forget about the first two shameless options you posed to him for now. Now tell him what the third option is."
The old man ground his teeth together in vexation and stared daggers at me. It was clear he wanted to shoot a hole through my body with his gaze. It was like he could not wait another second to rip my nether hole a new one.
"Your third option is to m… ehem, ehem, excuse me. Your third option is, you can make one request of me. Now choose wisely as you only get one request. I'll let you know, it can be absolutely anything. Whether it be money, fame or power. I can grant anything to you no matter what it may be."
"Father! What are you talking about? That's not what we agreed on! You said there would be three options! Two you decided, while one was what I decided on myself!"
"Silence! How can we merely give him 3 options selfishly decided on only by us? It was your mistake that he died after all. What if he doesn't like any of the three choices we decided on. Therefore he should be given more freedom of choice!" The old man proclaimed it as though he were a righteous sage fighting against a great injustice.
"I can ask for anything?"
"Yes."
"Really? Absolutely anything?" I looked at his daughter for a brief moment before I returned my gaze towards the old man again.
The old man furrowed his brows like he felt things had gone in an undesirable direction. With an ugly expression on his face and deep frown he repeated, "yes."
"But don't push things too far. Learn some moderation. It's a good trait to have. You'll live a much longer life if you do so, my bratty snot nosed courting death little friend."
"Father! Stop trying to inadvertently threaten him!"
The daughter looked at me and said in a gentle voice of consolation, "your death was my fault after all, no matter what you ask, we will definitely fulfill your request."
"Old man, this is my last confirmation. Anything goes, right?"
While he ground his teeth together with a nasty expression on his face he squeezed out another "yes" under his breath.
"I want your daughter to be my slave."
"What?!?! You insignificant ingrate mongrel!"
Boundless killing intent filled the air and the old man looked ready to pounce on me and bite me to death, yet he somehow held himself back.
The daughter looked at me like she was disappointed about something.
I then let out an arrogant laugh and said, "I'm kidding old man. Now that you're enraged enough I feel a bit better. Since you've been comparing the handsome, I, to such lowly things like pigs and insects since we first met, you naturally need to eat some sour lemons."
"Rather than asking something of you old man; I have no interest in anything you could ever give me."
I got up and approached the otherworldly beauty and stood right in front of her with confidence. Now that we stood face to face, I noticed the outline of her eyes behind the veil had peered directly back into my own. Annoyed by the evil viel that obstructed the view of her peerless unmatched visage, I raised my hand and lifted it upwards.
I stared directly into her eyes and finally made my real request.
My next words were not a request. It was a statement filled with conviction as I refused to accept any other answer apart from yes. My entire destiny had been completely altered by her simple sneeze. Whether it was a fortunate event or a calamity I may never know. All I knew at that time were my next words.
"I want you to belong to me. I want you to be my wife. To be with me until the end of time. Marry me."
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