[ON HIATUS] One Piece: Journey of a Lifetime

LV 6

Legion20

Ok, here is my review. Writing quality: 1 star. Honestly, your english is quite bad, and that cripples the novel in all its aspects. Here some examples from chap 1: you can't use .", After every spoken/thought phrase. The period is there for a reason, it already implies a pause, the comma is redundant. In all the chapters you mix up the Verb tenses, by alternating the use of the present ("one can find a young lad") and the past tense"Said lad was a 6'2". In chap 1, but it also happens often in other chapters, you use nonsensical phrases "The driver freaked out when his brakes didn't respond, so much so that he even forgot to turn his steering wheel to avoid hitting anyone. Unfortunately, that's exactly what happened to our assumed protagonist." Afaik this one means that the MC too forgets to turn the steering wheel, and clearly that is not the case. Should have written "Unfortunately, that's exactly what he did to our assumed protagonist." Another example from chap2:"He was standing in the middle of a luscious green forest where insects and birds chirping softly filled the entire place." As it's phrased both birds and insects are chirping softly, plus it comes to the reader's mind that every inch of the place is covered in insects and birds. From chap 21 "As the sun had already set, and the interesting crew of misfit were tucking themselves in for bed" the and is redundant; crew of misfits, plural, a crew can't be composed by a single person. The verb should be was, not were, since the subject is the crew (singular). "Tucking themselves in for bed" makes no sense. It can be either "tucking themselves in their beds" or "tucking themselves in, preparing to sleep". As it is, it seems that by tucking in they get a bed, idk how it would be possible. Also plz try to avoid messing up plural and singular, you do it often. Avoid using too much or too litlle punctuation, try reading out loud what you write to see if is easy to read. If you get out of breath or lose your train of thought something is wrong. Stability of updates: 5 stars, so far you are doing great. Story development 2 stars: Everything feels kinda rushed, expecially in the first 3 chapters. There are so many things wrong with the scene of void Vs gods that would require a review by itself. The MC gets the system because somehow he helped the void, but you never explain why the void actually needs him. Char design, world building: 3 stars, i am not a fan of OP, so I may be biased, but your MC aside, most of the chars and world is the same from the author, so meh! (imo) The MC could be interesting, but he starts with too much powers+knowledge to let the reader experience any suspanse. Even if MC fails changing hystory, worst case scenario is like what happened in OP, and even he knows that all the crew has plot armour (at least until the point he read the published manga). I suggest you doing some proofreading or finding yourself an editor. I know that you write stuff on the fly and proofreading is boring AF, but it's very important if you want to step up the quality of your work.

LV 4

HaremQueen

I’m not writing to get anything out of anyone. I do it cuz I enjoy it somewhat and it relieves my boredom. I wouldn’t mind receiving help from other people so bring me all of your flames.. they shall be my new motivation!

LV 4

ChallengeGod

I'd say, at first this I thought this story had good potential even though the story development at first was a bit rough, I would say it was still good, But the moment I read chapter 6 or 7! I instantly got a pissed at how the so called "MAIN" Character just became a "SIDE" Character for the Original Character Luffy, I mean yeah the so called "Main" Character just wants to have fun and wants to have his own adventure, But what kind of fun and adventure does becoming a Side Character and squeezing in the adventure of Luffy have? Honestly I was disappointed in this since I've been reading alot of fanfics for a long time now and this is probably the first time I have ever read a "Main" Character becoming a "Side" Character. I'd say this is one of those novels that gives a good first impression but in the end leaves us with nothing but disappointment. But I have to admit, the later chapters were pretty good but reading those starting chapters made me have a bad impression. Don't think I'm angry or something since you can always do better in the later chapters and I'm just saying my opinion.

LV 3

Arch_Angel

It’s a really well written piece of fanfiction and I can honestly say that I enjoy the story so far. You can tell that the author writes with passion and consideration for their readers and the story is unique in comparison to other fanfics. Some people might not like the authors idea of following the original plot but I love that idea. It’s the story of one piece that has drawn me to this fanfic so why would I be upset that I’m getting exactly what I like about it. Also I like the idea of the mc actually experiencing the world instead of bs-ing his way through everything. I truly recommend this story to any real one piece fans and hope the author keeps writing. Great work and don’t let anyone else make you think what your writing isn’t good. I like it and will keep reading if you post more.

LV 10

cultivating_neet

If you are an actual one piece fan and know anything about it do not waste your time reading this story. I can confidently declare that reading will make your brain turn into mush and fall out your ears, it's really that bad.

LV 14

Uesama

Good job, with the writing style, i really like it !! 👍👍 And the most good part is mc not 'di*k for brain' type. I didn't mind if storylines same as canon with self-insert, Sugestion of mine make mc like treasures hunter, ruin explorer, informant etc when arive at some island, it can be adventures for mc only or with a companion, and use the system more like buying a book of martial art or anything. Anyways, so far you doing good, keep going !! 😁😁

LV 14

Curiosity44

its a fun novel and i really enjoy the MC and his style, not many fanfics for one piece follow this novels route and its refreshing to read. THE ONLY DOWNSIDE IS LACK OF CHAPTERS!!!!! i know i know the author is doing it for fun and has no need to commit but please author-san if your reading this, upload a mass update for the very important holiday i made up randomly on the day that you read this comment! thank you

LV 6

longchicken888

I really like the story and how it goes on not too fast and not too slow. Please continue your novel and don’t drop it like almost all fanfiction novel.

LV 1

NeaCambelt

la fanfic est trop peu remplie il y a aucune comversation et on a l'impression que le mc est le seul qui parle c'est irritant et fatiguant

LV 2

Imahotpotato

If you guys don’t like it when the mc trains the main character this isn’t for you neither is it for me.................................................................. .............................;..;...................BYE

LV 4

Nadare17

I will change my review after reading this novel from chapter 1 to latest chapter ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺

LV 10

TurtleManiacc

dont drop it !!!dont drop it !!!dont drop it !!!dont drop it !!!dont drop it !!!dont drop it !!!dont drop it !!!dont drop it !!!dont drop it !!!dont drop it !!!dont drop it !!!dont drop it !!!dont drop it !!!dont drop it !!!dont drop it !!!

LV 13

Eternal_life

Great story , at the beginning it was sort of forced , and I did not get wht he did many of what he did , and personally if I stay in an isolated place for that long with no entertainment or someone to speak to; I'll probably break .... ب.ب but if you give it a try , It is suprisingly great , and I like the system (new one) ... any way the annoying part is on .... drum-roll please ..... THERE ISN'T ENOUGH CHAPTERS T^T ... I nearly cried when I found that I'm up to date with the release dear author please pleaaaaaaaase more frequent releases for our poor hearts T^T there is also the grammar and misspelling in the early chapters , well it's to the tolerable level and doesn't get in the way of the fun ^-^

LV 6

GGMissFortune

Trashfic weak MC train for 10 more years before leaving your island to become plot armor for the straw hats mmkay Trashfic weak MC train for 10 more years before leaving your island to become plot armor for the straw hats mmkay

LV 6

GGMissFortune

Trashfic weak MC train for 10 more years before leaving your island to become plot armor for the straw hats mmkay Trashfic weak MC train for 10 more years before leaving your island to become plot armor for the straw hats mmkay

LV 4

TheGodlyReader

its a good book. truly expressing how one might see the anime of one piece. though I hope the book is updated soon, it still brings a sense of adrenaline and excitement to me as the cliffhanger last longer and longer.

LV 5

19Pirateking95

Great job to the author for this wonderful fanfic of my favourite story of anime...one of my most anticipated novel because of the progress of the story .........thank you for this and stay well....

LV 5

Neil028

Amazing!!!.... I give you 5 stars cuz it's still a great story and 'One Piece' is one of my favorite anime..😊😊 I love the story about Josh that didn't change or mess the original story...Just him being a extra story in One Peiece....😆😆 I still quite excited...so Please More!!.... And KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK..😉😊😊

LV 5

19Pirateking95

great story for one piece fans...awesome settings ,character's story,plot story,world background,steady upload of the chapter...great author