บท 220: disorder
All I want is order
Everything in its place
Nothing out of line
And because I want order
Thay say I have, a disorder
.
I just want order
I want stability
Day by day I want things to stay the same
But things allways change
.
Trying to think strate
But my minds in disarray
Can't Evan speak great
My words all jumbled
Meanings get twisted
Then I can't Even sleep,
my mind a weight
.
Tossing and turning
The words I never meant to let be said
In my mind burning
No filter, wish I had it
empty Inside
I wish I wasn't
Need to be filled, but it drains again
Crave stability
but everyone leaves again
.
My brains in disarray
Happy, sad, mad
I feel it all in short spands
Scared, stressed, depressed
Emotions flitting from her to there
.
Nothings stable, exsept my labels
Strange, dumb , unloved
Emotionaly I'm numb
See thees tears, the rage
It's an act, a cage
Hiding the real me
Cold and numb, looking for stability
For order but finding none
.
Round and round my mind runs
Looking for answers
Like why am I numb
Why can't I be loved
How do I stop the draining
Why am I not enough
.
Just some stability
That's all I seek
Somone who won't leave me
Nor threaten to
I need that kind of security
I may be numb
But inside I'm bleeding
Nothing aligned
My life undefined
By disorder
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