บท 18: Changes
After about 30 minutes they finally went to where we are. Atleast they were spared the embarrassment of being watched. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I felt a prick in my chest as I saw their clasped hands and glowing skin. They have bonded. So, what happens to us now?
"Good, you guys are back." It was now only I, Jess PDnim and Sejin hyung plus the newly bonded pair in the room. Bang PD needed to attend another meeting.
"Yoongi-ssi..." Sejin hyung warned and I wasn't able to stop the sigh that escaped my throat.
"Are you okay, Eunjung-ssi?" Jess PD inquired to which Eunjung just nodded once.
"Sunbae, I hope I can sit with Yoongi sunbae for now. He wasn't able to charge enough earlier." Namjoon just smiled, brushed his thumb over her hand before moving to sit beside Sejin hyung. Really? How can they have such a connection? They've just been bonded.
"How was it? Are you okay?" I managed to ask calmly despite my irritation.
"It went okay sunbae. No accidents." And her cheek flushed red, most likely with a memory of that day. I almost choked in my spit when I realized what she was talking about.
"Yah. Eunjung-ah." She just chuckled softly.
"Sorry sunbae. I just remembered."
"Seems like everyone's situated now." Jess PDnim started. "I won't be beating around the bush since you're adults now. Given the situation that we have, Bang PD and I decided that we needed to change your living arrangements."
"I won't have any problem with that." Was my immediate response to which they all blinked back at me until Jess PDnim laughed heartily.
"You sure are quite ahead Yoongi-ssi but you guys won't be living together. Rather, our Eunjung-ssi will move to the dorms for BigHit employees." This was when she looked serious and concerned at the same time. What's with Eunjung? She looks strong and independent so I doubt this would be a problem.
"How about my sisters?" Was her weak reply.
"They will stay at our dorms."
"Why?" I can feel and hear the shake in her voice.
"I'm sure you know the answer to that question Eunjung-ssi." It feels like she's being scolded for even asking. Yes, we all know the reason for this.
"I'd like to speak to them before I make a decision." There it was again. Hesitations. She knew this was needed but why can't she make a move?
"I've spoken to them already. And they are okay with this setup."
"But why? We've always been together." She knew the answer but she can't seem to accept it. Just like bond... Oh! How stupid can I be?
"If I may PDnim, I can see Eunjung's highly uncomfortable talking about this right now. Can we delay this change?" I felt Namjoon staring at me. For sure he's wondering why I'm siding with Eunjung.
"But the more we delay, the riskier it gets. It's already quite dangerous for us transporting you and Eunjung everyday to charge and now there's three of you." This was the first time I've seen the beautiful lady look quite frustrated. She was always cool and composed the times we've met her.
"I know the dangers PDnim. But this is not any of our fault, all these changes are so big. If it's just me or Joon, I'm sure we'll be able to adapt. We've been in this industry long enough to know. But Eunjung, she's still young. And I think this is all too much for her right now. She just bonded with a second mate, which is very rare. I'm sure she's quite exhausted for the day. I hope you guys can excuse us and call us back another day."
I'm sure that I would be scolded for it but I just wanted to take Eunjung out of this uncomfortable space. Maybe we can talk about what's bothering her somewhere else. Maybe she can tell me why she's uncomfortable about all this.
"Sunbae," she tugged at me as we were rushing to my studio. "we shouldn't have left."
She's still being polite. How can she play so cool in front of others when I'm sure she's shrinking inside? "Why?"
She sure was taken aback by the question being thrown at her. Was she always like this? Conforming to whatever is needed to be an idol? If yes, how much more can she bend for her dreams? How much more can she sacrifice given the situation we're in?
"Hyung..." Why the hell is Joon here?! "Eunjung..." he simply said as he closed the gap.
"Na.. Namjoon sunbae..."
"What's up?" I said as calmly as I can.
"Your grip is getting tighter hyung. I'm sure she's gettin' hurt already." And he was right, I was holding her too tight. She just looked at me with those frightened, confused eyes.
"I... I'm sorry Eunjung-ah." Shit! How can I be so careless?
"It's okay sunbae. It didn't hurt really. I'm okay." She said softly, tryin' to console me.
"They told me we'll have another meeting about the living arrangements. But, I hope we can all talk about this right now. Can we use your studio? Or would you rather use mine?"
This is the reason why Namjoon was chosen as the leader. I can feel the tension in his stance but he's keeping a level mind because he wanted to solve this dilemma. Whereas I, I resort to bursting out and throwing a fit.
"I guess my studio then." He declared as he softly pulled Eunjung out of my grasp. I was left to trail behind them watching as he rubbed his thumb over her hand.
Eventhough we were a few feet apart, I can still feel her. She's certainly confused about what's happening. Poor Eunjung-ah, stuck between two boys wanting the same toy. Yes, it's quite obvious, Namjoon likes her. He wasn't shy about it. Wasn't even trying to hide it.
It really is a sight to watch Eunjung's sense of wonder. As we closed the distance to Joon's studio I noticed the sudden change of her mood. Very subtle but it didn't escape my senses. I'm sure Joon felt it too or maybe he won't notice since they just bonded today. And when Joon finally opened the door to his studio, Eunjung was left standing outside, surely wondering how she got here. Like the first time she went to my studio.
"Eunjung-ssi?" Namjoon called to her.
"I... uh..."
"It's okay Eunjung-ah." And she slowly followed us as I guided her by the arm.
"Welcome to MonStudio. I'm planning to rename it but it hasn't come to me yet. Do feel comfortable though." Joon smiled as he welcomed her.
"It looks different." She observed.
"Oh yeah. I haven't shown it to ARMY yet but I will soon." Joon explained. "You like it?"
She gave quick little nods. "Yes sunbae. It fits how you are recently. Calmer, more natural. Besides, I love wood too. I used to have wooden dolls and puppets when I was..." Eujung stopped abruptly as if she didn't mean to share that part of her life.
"When you were?" Joon proceeded to ask and there it was again, the nervous fidgetting.
"Joon, it's okay. We're not here for that." I said as I signalled him about Eunjung. It's good that we're all synced and can understand body language easily.
"Sure. Maybe a story for another day?" He simply said as he flashed Eunjung with his cat smile. She gave a little sigh of relief as she smiled back.
"Did they tell you the plan?" I proceeded.
"I went ahead and asked for some details. Just like what was indicated earlier, Eunjung will be at the BigHit dorms. The ones within the building, that is."
"The dongsaengs will see her more often then."
"Dongsaengs?" Oh shit. I forgot. They haven't been officially announced yet.
"No use hiding it from her Hyung. Better tell her now than her being flocked by those kids without prior knowledge." Joon laughed a little.
I got so used to having those kids around already. We were always in official business and it's the first time I'm talking comfortably to another person aside from my members. It really is hard to keep these things when you're comfortable with the person you're talking to.
"They will debut soon. It's actually a very busy time since the company is preparing for them and us." Her eyes blew out again as I clarified. I'm sure she will be excited to meet the kids.
"Really?! I've been seeing rumors of an upcoming BigHit group but it's only now I got confirmation. You're really expanding." It's a surprise she hasn't squealed though judging her character, I don't think she will. Though it maybe a different scenario if it's about us.
"You will meet them one of these days if you'll stay at the dorm. Better yet, we'll let you meet them before you move." Joon said, as if the move was inevitable.
"I'm sorry for acting the way I did earlier." Again, with the apologies. Why does she always put the blame on herself?
"Eunjung, how many times do I need to remind you that it's not your fault?" I just can't understand why she does this to herself.
"I... I'm sorry." Her head hung low as she said this.
Joon was immediately beside her, caressing her back like they've known each other for a long time. The way Eunjung looked back at him made me want to take her away from here again. What is this?! Am I jealous?! Why would I?!
"It's okay Eunjung-ssi. It's not your fault. And we understand that everything is happening so fast. But the company just wants what's best for everyone. We can't really suddenly move your whole group so they decided to move just you." Namjoon tried to explain.
"It's the first time that I'll live alone plus... Choonhee." She looked at me this time. She realizes that she might not see Choonhee as often as she needs and wants once she's situated.
"Choonhee?" I forgot that Namjoon just met Eunjung's group and not their honorary dorm mate, Choonhee.
"Eunjung's childhood friend who lives near their dorm. They also go to the same uni and are under the same program." This certainly caught Namjoon's attention. I guess he also noticed Eunjung's habits.
"I see. I'm glad you've kept a friend close while being in this industry. I know it will be a big change, specially if she's always been a constant in your life. I'll see what I can do about Choonhee seeing you. That's the least we can do for someone who holds our lifeline." Joon certainly sounded like a businessman right there but he didn't forget to smile at Eunjung once he was done.
"Is there anything else that will change?" As if she knew that her moving to the BigHit dorms is only the start.
"You will continue training as usual. You will also be given your own team to handle your affairs as trainees so we can expedite your debut." She wasn't ready for such news. But I know it was soon, they were all ready. Just a little more polishing and they can debut. And ofcourse, we need to fix their debut album.
"Debut?"
Another trade secret we spilled to her for the day.
"Yes Eunjung. You guys are ready. I've seen your progress reports for our collaboration and we basically don't have a lot more to teach you. I think we're just here for polishing." I spoke the truth. She was already good in production to start. I was basically just teaching her new techniques during our lessons. And her scores in dancing and singing were also exceptional.
"So... we will..." her eyes started to water as she realized that all her hardwork will soon be paid off.
"Yes. You will. And soon too. Sorry for spoiling the news to you but I got quite excited there." Namjoon said apologetically. Sometimes he tends to forget that there are trade secrets we can't spill so carelessly just like what he did now. But well, I'm sure Eunjung will be able to keep it until the companies announce their debut.
"Wow. That's big news. I'm sure you weren't supposed to tell me that." Eunjung teased and that's only when Joon realized what he did.
Joon scratched the back of his neck and smiled sheepishly. "Hyung help me out."
I just had to laugh at that. "Yah. Eunjung-ah. Don't fluster him like that." She just chuckled again.
"So yeah, that's actually what I gathered the past days and today. I don't know about other plans but I'm sure they will tell us of any big changes. I know it can be too much but I'm sure you understand why it's being done." Namjoon switched to business again.
Eunjung gave a long, deep sigh and closed her eyes. She's not a dunce not to know the consequences of bonding with us. However, if this was any other girl, I'm sure they would've been happy to go with everything the company says. We are Bangtan anyway. We are worldwide superstars. And what amazes me is that, she isn't even fazed by our fame. Maybe at first, yes, but that's natural when you see idols but when she started her days with me, it was like I was just a normal person. Not SUGA of BTS, not Agust D. Just me, just Yoongi.
She's not even afraid to show us who she is. Show us her true feelings despite her disappointment in herself. Yes, I felt it as we were walking earlier. She was thankful that I took her out of that situation but there was an overpowering feeling of pity. I have a lot of questions but they would all have to wait until she's comfortable with me, with us for that matter.
"There's no other way to do it anyway. I'm just thankful right now that my second mate is you, sunbae. I can only imagine the trouble we could all get in if it was someone outside of Bangtan." She said, almost as a whisper, as if she was talking to herself. It actually sounded more like she was convincing herself. "Whatever will be best for all of us, will be okay with me given that the future of my members are secured now. Did they say when I will move?"
"Uhm,..." It seems like the next news won't sit well. Namjoon changed his stance. "That's the thing."
"Why?" She asked, but this time her voice didn't quiver.
"They want you to move today."
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