บท 47: This Marriage Didn’t Crumble on Its Own (1)
Mu Jianyu looked at her and for the first time since he asked for the divorce, he now sees how much he destroyed the woman he claimed to have loved. He destroyed her more than he ever thought and turned her into a person he couldn't recognize. Her eyes did not have the shine and smile anymore.
His heart squeezed painfully inside his chest. Was this guilt? This heart-wrenching feeling he had right now… what was it?
"You said our marriage was dying but have you ever tried to save it?" She barraged him with questions, questions Mu Jianyu didn't know how to answer. He was still in shock from seeing her tear-stained face.
"Divorce? Where did that come from? Months ago we were talking about a vacation in the mountains, a vacation both us badly needed. I had no idea our marriage was this awful? I am shocked and devastated. I kept thinking what went wrong?"
"There are days when I thought that maybe this was all a dream and when I wake up things will be back to normal but this isn't a dream, is it? This is a nightmare, a nightmare where I am the only one trapped inside while you act like nothing was wrong." Li Xiuying continued, her voice sounded broken as tears continued to fall from her eyes.
'When you brought Lin Meirong home and made love to her on our marital bed, did you ever think of me?' This was a question she didn't dare to voice out. She could only curse them in her heart because she wouldn't do anything. She will have to face a long road ahead to repair the damage they have caused.
Li Xiuying hated him now. Maybe it was true that the more you love someone, the hate that would follow later would be as intense of her feelings for him. She wouldn't beg him to stay, won't make demands for her sake.
There were some relationships that weren't meant to last forever and that includes this marriage.
The distance between them kept growing and she was left helpless. The problems in their marriage corroded it to the point where it was already unsalvageable. Even if she fights for him, screams for him, her voice would never reach him.
Li Xiuying wouldn't ruin herself to destroy them. This was not the time to fall apart, go into a rage, or get vengeful. She will move forward with confidence that Mu Jianyu would never be able to break her again.
Whether it seems out of the blue or she'd been sensing it for a long time, it was still scary for her to hear her husband say, "I want a divorce." She may be prepared to do anything to save the marriage, including therapy but Mu Jianyu had said that he was done.
"Now, let me remind you that this marriage didn't crumble on its own. You contributed to it. You can't possibly put all the blame on me when you know yourself that you haven't exerted enough effort to make it work for both of us. Since you've decided to part with me, may I remind you not to meddle with my affairs? Whether I date or marry Shen Zichen after our divorce is none of your business." She said in a matter of fact tone that stabbed Mu Jianyu.
Just the thought of her being with Shen Zichen almost drove Mu Jianyu into insanity. No… he cannot allow it to happen but he couldn't also leave Lin Meirong now that she was carrying his child.
If only Ying had conceived a child for him, perhaps none of these would happen. They would remain husband and wife and he wouldn't have to seek another woman to get the happiness he'd always wanted.
Again, she cursed him in her heart, but her face displayed a pained expression that Mu Jianyu would never forget as long as he lived. The same expression would haunt him even in his dreams in the darkness of the night where he would never see her again.
After wiping her tears dry, Li Xiuying silently left her husband. She went to the other hall that was also reserved by her family to be alone. Mu Jianyu could only watch her retreating back as she walked away not only from him but his life.
She didn't intend to deal with him anymore and was willing to start anew in another place where he wouldn't be able to hurt her. He would have nothing to do with her after from this point onwards.
Within the hall, only the dim lights were turned on by the hotel staff. The table and chairs were empty as the guests partied at the main banquet hall and there wasn't a single soul around to witness her bitterness and resentment.
The piano on the stage was the only one left uncovered and Li Xiuying leisurely went up the stairs and sat on the bench. She placed her hands carefully over the keys, making sure it was tuned properly before she began playing a tune she knew from the heart.
It was the song their father composed for their mother during their fourth wedding anniversary and both she and Chuntao took some time to play this piece after their parents' passing.
The music resounded within the empty hall, soothing the pain in her heart, reminding her of the unconditional love her parents and twin sister had given her. She might have lost Mu Jianyu but she would never be short of people who truly loved her.
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