บท 68: Kings of Turin

[Title is a reference to a band I love - do check them out! Great for easy listening or while writing!]

[And sorry for not posting for a long while! It's been a difficult few weeks with community work, my grandpa-in-law getting hospitalised and lots of work...!]

"We can see it now!"

Albert, Sam, Snowie and Bipib crested the last hill that lay between the Swiss Alps and Turin.

The journey was cut short fairly easily as Albert assured his group with confidence that, "Those bugger lizards have no intention of harming us anyway."

As such, they had just abandoned stealth entirely and cut a beeline straight across the mountain range, heading to Turin directly!

Due to that decision (and their stopping by for tea at the den of Lazo'lath, the Elder winter dragon in charge of the security of this part of the Alps), they arrived safely and swiftly in Turin in barely 2 days, on the 25th of August!

'At this rate, I'll still make it to Rome in time to prepare for the Anti-Demon Convention!' Albert calculated carefully, while also sorting through the money he had on hand after they looted the goblins, ogres and vampire party they had encountered earlier.

And when they first caught sight of the city, Sam ooh'd and aah'd at the size, causing Albert to chuckle in amusement, before she punched him in the ****.

But Bipib was not impressed.

While the man was busy rolling around and clutching his lower section, crying in pain and writing down Sam's name in his Dead Note as a reminder to kill her later, Bipib put her hands on her hips and stood up straight to her full 130cm height and declared her thoughts.

"What a small village! Beep. I've seen vehicles bigger than that! Beep."

Albert chose to ignore her, which made the battleship puff up her cheeks in irritation and add insult to injury as she kicked the man in his ****. Her hard metal foot caused a sickening *CRACK!*-ing sound when it impacted his family inheritance, causing the man's eyes to roll up in his head as he passed out cold.

When he awoke later, he was carried on Sam's back and lugged into the city.

Somehow or other, they had passed immigration and quickly boarded a train as they had arrived rather early in the morning that day.

When asked what her preference was, whether to follow them and to head to Rome or to strike off on her own, the toaster oven Bipib puffed up cheeks in irritation again and show him that her preference was to strike a certain other body part.

This time there was no cracking sound - a bad sign... But there were the pained and agonising moans of a man who questioned his existence and identity as a man any longer!

Sam patted Bipib on her shoulder and gave her a thumbs up, winking one eye at the battleship and smiling... While Snowie wisely sauntered off to seduce young boys and girls or men who wanted to impress women. By seduce, it meant to ransack them of food!

By the time the train set off from the station, Albert had settled down - though he somehow scrounged out a metal tray to place against his lap, just in case there were further assaults of his certain body part!

As they began the several hour journey, Sam sniggered, and gave him a bit of advice.

"Albert, that metal is too thin. You need something thicker or stronger, like mythril, adamantium or 1 metre of steel. That piece is too thin! It's like paper, see?"

Then she punched through the sheet of steel with a casual move of her arm, piercing through it and beyond.

Four times in a day was too much for the poor man to bear. He didn't wake up until long after they arrived in Rome.

* * * * *

Albert and Sam stood at the immigration queue along with Snowie and Bipib in Sam's backpack.

Bipib had quickly stuck to Sam's side the moment they got down from the train. And when she heard that she would need to turn into a tiny book-sized toaster oven to get through immigration, she willingly outdid Albert's advice and turned into a palm-sized appliance before hopping in to Sam's backpack, much to the aggrieved man's relief. He could not bear to spend another day with this group of scoundrels! Especially that Sam who taught the battleship girl such bad things in just a span of a few short days!

Then Albert shivered. He had been too careless with his glare - the girl had noticed and was looking at him strangely once more!

Albert curled up on the ground immediately, hands covering his important place instinctively in a Pavlovian response, only to hear the girl chuckle and shake her head.

"Albert! Do you think I'm THAT barbaric?"

*Nod nod*

"..." Imaginary black and grey lines could be seen on the girl's forehead as her eyes half-closed in contempt for the man who had just called her a barbarian with his two nods.

Then she laughed and turned away to line up, saying, "Come on! Don't think so badly of me! How could I do such a thing...!"

But before Albert could sigh in relief, he fear paralysing terror lance through his entire being as he thought he heard an evil murmur of the girl completing her sentence.

"...In public."

He swore to flee as soon as they got through immigration together!

As there was a major event coming up, the checks at the entrance points of the grand city of Rome were much tighter than usual, as was normal for any festivities.

This was also the sole reason that Albert had put up with the aggravating and life-threatening walking disaster... Apart from the fact that she could kick some serious a** and protect him throughout this unreasonably "exciting" journey!

He sighed with relief as they finally reached the immigration counter and Sam stepped forward when there was a counter available for examination.

This entrance screening was conducted with great care, scanning their details in the Uro system, a test that was nigh-impossible to bypass, unless one could deceive the goddess herself!

"Hand here please. One at a time, please line up-- HEY YOU GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING DON'T TOUCH THAT YOU CAN'T -- ARRRGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Albert quickly slipped a few places back in the line as he cringed, covering his eyes. He didn't dare to even look to see what the girl had done this time!

But he couldn't resist. He peeked through the gap in his fingers as the people who he allowed to pass him smiled and thanked him.

And saw a horrendous scene.

The girl had somehow managed to pull off goddess Uro's head in curiosity!

'H-how... Just... Just a few minutes left and she can still cause this much trouble??!?!?!?!?!??!?! How am I going to get us out of this one this time......'

A crying T_T face appeared among the many jeering, laughing and mocking members of the crowd.

* * * * *

Finally after much begging, pleading and a hefty fine taken directly from Albert's Universal Bank account, they made it through the immigration checks, man, girl, cat and toaster oven together.

He sighed as Sam, unperturbed and unrepentant from her earlier misdemeanour, reached out with her itchy weapons of mass destruction A.K.A her hands and said, "OOOH, WHAT'S THAT?"

Words that struck terror in Albert's heart.

And so he fled the scene and shouted, "IT'S BEEN GOOD KNOWING YOU, DON'T COME LOOKING FOR ME, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING BYEEEEEE!!!!!" and disappeared into the distance.

Leaving a stunned Sam who was halfway about to pull off the purple hair of a Laruvian race chicken-man.

She shrugged.

"Oh well."

And continued to pull the hair off the innocent, unsuspecting victim who would be soon taught the rule of survival: The healthy fear of Sam.

* * * * *

As Albert rounded a few corners and looked back to ascertain the True Demon was not following him, he slowed his pace and took on a serious look.

'Sam... I truly appreciate you and all you've done for me. Our friendship, our journey together, our bonds. Our shared struggles and the moments we've cherished together...'

Then his expression grew even more serious and fixed as he strode forward in big, strong steps towards his goal - the castle of Baron Albert de Castro - from which he would begin to hatch his plans for the city and the world at large.

He sighed.

'I'm sorry...'

'No matter how much I care for you, my friend, companion, comrade and even my saviour...'

He walked a few more paces before his heavy heart and soul burdened by emotions forced his steps to a halt.

'...I have to complete what I have sworn to finish... And as such...'

His eyes glinted with sentimentality, determination, tears and also hardened cruelty as he looked up at the sky and questioned why fate had such a cruel plan, both for his life and the lives of those he had shared this path with all these years.

'I cannot spare even you.'

He walked on, breathing deeply and letting out a heavy breath of air.

Before he realised that he left his purse of coins and keys with Sam.

'F***...!'

He retraced his steps hurriedly, lest he return with a purse devoid of coins and a mishappen pile of mangled, disjointed metals... Along with the dreaded words from the girl that he had heard time and time again with his precious possessions.

"Oops".