Slayer of Kings

LV 13

Skully_

Review of Slayer Originality - 5/5 For this site cultivation stories are very common. But this story is quite different. Its a cross between Natural Born Killers and a Cultivation Master Fighting Story - 3/5 There is a great story buried beneath the info dump. I can see it in the Authors imagination but it is really struggling to be communicated in the text. The problem is the writing style. I will give examples and suggestions after the categories. Characters - 2/5 There is an MC, an Antagonist and side characters. The MC is not well defined, I understand he is a master, young in appearance, an expert. But I know little about his goals, motivation or personality. A weak to strong MC can be much more appealing than a straight up Master. But that is for the Author to determine. The antagonist has an issue that he is MC focused or obsessed. I advise you create a personality, motivations and goals for the Antagonist. His life does not revolve around the MC unless the MC stands in his way for a vital objective. OR he stands in the MCs way for his objective. At the moment I cannot tell. Cao just hunts the MC. For Reasons. Flow - 1/5 The flow is terrible. It's an infodump. There is conversation but it is poorly written. There is a description of people and places. But the way it is delivered in massively long sentences which are not well thought out. These are not genius sentences, the language is poor. What could have been said with four words uses twenty. And its repetitive. Examples I have taken an exert and rewritten it. Its much easier than trying to descibe how to improve. FROM THIS Leo then pushed the wrist of the man straight towards his face the knife which was now facing the fat man stabbed into his right eye the fat man screamed in agony as blood along with a gooey liquid rushed out, Leo pulled the knife out of the fat mans right eye when Leo pulled the knife out his eyeball which was slashed in half was visible along with the flesh behind his eye Leo then sent the knife once again to the fat mans face, but this time to his left eye the fat man screamed once again in agony unable to bear the pain of having both his eyes stabbed. Leo did not stop there he pulled the knife out from the fat man's left eye and pierced the fat man's face first he struck on his cheek then on his nose then on his forehead by this time the fat man had stopped screaming which meant that he had passed on but that did not stop Leo who continued to slash the fat man's face 5 more times until the fat man's brain, eyes, nose were all mixed his skull was cracked in many places and his face was covered with nothing but rushing blood from all direction his face was now beyond recognizable. “ TO THIS “ Leo pushed the man’s wrist back towards his own face. As the knife slowly entered the fat man’s right eye, he screamed in agony. Blood and a gooey liquid rushed out as Leo removed the knife. The eyeball still clung to the knife, skewered on the blade, as Leo stabbed the fat man in the face again. This time piercing the right eye as the fat man continued to scream with increasing shrillness. The fat man was unable to bear the pain of multiple stabbings to the face, and his screaming stopped as he blacked out moments before his death. . When the frenzy concluded the fat man’s eyes, nose, cheeks and mouth were indistinguishable in the bloody mess that was once his face. There is no need for thought bubbles (single quotations) in 3rd person when handled correctly. FROM THIS 'I'm sure Cao will be searching for me, I can't stay in this village anymore since it's the closest to the city the chances of him coming here are high' Thinking this Leo TO THIS Leo was sure Cao would be searching for him, he couldn’t stay in the village anymore. It was closest to the city and the chances of Cao coming there were high. Suggestion: I think you should keep writing. It takes 10,000 hours to master anything. I would love it if you try and take on board what I have said and read book of authors. But keep writing, writing and writing. TBH my first 200,000 words were crap. You are doing great.

LV 3

Ryoku9

I like the way story is moving. It's slow paced but it has its good side. Characters are good too. Very few mistakes compared to others. Keep it going! Thanks!

LV 4

Night_317

Well, this is a really good original novel. It's a novel in which I'm able to understand the characters. By chapter 27 as a reader, we know about the goals and weaknesses of each member of the main cast. It's great seeing that their lives are not revolved around the MC's. I also really like that the world feels alive with things happening around it not related to the characters. The world and characters feel alive each with their own goals and weaknesses. I'm looking forward on seeing them achieve their goals and overcome their weaknesses. The WIKI was a really good idea. The world building is good and the writing quality gets better the more you read. All in all I highly recommend this novel.

LV 10

Aishasei

When I read any novel, the most important thing for me is writing style. After reading those first three chapters I have to admit that they are well written. The quality of writing is high. I haven't noticed any mistake. As for the story itself, right now not much can be said. The whole world is unknown to mc. No someone's memories or family members to rely on. That creates opportiunity for us, readers, to explore it with progres of the story. I forgot to mention fighting scens. They are definitely bloody with spinal columns ripped and bodies massacred. At first I found narration of them a bit weird, but after a while I noticed that they give very detailed picture of the ongoing fight. Overall, it's hard to evaluated a novel based on only a few chapters. However, this one seems quite promising.

LV 5

EldridSmith

Though the concepts used aren't unique the author makes them their own, and tie it together well, i don't have anything else to say or critique. keep up the good work!

LV 3

Okay101

This is a really good original novel and I highly recommend it. The way it is going now is really great and I'm excited to see what all comes next!

LV 15

DeJeL

*Remember, this review is based on the first 5 chapters* Constructive Criticism: Fix the typo in chapter 4... I pointed it out in comments. Positive Feedback: I did not see anything wrong with this story other than the typo I pointed out. Persona Feedback: I apologize, this novel is not my cup of tea, I will not be continuing to read it... however, don't let this stop you from writing... for the sake of your fans, please finish this novel.;,;. Score: WQ 4/5 SoU 5/5 SD 5/5 CD 5/5 WB 5/5

LV 3

Okika252

Very good novel and great world building and character progression just a few grammar mistakes but on a whole great book can't wait for more !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LV 4

daoist_om

the story is good but is very slow paced it feels like nothing much happens in an individual chapter due to that pace, I want you info dump organically so it doesn't feel tedious to read the chapter you should increase your word count thanks!

LV 5

HavenlyJeep

- The story is slow-paced, but in a good way. However, there's not much to be found in each individual chapters, as Leo currently stays in one place with no interesting development YET. - Leo, as a character, has a distinct personality. He does what he wants, and seems to be exude a bit of an Anti-Hero vibe to him. The other characters seem to be less interesting. - I like the descriptions the author used to describe the surroundings. Enough to get the readers know where and what he's doing. *Just a suggestion, ignore it if you want: -- I think you need to add more suspense and ******* into the chapters. Add more stakes and conflicts. Because in the initial chapters, there's not much of a hook for the readers to get invested into the story.

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LV 10

peerlessdaoist

Is the novel dropped?????

LV 3

yyaayyee

didn't read you just got me to look at this cause of the kara no kyokai poster thought since it had assassin in the summary perhaps it had the mystic eyes of death perception but no and i didn't read it out of spite

LV 3

Shahrilex

It was pretty good story so far.If only you could update more in a week.I really eager to read more of this story.It feels like this story is happening inside my mind.There are some mistype but overall it was amazing.I hope this story could be one of a top ten story

LV 4

ZeroLinaMent

Well I think this novel is dropped... It has potential... RIP... 101010100101p1p11p11001010101010100101010101010110101000101010101010101010101010