บท 7: He Stayed?

I woke to the sight of an unfamiliar ceiling. I was still in my wedding gown and I had been laid on a couch. After blinking uncertainly at my surroundings, I realized I was still in the hotel suite. I sat up slowly, my eyes aching. The faint light of dawn was seeping in through the windows. A light blanket fell from my chest and I picked up the edge.

Had Julian placed this blanket on me?

I couldn't remember anything after I had broken down last night. I was a little embarrassed of myself for falling apart so rapidly after seeing Julian's eyes. I just hadn't expected my suspicions to be right. The relief I had felt after having that tiny sliver of hope confirmed... as expected, I couldn't be said to be in a stable state of mind.

If there was one thing I had always wished for, it was to live a normal life. To be able to visit my family regularly, make friends who wouldn't try to kill me, to smile when I greeted my husband, stress over my graying hair and aging body.... I just wanted simple things like this.

I got up from the couch and made my way to the bathroom. When I looked in the mirror, I grimaced. My appearance was horrible. My makeup had run from my tears and my eyes were red from crying. I washed my face and headed for the bedroom for a change of clothes.

When I opened the bedroom door, it was surprisingly dark. The curtains had been drawn. I waited a few moments for my eyes to adjust before heading for the overnight bag I could see on a chair, but halfway across the room I froze. Julian's sleeping form was sprawled across the bed, the blankets wrapped carelessly in his legs. His chest rose and fell from his deep breathing.

I thought my heart would stop.

He had stayed?

I didn't know whether I should continue towards my clothing or quickly retreat. On the off chance I woke him up, who knew how he would behave? I wasn't sure if Julian was a morning person or not, as I had never slept next to him and never greeted him in the mornings. When we did stay in the same house, usually I would wake up after he had left. Most of the time he simply never came home.

I finally decided to risk it. I needed to get out of this dress. It was covered in sweat, blood, and tears. I couldn't stand to be in it a minute more. I crept as quietly as I could past the bed and picked up the bag that had been prepared for me. I moved back across the room, only able to let out a breath when I returned to the hallway.

Why was Julian here? Why, why, why?

I clutched my bag to my chest. This was definitely not the same as my past lifetimes! Something had changed. I didn't know whether to grin or scream. If last night was all it took to get this impossible man to stay, why hadn't I tried this earlier? I couldn't understand. What was so different? It's not like I hadn't cried in front of him in my past lifetimes, but he had always remained unmoved. So why?

I began changing in a daze. The explanations I could come up with were difficult to process. The evidence pointed towards my confirmation from last night, that Julian cared, but one question remained: Why? What was his reason for caring, and what had triggered that small speck of a heart inside his chest to yield last night?

Comparing what I had done different last night to my other lifetimes... I had shown incredible weakness in front of him by fainting, but I had also stood my ground. In previous arguments with Julian in my past lives, I had always started strong, but lost steam quickly. I was easily frightened by his anger and had given up halfway through, but last night I had been firm. I hadn't given up. Was that the major factor?

I didn't dare think for a moment I had gained Julian's respect. But maybe I had shown I wasn't weak. That still didn't explain what had made him stay. Was it worry after I had fainted? I had obviously been cared for, at least a little bit. Waking up on the sofa and the blanket were proof of that. I knew if I were to ask, he would give an explanation of convenience. It was the same reason he always gave when he stayed in our marital home without a real explanation, "it's convenient".

I wouldn't buy that excuse this time. I was determined to ferret out Julian's secret. Now that he had given me an inch, I would take a mile!

I exited the bathroom and nearly let out a scream. Julian was standing half-naked in the kitchen drinking a glass of juice. He turned towards me and my breath caught in my chest.

Of course I had seen him in various states of dress, but this was the first time I had seen him in the light without a shirt on. The morning light shown on his flawless skin. If it were possible, I would say he glowed. I wasn't an ugly girl, but compared to the beauty before me, I was plain. Too plain! This damned death god.

Julian turned towards me at the sound of my pitiful noise. I knew I must look awful, with my messed hair and startled face. He ignored me and turned to look out the window out on the city.

"You... You stayed," I managed to get out.

"Mm."

A silence stretched between us, with me unable to advance or retreat.

"Thank you."

"Mm."

I had only whispered it, but it seems he had been listening. Did this... count as a conversation? I felt my lips twitch. I didn't know if I should be happy about this?