บท 453: Dealing with Sheogorath
A/n: Some of you are cringing cuz Sheogorath appeared as Cat thinking I am taking things Hardcore with Catisism again.
Truth is… In Elsweyr, they have a God for Madness and Skooma called the Skooma Cat, Sheggorath – That's all in the Lore, check ESO Quest "The Lunacy of Two Moons" where he makes an appearance.
~~~~~~~~~~
"What's up, Uncle Sheo?" Jon said with an ever-so-patient expression.
"Nephew! Put me down, this is rude!"
"Here you go." Jon let go of the large Alfiq on a small rock.
The other three looked at the striped grey Alfiq waiting for Jon to explain. This was, after all, that very infamous Uncle they heard about.
"What are you doing here, Nephew? Cheese hunting? Wine surfing? Oh, wait! Don't tell me… you are Mushroom hopping?"
"No, no and no. You know me, uncle. I try to keep original in my work. Right now, I am trying to figure out how to kill a bunch of people in a unique way each."
"Oh! That's a nice idea! Can you make one die from excessive cheese eating?"
"You mean dipping people in liquidated food? Hmmm… you know what… this is actually a good idea. We can make all kinds of soups then dip people in and see which kills faster. My money's on the Tomato soup."
"I will go with melted cheese."
"Hah! You'll lose miserably. Getting dipped in melted cheese is the very definition of heaven. Try a Tomato soup."
The two were getting along in an instant despite the dumbfounded faces around them.
But that didn't last long as the two noticed someone staring daggers at them. It was a black cat that appeared on Jon's head and seemed very annoyed.
"You should shapeshift." Jon said.
"Wise idea."
The Alfiq struggled as he started to take another form while being entangled by all the yarn around him. In the end, he took the form of an elderly Breton gentleman with a particular appearance in a pink brocade suit… still entangled in yarn.
"HAHA! It's me! Bet you didn't know that, did you? All surprised now, I see, I see." Sheogorath looked at the ones around him and said with a proud face.
Other than Nefertiti who was cringing, the others didn't know whether to act surprised or cringe. This particular Daedric Prince can be brutal if he was displeased.
"Act as if your Boss said a joke." Jon gave a pro tip as he noticed the ones behind him being in a dilemma.
"... Oh! Amazing."
"Incredible."
"Wow."
With the Gore Flag fully avoided, Jon wanted to get this over with.
"What are you doing around these parts, Uncle?"
"Woah! Straight to the point aren't we, Nephew? Don't you want to play a game first with your old uncle?"
"Something is telling me we are going to play whether I liked it or not."
"You understand me well, nephew."
"And with many lives at stake."
"You really understand me. Here's how it goes, I'll go catch some mortal playthings and throw them in the air, you must shoot them before they drop dead or you'll lose." Sheogorath said.
"Nope. You can throw people all the way to Daggerfall for all that you care about. It won't be fair."
"Haha! You want a Daedric Prince to play fair."
"I want to play fair because if you don't play fair, I won't play at all. Good luck tossing Mortals around on your own. I'll go toss Mortals with my friends someplace else."
"Okay, Okay! How about this one… a music contest with Mortal corpses."
"Says the man who discovered music by using some woman's vocal cords."
"Fighting contest."
"Says the man who won against the fiercest beast Hircine made by a little chick."
"Sparrow! You know him? He became a large Roc later on but that's not in the story. Fine, what about a Nightmare contest?"
"Both you and I know that you wiped the floor with Vaermina last time you two played that."
"Catapult racing?"
"Too high."
"Tunnel spooning."
"Too low."
"Dragon riding."
"Too early."
"Dwemer hide and seek."
"Too late."
"Playing a prank on Molag."
"Already did that."
"Playing a prank on Dagon."
"Did that as well."
"You played a prank on Dagon?"
"I blackmailed him with a scene from your memories when the Avatar of Akatosh whipped his Daedric ass."
"Seriously? How did you get that? Wait! Was it censored?"
"Is there uncensored?"
"A Daedric Prince as tall as a tower walking in the streets of the Imperial City mostly naked? Hah! Of course there is uncensored. His Daedric Dong was all over the place."
"No way!"
"Yes way."
"Daaaaaayum! Must have missed that mod."
"So, what do you want to play?"
"How about my favorite game of all time? It is called [Truth and Dare]."
"Wasn't it 'or' not 'and'?"
"No, that's the sissy version. Jon Dare's version is [Truth and Dare]."
"Fine! I feel like I love it already. How do we play?"
"I ask you a question and I dare you lie to me."
"I feel like I don't love it after all."
"You already agreed."
"Fine, I go first."
"You sure?"
"Humph!"
"You'll ask me a question and you'll Dare me?" Jon asked again to confirm.
Sheogorath had to think twice before that one.
"You've got me, nephew."
"Fair and square."
"Fine, you go first."
Jon sighed after bypassing the mental burden of dodging the troublesome stuff Sheogorath wanted to throw at him.
"What is going on with that Curse around and why are you turning people mad?"
"I always turn people mad. That's what I do. I am the Mad God."
"And the Curse that is killing people? Your madness is making things difficult for me here, Uncle."
"Oh! You got it all wrong, Nephew. I am not harming anyone here."
"You seriously expect me to believe that?" Jon looked doubtful.
"You expect a Daedric Prince to lie?"
"Yes."
"Well, believe it or not, we are concerned about this event." Sheogorath said ignoring Jon's doubts.
"We?"
"Me, Azura, Boethiah… the whole lot."
"Wait wait wait! This 'Whole Lot' is our faction in these Labours, right?"
"Right."
"Why wasn't I invited then?"
"Azura didn't call for you? I thought she did… that's why I didn't want to tell you much."
"No, she didn't. What is going on?"
"Hmmm… You see, nephew, you are basically the Last Labourer on our side with still one more task to perform."
"I know."
"And the other faction still has one Labourer too… other than the ones you have already killed."
"Why is this the first time I hear of that?"
"Because we weren't sure about the identity of the Labourer you are up against and… we still don't know."
"... You're serious now?"
"Dead Serious… or is it Daedra Serious? No, Dead Serious. As serious as a bunch of cheese rolls rolling down on a hill with me tied up on its foot. That's as far as serious goes in my book."
"Great. So, what do you know of that Labourer?"
"Not much. Only that he just received his Labour Artifact and passed through this place. The reason for the Curse you are after is mostly thanks to him and the reason why I am driving people insane, other than me being the Mad God, is to control them. Once these people die, they will turn into Undead and cause damage we don't understand so here I am saving the day and doing what you Heroes should do. Please don't mind the competition, Nephew."
Jon and the rest sighed.
To sum up the rambling of Sheogorath, he is making people insane to halt the Curse. This Curse is caused by a mysterious Labourer on the other Daedric faction.
"Couldn't you just find that out from the start?" Mirren said holding his dizzy head.
"Believe me, when it comes to Uncle Sheo, it is wise to take the extra mile and make him talk his heart out, else you will find yourself going on a literal Fool's Errand to hunt some Butterflies in a Basilisk's nest." Jon replied.
"You know me to a frightening degree, Nephew."
"I am afraid you think highly of me, Uncle. Is there any more information about that Labourer?"
"Sadly, nothing. He was very well done hidden from us by someone but I personally think it won't be long till they reveal that Labourer. You can as well start helping us, can't you? Azura was pleased with you during the last party, she drank a lot to the point where Boethiah had to carry her back to her realm."
"Daedric Princes… drunk?"
"You don't believe me?"
"I don't."
"Fine, I'll invite you to the next party and you will see for yourself."
"I'll hold you to that word."
Jon smiled at sheogorath and the latter returned the same foxy smile.
"But now. It is time I hold you to your word, Nephew. My turn in your 'Truth and Dare'." Sheogorath said.
"Hehe. You are going to Dare me after all, Uncle?" Jon was amused.
"Haha! Come on, I am not going to lose my Nephew for a mere question." Sheogorath said and smiled wider, "One of your friends can take your place in this, right?"
"That was not a rule."
"Neither was not accepting to be Dared. You owe me answers now."
To Jon's trick, Sheogorath forced his own rule into this. Jon wasn't pleased but it seemed that Sheogorath was insisting.
"Jon, it's okay." Isha said as she played defensive.
"..." Jon didn't reply and kept staring at Sheogorath.
"What say you, Nephew?" Sheogorath said with his lunatic smile growing wider.
Jon tilted his head looking at Sheogorath then he smiled calmly.
"You are not interested in any of those friends behind me, don't you? You are after someone else." Jon said.
Sheogorath became more amused.
"As I said, you know me too damn well."
"And you are wondering why." Jon stepped forward not fearing Sheogorath, "You just don't understand how I understand you well so you want to know how I shield my mind from your effect. Am I right?"
It now seemed to the others that Sheogorath and Jon were playing on a whole new Arena.
"You want to know, right?" Jon asked.
"If there is no harm." Sheogorath replied.
"What if there is harm?"
"What if?"
"I see. What do you know?"
"Not much other than what the others know. It hurts to be family and know little about each other"
"Fine, you will meet him." Jon said as he called [Greed] out of the Cube.
Sheogorath narrowed his eyes as he followed Jon's actions carefully.
Jon then called.
"Shadow, someone wants to meet you."
***
*Sometime later*
Jon, Isha, Mirren and Miranda took the road to the south towards the Thalmor camp.
"Let's brief it fast, we are looking for a Labourer who is very dangerous and can be anywhere. We can't trace him by one cursed patient so we need a lot of specimens to try all the methods we know. Our best bet is sadly in a Thalmor camp." Jon said as he grumbled.
The others followed him in silence while looking at each other.
"Jon… do you want to talk about what just happened?" Mirren asked.
"... We better not." Jon replied.
"Are you sure… that thing… it wasn't normal." Even Miranda spoke in a worried tone.
"It is nothing… really! You don't need to worry about Sheogorath going after us." Jon said.
"What about that thing that… appeared?"
A few minutes ago, those three witnessed something mortals can't withstand easily. Shadow spoke to Sheogorath in a language that made them shiver before both Sheogorath and Shadow disappearing somewhere together and Jon recovering [Greed].
Jon saw the worry on his friends' faces and sighed.
"Listen. I truly didn't want you to witness that. What you just heard was from a Higher Tonal Aptitude. Mortals of your level can't possibly comprehend it and as a person who experienced the Tower, I know better." Jon said trying to calm them down.
When higher existences meet, they don't just converse in the level of mortals. That would be like a first grader attending a Quantum Physics class. Even Jon was overwhelmed with the high level of thoughts.
He just couldn't put his hand on how Sheogorath figured out Shadow's existence but Shadow seemed okay with it.
"It is just impossible to unthink of all that." Miranda said.
When someone hears words they know but in a manner they don't get, they are normally confused. Take that to the level of Deities and compare to the level of mere Mortals, it gets really hard to unthink it.
Those who are powerful enough to withstand such an encounter will see through some mysteries of the mysteries of Royalty but those who don't may get traumatized.
"Listen, I'll explain things to you later as your training goes to the level of establishing the foundations of a Peak Physical Body. Once you start forming a Spirit Spark like me, you will be strong enough. Right now you may get traumatized and later would cause your ascendance in the CHIM to be affected negatively." Jon said.
"What on Nirn are you rambling about?" Mirren asked.
"What does the CHIM has to do with this?" Isha asked.
"Ascending the Tower of CHIM is my ultimate goal. Guiding my family through the CHIM with me is also part of that goal. You guys are a family to me and I am not leaving you behind." Jon said.
"But… we never really thought of climbing the Tower of CHIM." Miranda said.
"Sorry to drop the bomb on you but that's something you get as a part of the Dare Package." Jon said as he stopped walking and looked back at his team, "I know it is overwhelming to drag you into this. If you don't want to do something, I am not pushing you to it. I just want you to have my back as long as we are in this. Something is telling me that my 7th Labour is around the corner soon."
"..."
"..."
"... Fuck it. Just tell us what to do?" Mirren sighed and said so.
"Right now, I want you to forget what you just saw. Any further thinking about it will cause you to get more confused. I will explain it all once the time comes." Jon said.
"Fine." Mirren said.
"I'm good." Isha said.
Miranda nodded.
"Fine. Now to the matter at hand. There is a Thalmor Camp we are about to walk in. Any method to walk in there without killing every High Elf we see?" Jon asked.
"Offended but yes." Mirren said, "There is a Moon-Bishop leading the first aid operation from our Star Haven Temple. Her name is Zara and she is an Ohmes-Raht."
"Oh! Never seen one before."
Ohmes-Raht are a Khajiit Furstock that resembles humans and elves the most. They walk on their heels and have tails and light fur, they also paint their faces to appear more Khajiiti.
"So we have a contact in. How do we enter?" Isha asked.
"We can disguise as Adepts." Mirren said.
"Not enough." Miranda refuted.
"Actually it is." Jon said as he took out his stock of Transformation Potions.
"Ladies, time to let your inner Fluff out."
~~~~~~~~~~
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