บท 542: The One I’m Most Thankful to
Jing Yi stared ahead blankly, not understanding what was going on. How was it Qiu Ling's fault if something had happened to his soul? It wasn't like he had caused him to be sucked into the secret realm. Quite the contrary, he had done everything he could to get him out of there, hadn't he?
Jing Yi sighed and gently combed through Qiu Ling's hair. "That's not true. There is nothing you have to feel responsible for. You've always wanted my best and you've done so much for me. Accompanying me out of the Yun Zou Sect to learn how to cultivate, going with me to the Hei Dian Sect to accomplish that mission, finding a way to get senior martial brother Yu and me out of the secret realm … You even followed me this time even though I rejected you so harshly. Considering all the people in my life, you're probably the one who did the most for me. The one I'm most thankful to."
Qiu Ling raised his head and looked at Jing Yi as if he wanted to hear that it indeed wasn't his fault.
Jing Yi's heart throbbed. He couldn't bear to watch this. Qiu Ling wasn't supposed to be like this. He should be happy and a little shameless. Just like he always was. This sadness didn't suit him at all.
He cupped Qiu Ling's cheeks and leaned down, his lips touching Qiu Ling's forehead. "It's not your fault. Even if it was, I still wouldn't blame you. You're … very important to me."
Qiu Ling stared up at him with rapt attention. Was this … his beloved confessing to him? Could it be he had finally understood that there was no Tian? Or could it be … he didn't care? He wanted to ask but just then Jing Yi stroked his cheek, making him shut up and relish in the feeling a little longer. He closed his eyes and burrowed into his arms, listening to his heartbeat that had picked up speed.
Somehow, their roles had reversed in just a few minutes and now it was Jing Yi holding his former lover in his arms. He didn't mind though. Qiu Ling had always liked this kind of thing. Even back when they had been traveling outside in that year they left the Yun Zou Sect, he had used every possibility to recline in his arms or rest his head on his lap.
It had weirded him out a little at first but considering how Qiu Ling had grown up, it wasn't that surprising. Parents that didn't love each other and just played out an act every day of their lives, then losing even them at a young age and remaining all alone with a secret he couldn't tell anyone, not even the people closest to him … The strength that he showed on a normal day, it had come at a high price.
He probably just wanted to make up for all that. It was alright. If it made Qiu Ling happy, he would do it.
Jing Yi patiently combed through Qiu Ling's hair and stroked his back until he was sure that his former lover had calmed down. Only then did he dare to ask the question that had inevitably come up. "So about my soul … How bad is it?"
Qiu Ling blinked. Uh? It seemed … he had completely forgotten about that? He hurriedly closed his eyes and once again took a look. Since he already knew where the engraving was and didn't have to search for it again, he only needed a moment to sense the spot again. Looking at the part of the soul around it … It seemed there wasn't much need to worry.
The soul-engraving dagger was able to cut through a soul easily. The only problem and the reason why it would lead to damage alongside the engraving was that pushing it into one's soul would feel as if the soul was being ripped apart. Few people could take that kind of pain. Even if they were earnest in their attempt to engrave their souls, their hands would involuntarily tremble. Even more so the longer they used it.
But despite that heart-wrenching pain, Jing He had drawn the characters so straightforwardly as if he was merely adding strokes to a scroll of paper with his brush. The probability of this having caused injuries was quite low.
Qiu Ling still took the effort to examine the core around the characters more closely. Especially the part around the end of it. After all, however resolute Jing He had been when he decided to engrave his soul, there was no way he wouldn't feel the pain. Someone like him who had been raised in a golden cage, protected by the Heavenly Emperor and the Heavenly Empress, never to know pain … How was he supposed to bear this kind of self-mutilation? It was a wonder he hadn't collapsed before he finished adding these three lines.
Qiu Ling hoped that Jing He might have been lucky but, naturally, that wasn't possible. One person couldn't have this much luck. There actually was some damage to his soul.
Qiu Ling exhaled and opened his eyes, looking at Jing Yi with a tinge of sadness still in his eyes. He gently cupped his cheek and rubbed his skin with his thumb. "Don't worry about it. I wouldn't let anything happen to you. We'll … look for a way to heal your soul."
"So it is bad?"
Qiu Ling hesitated a bit but finally shook his head. "No. Considering the circumstances …"
Jing Yi tilted his head. "The circumstances?"
Qiu Ling cursed. "Uh, well …" He looked up at the sky and sighed. Ah, screw it. Sooner or later, he'd have to tell Jing Yi the truth anyway. After all, he had remembered part of his life already and he would soon figure out that there was no Tian. So why should he wait until his beloved grew angry for withholding the truth from him? He might as well tell him now.
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