บท 136: Interlude – Uncertain Inebriation Record (1)

Linze half-supported her sister as the girls left the banquet hall. Elze was a floppy drunk, ahahaha. It was such a pity Mister Zah wasn't around to see this.

"Mister Zah and Miss Monika are taking a very long time. Should we go and look for them?" Linze asked Yumina. No one resented how Yumina very quickly became second in command in their group, not even Elze. Everyone counted on Elze to have the common sense to curb their enthusiasm. Yumina was actually trained for this sort of thing.

Sir Zah was a diplomatic disaster always primed and ready to blow.

"Mmm. I don't know. If we were to, say, 'split the party', we would only have ourselves to extricate Sir Zah from whatever mess he's gotten into now." The life of an adjutant was one of endless optimism. Because if you expect things to get worse, you will always be pleasantly surprised.

"I am combat ready," said Yae.

Yumina stared at her. Yae was a fighty drunk, this was not a good thing.

Thunder rolled in the distance. Everyone looked towards the sky through the tall windows on the far end of the corridor. Then there was a shrieking electric noise.

"Uggh, that idiot," Elze moaned as she clung to her sister's shoulder. "I know that sound."

Contrary to what people might expect, the beastkin race of 'fairy' were not actually all that smaller than regular folk. The winged tribe did not have hollow bones or large enough wings to actually support their weight, they flew with the aid of magic.

The fairies were known for two things – first, their deep well of magic power. The fairy tribe flew on glittering wings that were half-magic, half-real. Second, their extreme longlevity. At some point, a fairy just stops aging entirely and lives in a state of unchanging immortality through centuries.

They were known as the beings closest to spirits.

Leene was among the oldest of the fairies, and the most powerful, but her immortality started at just before blossoming into full womanhood and that had its own share of problems. Apart from the obvious one, it also meant that she would forever be somewhat of a lightweight with alcohol.

She smiled faintly as she watched Playa shoot up to the sky on gray smoke plumes bursting out of the soles of his boots. How novel! Then Playa had to point his palms down and let loose another pair of burning jet plumes to allow for level flight.

She had never seen this sort of magic before. Leene had to fight to prevent anything than elegant appreciation from showing on her face; six hundred years she had spent trying to cultivate a mysterious aloof appearance, she couldn't afford to display any sort of girlish enthusiasm.

They faced each other squarely in the air. Leene could stay in the air effortlessly, while Playa had to continually consume magic power just to stay up. Was this not an immense disadvantage?

"As a show of my respect, I will allow you to strike the first blow," Leene said, making a small bow.

Playa pulled one arm back, he began to drop, and pointed at her with two fingers. He roared "Come, [Lightning!]"

PHWOOOT.

Rather than the deadly narrow lightning bolt, what came out was a crackling web going slightly off to her right side. It was close enough to be dangerous, and she felt some heat from its passing.

"Wait, no, that's not right…" Playa mumbled, boosting back up to the previous height.

He tried again. "Come, [Lightning!]" PHWOOOT.

It should go an intimidating THOOOOM. Why isn't it a THOOOM?

/"You're not Azula, Player. Lightningbending requires a little bit more focus than that."/

Leene put her hand to her hips and smirked. "I'm not drunk, you're drunk," she said dryly.

"S-SHUT UP!" He vaulted to high overhead. "T-try this, then!" He put a finger to each cheek and Shouted "[YOL TOOR SHUUL!]"

From his mouth came out wide, hot, billowing flames like a dragon. The flame torrent covered over completely Leene. And also blocked his entire forward vision.

Klonk!

Playa's head snapped back from a rock that punched through the fire curtain. That was the difference between men and dragons. Dragons had their eyes further apart, and so could roughly watch over the target they were roasting with the fire spewing from their mouth whichever way out of the cone of fire they tried to dodge.

His [Air Shield] was active, so it didn't do any damage, but it was still enough to send him pinwheeling around in the air. As always, and like Elze had figured out, the [Air Shield] was excellent against magic and high-velocity impacts, but slower hits that would only be an annoyance could get through more easily.

A pugilist was an Air Mage's worst enemy! If they could, you know, fly.

Winged folk of beastkin could do that, so they were specially dangerous with their spears and javelins. Leene was six hundred years old, and as Matriarch of the Fairy Tribe had repeatedly stomped them down and all other possible contenders to air supremacy.

She was mainly the reason the Fairy clans were so feared.

"If you can dodge a rock, you can dodge an arrow," said Leene as the view cleared. She remained hanging in the sky, not having moved one bit from her position. But now a ring of rocks circled around her, impossibly orbiting her frame like an asteroid field.

/"Earthbending?"/ Monika gasped.

Playa nodded. "Interesting. Well, we did consider using rocks also as mobile shield interceptor layer, like Albus Dumbledore blocking the normally unblockable Avada Kedavra, but while levitation of small objects is basic magic, it's processing cycles wasted when we could just act as the interceptor. Kind of like being the multirole fighter throwing ship-killer cruise missiles ahead of the carrier instead of relying on a destroyer anti-air screen for the battlegroup."

Leene raised her right. "[Program: Homing Missile. Object: Rock flung out by magic. Order: Curve to follow target. Trigger: Raised hand with index and pinky finger outstretched. Termination: Target hit.]" She smiled softly. "Come, dodge this."

/"There it is again!"/ Monika pointed angrily with her tiny arm.

"We are going full Itano Circus (1) over here!" Playa yelled. "Evasive maneuvers. Wind! [Lightning!] [Air Artillery Bolt-Web], engage!"

Fwoosh! Player surged up and swooped around in a spiraling pattern. Rocks followed in his wake, only visible from the faint purple tinge of pre-applied levitation magic.

Pew pew pew pew! A previously stored spell in Monika's [Application Stack] opened six Boom Tube apertures around Player's shoulders and hips, and began throwing out small lightning balls in rapid fire.

Linze and Yumina stared out at the night sky, now lighting up with flashes of combat magic.

"Mister Zah is doing something again. Should we help?"

"How?" Yumina asked. "It's not like any of us can also fly."

Meanwhile, Elze groaned as she was supported by Yae. "I don't caaaare," she hissed. "Dammit Playa… this is all your fault."

Then she paused rigidly and said very seriously "I need to puke."

Very quickly Yae spun her around like so much boardwood.

Blooorgh.

And then Leene added "If you can dodge exploding rock, you can dodge explosion magic."

Poom. Poom. Poom.

/"How are you doing that?!"/ Monika shouted back.

"How are *you* doing that?" Leene asked in return. "Are you doing that, or is it your man? Such a unique use of portal magic, it is quite curious."

"Shite, she's not doing the shounen thing and explaining her attack after she does them so that the other side can figure out a loophole," Playa moaned even as he flipped around and began throwing off lightning trails that one by one lanced out to strike incoming rocks, that were now glowing red. On a hit, they exploded.

/"One does not reach six hundred years by revealing their vulnerabilities, I suppose."/

But removing his arms from flight duty to combat duty meant that his flight vector was locked into a straight line. He could only make small spiraling adjusments by moving one foot out of alignment. His altitude began to drop.

Other people were being roused by the commotion. Yumina and Linze put away thoughts of helping, as they watched guards and other folk come out to the courtyard.

Playa dropped down and buzzed them, air blasting awake in the wake of his passing. Glowing rocks followed behind him, and soon the bright contrails went out of the city limits.

"That's Zah!" King Jamukha shouted excitedly. "He's fighting! Noooooo!" He roared and threw up his arms in dismay. "My remaaaaaatch!"

"Let's just go to our rooms and pretend this whole thing isn't happening," Yumina wisely decided. "Sir Zah can inform us about the results in the morning."

"Frghhhggrh wnts tuh show off…" Elze spoke mainly through her nostrils.

"That just adds even more reason not to entertain him like this. If he doesn't want to sleep, then does that mean we should wait up worrying?"

"T-that's a wife's job," Linze squaked.

"Exactly. And since *none of us* here are his wife, we should not stress ourselves needlessly. He will be fine. I'm sure of it."

Linze looked doubtful. "You're going to stay up anyway worrying, aren't you?"

The little princess grit her teeth and slapped her palms flat at the glass. "Of course I am! Someone has to worry about the diplomatic fallout from this! We aren't just a bunch of adventurers anymore, what we do matters to two whole kingdoms!" she whimpered despondently.

"Ish because w'erre mighty that can dishdain consequenshes," Elze murmured. "Frakk em."

"H-how irresponsible!"

"Gonna punssh Playa in the fessh next time ah see him."

"How responsible!"

/"Program… program…"/ Monika was muttering. /"Could it be…?"/

"That's silly though. How would any programming language magic appear in this crazy magic world?"

/"… Remember how Charlotte told us that the Ancients had Formalized magic from all those disparate disciplines and natural powers?"/

"Right, Charlotte is obsessed about the lost civilization for good reason. But then how would Leene know of it?"

The actual ancient spell, not the obsession with the ancient lost civilization. That's probably where Charlotte got that habit in the first place.

Playa flipped around and slammed down to the ground, feet first. Then an [Earth Wall] rose high in front of him. The homing rocks slammed upon the rocks and exploded.

Boom.

Playa appeared from behind Leene. She turned back around just in time to see Playa open his palms out and a rapid stream of lightning balls burst out. Pew pew pew pew pew!

Leene quickly strafed left, but not before a lightning ball managed to clip her in the side.

After some distance away, and Playa had stopped attacking, she looked down at the ragged hole burned into her waist, exposing pale skin. She touched the strike zone, it felt numb but also sensitive at the same time – prodding it with her finger left a stinging sensation. She began to chuckle softly.

"I was right. You do belong in the skies. Such a free spirit must always yearn for greater heights."

"Our souls cannot be held down by gravity," Playa said pompously.

There was the sound of breaking glass, and Monika appeared floating beside him.

/"That [Program]…."/ Monika asked with a heavily lidded stare, /"Is it elemental spell magic or a null-elemental personal magic?"/

Leene openly grinned. She had them! First, interest. Then negotiation. Then, an exchange of favors. And then... something more. "First, tell me, what do you mean by being able to use ALL Null magic?"

Monika pursed her lips sourly. One could be generous to an ignoramus, but an expert must demand compensation for their valuable knowledge.

(1) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzXfVgYCxWI