บท 2: Chapter 2 - I fucking love ninjas!
I love eyes… Eyes are an important part of the human body! I think I love eyes as much as character creation menus… you have freedom and choice on what to make it look like. Super handsome or super ugly. The only thing that limits it is the 1 million sliders for each goddamn feature… WHY THE FUCK DO YOU NEED THAT MUCH BLOODY SLIDERS, DO YOU WANT ME TO LOSE MY MIND!?!?! Despite there being way too many sliders, I was able to create my desired body.
Crimson-red eyes that could penetrate any person's soul, glossy brown skin enough to captivate passersby. Hair as white as snow covered one of the eyes on his perfectly chiseled face. Two pointy ears stood out and blended in with the body. Immaculate. I nearly fangirled over it... What the fuck was wrong with me? Was I actually a creepy fujoshi?
Getting back to the matter at hand, I wanted to click on the save button and...
-Noooooo!!!!!
It didn't tell me it was my father, but that 'Random' button just aside the 'Save' one just killed all my dreams. And in panic, I couldn't stop myself from unconsciously trying to reach the save button, as if it would solve have saved anything about the current problem. And… Loading screen! No??? I only bought a license for one character! Did I just fuck up my life??? It shouldn't be too ugly no? At that thought, my burning dreams started to light up again.
But the mirror in the loading screen finished to achieve my just-revived dreams, I looked like an old guy in his forties… A shameless old guy… Was I shameless? No! So why? Why heavens?
Why that random button???
Reluctantly sighing, I pressed okay as now all the other buttons were grayed out. It turned pitch black again until, I suddenly heard a string of dings from above me… While a stream of notifications appeared before me.
<Player has unlocked a DNA talent! <Sheep Transformation>>
<Player surprised the system with a particularly bad DNA talent, Player obtains 15 points>
<Player has unlocked a new skill tree! <Ninja>>
<Player is now level 1>
<Player just triggered a random event, obtained <Random gift Pack>>
<Player unlocked a new stat by special action <Luck>>
<Player is prepared for the tutorial even before its start>
<Player unlocked a new stat by special action <Wisdom>>
<Player already knows the game before starting?>
<Player unlocked a new stat by special action <Comprehension>>
<Evaluation of player mentality…>
<Player has received achievement! <Poor Bastard>>
<Poor Bastard>
A status window popped up before me
╔════════════════════╗
║ Name: ImperialShadow
║ Level: 1
║ HP: 0.1/0.1
║ MP: 0.02/0.02
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ Stats
║ Wisdom: 0.0001
║ Comprehension: 10
║ Luck: 9
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ Inventory
║ Starter Gift Pack x1
║ Random Gift Pack x1
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ Genome (15 points)
║ Sheep Transformation
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ Skills (0 points)
╚════════════════════╝
I was dumbstruck by the insane numbers of notifications as well as the greatness of my genome… I was even able to obtain points with it! Or so I lied to myself.
But why 0.1 hp? Tell me?
I'm a sensible being, you know?
I'm going to cry you know?
I took a deep breath.
It was fairly logical for a normal rpg game to have the player start off with at least 1 hp! As even the most hardcore game would let the player withstand even just a single blow without dying at some point into progress! But look at me… I would be dead just by a single snort from another player.
Their logic of using DNA for most things is really unlikable. It almost makes me wish I never knew my potential. Of course, if you gave people the characteristics matching their DNA, there would be great differences in strength, between two people of the same level, which forces you to increase the gap between levels so a level 1 can't be stronger than a level 2. But then just take the abilities and BALANCE them! You know, that thing you do in games to make sure something isn't broken?
It was quite a good thing that full-on world pvp was not enabled so far. In their wish to make every element linked to combat as realist as possible, they did not introduce guards NPCs yet, so most of the map is a safezone.
I moved my finger to tap on the Sheep Transformation skill.
A new popup appeared in front of my eyes.
╔══════════════════════════════════╗
║Sheep Transformation
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ In ancient times there existed a clan with
║ with abilities known as Transformers. They died
║ quickly and disappeared of the evolution chain
║ because the two last representent died quickly,
║ one was able to transform into corpse, so died
║ while Transforming for the first time, the other
║ was able to transform into an apple and was
║ eaten by Adam, becoming the first case of
║ cannibalism known to man.
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ Cost: 5 points per change of form
╚══════════════════════════════════╝
The first reaction I had was:
-Dad! Our ancestor is famous!!!!!
The second was:
-Dad! Our ancestor was eaten!!!!!
The third was:
-It costs so fucking many points!!!!!
This was basically daylight robbery! Great! Not only was I poor in real life but now I was going to be poor in game.... That was a relief…
Just as I was thinking so, I felt something tapping on my shoulder just as I saw a blinding light.
-Ahhhhh!
I screamed and turned around accidentally swinging my fist at an old woman who then got slammed onto the ground.
o_O
Wasn't me.
I'm telling you that old lady who fell onto the ground wasn't my doing.
I slowly side-stepped away before she started tugging on my leg, just in case. The old lady stood up, still trembling from the accident where my knuckles met her face, and said:
-Welcome, I'll be the one guiding you through this tutorial!
A strangely young voice came out from her mouth as she moved like a perfectly fine 20 years woman.
Then the surroundings become darker… The sky too. The moon was blood red while screams and noises of fighting were heard throughout the night.
In front of me was a village, with the old lady before me.
-Hey, what's happe…
-Quick! Help me! I need help! My village is under attack, please help me!
-Wha…
My immersion was once again broken when the old lady stood up just fine, and a pop up… well… popped up...
-Click on the 'Yes' button to start the tutorial.
-I WANT, here and NOW, explications!
-Click on the 'Yes' button to start the tutorial.
-Fuck!
With the budget they put in it, couldn't they have put more budget into the tutorial? It's was the players' first impression, you know?
No!
I definitely pressed the 'No' button, and watched the following cinematic.
It was probably intended to make me feel bad, and was filmed in a bird eye's view. I saw my character fleeing as all the villagers, including the old grandma, were killed.
At least the fights looked nice. I guess that was where all the millions went.
Seeing soldiers wiping the floor with the villagers' blood and intestines was quite the sight. At least I was still alive? Yeah it was alright so long as I didn't die…
Ding!
<The player skipped the tutorial, the tutorial rewards will not be distributed>
<The player unlocked a new skill by a special action <Thick Skin>>
<The player unlocked a new stat by a special action <Will>>
<The companion system version was changed by a special action>
Ok, kill me.
I tried to open the status window:
-Open the status!
-Status!
-Please open the status!
-That's better!
A mechanical voice sounded as the status window opened.
Did they really use complex AIs for systems, but didn't polish their tutorial? Get your priorities straight!
╔════════════════════╗
║ Name: ImperialShadow
║ Level: 1
║ HP: 0.1/0.1
║ MP: 0.02/0.02
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ Stats
║ Wisdom: 0.0001
║ Comprehension: 10
║ Luck: 9
║ Will: 10
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ Inventory
║ Starter Gift Pack x1
║ Random Gift Pack x1
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ Genome (15 points)
║ Sheep Transformation
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ Skills (0 points)
║ Thick Skin (1)
╚════════════════════╝
Thick Skin? Sounds suitable for a guy like me! That's what I call a pro player! I then called out the system.
-Yo System! What does Thick Skin do?
The system then snorted and coldly replied.
-If you address me as uncle then I'll say it.
The one who made this version of the system, come, I promise I won't kill you.
-You ain't related to me at all! Fuck off!
-Then tough luck you ain't going to know what it does.
I had the urge to punch the system in the face but then had the excellent idea to tap on the words 'Thick Skin' in my status.
A pop up effectively appeared.
Ding!
<The player unlocked a stat by a special action <Intelligence>>
-You mean what, that I wasn't intelligent before??? Woah, my. I'm pretty goddamn sure that I'm smarter than you….
<Congratulations! Thick Skin leveled up!>
╔═════════════════════════════════╗
║ Thick Skin (0/1000)
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ With great powers comes great responsibilities
║ Reduces all CC effects by 2%
║ Reduces your blush coefficient by 2%
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ Evolutions
║ Slackface
║ Worst bastard in the world
║ Emotionless Machine
║ ???
╟━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╢
║ Costs 1 point per activation
║ Duration: 4 Seconds
╚═════════════════════════════════╝
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