Overall Rating: 5/5 This work is excellent, but there are a few areas where it could still improve. Writing Quality: 5/5 The writing is strong, though at times it leans into being a bit too descriptive. The author seems aware of this and is trying to balance the level of detail. The writing matches well with the comprehension level of most readers on this platform, who generally have a high school level of English, with some even lower. Stability of Updates: 5/5 The author updates daily, which is great. However, the most important thing is that updates are consistent and that the author communicates any changes in schedule. Whether updates come daily, weekly, or monthly, it’s acceptable as long as the author keeps the readers informed. Since fanfiction authors are unpaid, expecting daily updates is both unrealistic and unfair. Story Development: 5/5 This story is a Slice of Life fanfiction. The early parts of the story are action-packed, which makes sense when you consider the main character, Yasushi, and his background. The story slowly reveals that he had a difficult and violent past life. In this new life, Yasushi wants to change. The progress is slow but steady. For example, he starts opening up to his best friend, Furuya, and tries to handle problems in a more thoughtful way. Yasushi’s growth is gradual but noticeable. At first, he often solves problems with his fists, but as the story progresses, he begins to think things through and uses the help of Jingliu, who has the resources to support him. By the middle of Volume 1 and throughout Volume 2, he has significantly reduced his reliance on physical force. I’m satisfied with where the story is headed. It starts during Yasushi’s second year of high school, moves through the Summer Arc, and continues into his third year, then college, and beyond. With so many fanfictions out there, this one stands out as a refreshing and calming read. Character Design: 5/5 The characters are well-developed and serve clear purposes. The main characters, Yasushi Futakao and Jingliu Yang, have shown good growth and continue to develop. I find their development very satisfying. The supporting characters, such as Furuya (Yasushi’s best friend), Xinyi (Jingliu’s friend and rival), and others, are also well-written. They are not one-dimensional and add depth to the story. Even the parents, who are not often in the spotlight, have important roles behind the scenes. World Background: 5/5 The world-building starts off somewhat limited, focused on a fictional city in Japan with a decent level of detail. However, Volume 2 expands the world significantly, introducing two Chinese towns that Yasushi visits with Jingliu. The author does a great job of fleshing out these new locations. There are also hints that the elements introduced in these towns will play a role in Volume 3. Overall, I am satisfied with it.
This requires a broad, high-level review without zeroing in too closely on individual details, as this is only a preliminary evaluation. Set aside feedback that lacks a clear objective or critical insight, since many comments will address minor points that aren't currently relevant. A general suggestion: try using AI-supported grammar tools like Grammarly to enhance clarity and cohesion in your writing. Such tools are widely accepted for improving grammar, style, and flow, and they’re valuable for refining your text. In English classes, you may have been taught the importance of planning for creative writing assignments. Outlining a clear Beginning, Middle, and End can significantly streamline the writing process. By defining these main sections, the story’s development often unfolds more smoothly, with other elements fitting together naturally. Writers generally fall into three categories: those who plan extensively, those who write spontaneously, and those who use a mix of both. Planners organize every detail in advance, setting up a structured outline that makes the actual writing more straightforward. Spontaneous writers, or “pantsers,” follow their instincts, shaping the narrative as ideas come to them. My approach combines planning with spontaneity. Some well-known writers who favor a spontaneous style are Stephen King and George R.R. Martin, who need little introduction. My method involves setting up a Beginning, Middle, and End but improvising many parts of the story along the way. Writing Quality: There’s room for growth. Writing styles vary; some are complex and detailed, while others are more straightforward. Don’t let this discourage you. Keep writing and focus on honing your craft. Update Frequency: Not particularly relevant here. This is fanfiction—there’s no payment or strict requirement to follow a rigid update schedule. Readers who follow your work do so because they enjoy it, so you should feel free to update at a pace that suits you. Story Development: At this point, a comprehensive assessment may be premature, though the story is engaging so far. I’m interested to see how it progresses. Character Design: Based on the protagonist’s current presentation, I expect their character to develop as the story goes on. Many readers on this platform come with specific expectations for protagonists, but they also appreciate variety. Still, they often react negatively if a character changes too much, so consider ignoring feedback that pressures you into forced consistency. For example, some readers expect a character to be clever or stand out from the beginning, and if these traits aren’t immediately obvious, they may give the story a low rating. This can sometimes make these readers come across as picky or demanding. Crafting a unique character with quirks, however unusual or surprising, is a strength. Whether the character is overly fixated on something, behaves unpredictably, or reacts in a quirky way, I see these as positive traits that add originality. In short, character development matters, but with refined writing, you can sometimes make a character engaging even without extensive development, though this takes skill. World Background: This story is set in the Danmachi universe, so much of the world-building is already in place. However, adding your own lore or expanding the setting would be a great touch. Many writers, particularly beginners, find world-building challenging, so don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t turn out perfect. Experimentation is part of the learning process, so feel free to explore new ideas. Good luck, and for uploading your work, you get an automatic 3/5 stars for putting yourself out there.
Creating The Strongest Familia In Danmachi
Anime & Comics · Najicablitz626