that's right
[Ball Handle: 80]
Sports · Bimbroz
I really don't know if I should laugh or cry. You communicate with a unique method, hahaha. But back to your review. It really hit and I had a lot to fix. The first, MC is a teenager. His mind is not yet too stable for a wise human figure. In the real world, sometimes someone has to be slapped with a reality that must be considered to rise from adversity. It's still early stages. There will come a time when Kein will become a strong man and take criticism as proof that he is really stupid and must be corrected immediately. It is for this that the system comes and helps to cope with the problem endlessly. Teachers and friends play an important role, but they can't be relied upon all the time. Damian as his roommate? Yes, they become like one and help each other. But the system exists to improve his attributes specifically even though he remains in contact with colleagues or teachers. That's my answer. Express all your complaints one by one if your goal is to improve the quality of this novel. Thanks so much, mate!
Thanks for the gift. I really appreciate it!
This novel encouraged me to write a novel in the same genre. best of luck!
Thanks. Your opinion is so encouraging
Thanks for the advice. I'll replace it
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Sports · Bimbroz
Kein did not understand the definition of "death" in this sentence. The system offers a fairly instant way to become an above-average professional athlete. If he refuses, then he is "death". That is, he will get nothing even if he struggles. Kein has the skills but it's not enough to be the best. So the system says Kein will 'die' because the system knows what is best for him. And rejection in any form will derail his career as a professional athlete. Maybe you forgot that the main theme of this novel is slice of life. Then, real death might not exist. I hope this answers your disappointment. I'm very grateful for your criticism.[img=recommend]
[If you choose 'No', then the only way is for you to fight hard to eliminate this 'system' from your body. Basically, this 'system' was born because of your need and determination to become a professional athlete. If the first option is not possible, there is still another option. The other option is for you to die and the system will stop working on your body].
Sports · Bimbroz
Author here![img=proud][img=proud] I really can't believe the time has come to write a novel, with a 'system' and 'slice of life' theme. This is the first time I've ventured into a system novel, as I had no confidence in my abilities before. I hope you will enjoy this novel and don't hesitate to give me any suggestions or criticism if necessary. I would really appreciate your judgement. Thanks and Enjoy it! [img=recommend][img=recommend]
Author Review Here! Decided to write a fantasy novel about Gods and Demons. It tells the story of a Goddess who gets lost in a forest to seek help in seizing the throne of the Gods from the Demon King. There she meets a former soldier, Xavier, forcing him to become her aide and bring down the Demon King's dynasty in Heaven. I believe it will be very complicated but fun for me. 😀
Thank you for your advice. To be honest, when I started writing this novel, I also learned this language consistently. I realized how bad my experience in the world of novel. But until now, I still learn and read novels by other authors to improve my ability to understand this language. I really appreciate any positive feedback from anyone.
Hall Of Fame System
Sports · Bimbroz