p0tat0t0mat0

male LV 4

Potato eater

2019-05-24 Unido Global
Emblemas 8

Moments 17
p0tat0t0mat0
p0tat0t0mat0
1 years ago
Commented

Man, deicde on what you want to write and stick to it - you first mention that the room is modest in size and few paragraphs later it suddently becomes "extremely huge" - which one is is? It may be small detail but if in the first two chapters you have such inconsistent descirptions it does not bode well for the rest of the story, at least that's my opinion.

p0tat0t0mat0
p0tat0t0mat0
2 years ago
Commented

I quite like the story so far but what I find bizzare is that so far the only character that was "properly" desbribed was Manfred. We have no idea how other characters look like, the only thing we know is that Vaan is skinny and handsome, nothing else.

p0tat0t0mat0
p0tat0t0mat0
3 years ago
Commented

I hope that you will not use any chess allegories in the future. The part when MC was pretending to be a great mastermind was one of the most irritating and cringe worthy part of the novel so far.

p0tat0t0mat0
p0tat0t0mat0
3 years ago
Commented

I find the resolution of this whole parents situation extremely anticlimactic. There was this whole build up basically since the beginning of the story but in the end it fell flat. I’m also a little bit baffled by the reaction of girls or rather the lack of thereof after the mother left.

p0tat0t0mat0
p0tat0t0mat0
3 years ago
Commented

“Without further adieu(...)” - Bro really? :D You sometimes do really silly but annoying mistakes - using adjective instead of a noun or using the wrong form of a verb.

p0tat0t0mat0
p0tat0t0mat0
3 years ago
Commented

Man this chapter was weird. MC saw gruesome deaths of other F-ranks (I suppose that it was also his first contact with such brutality), he himself got basically dismembered and almost died but yet he was relatively calm and even had time to contemplate about morality. WTF

p0tat0t0mat0
p0tat0t0mat0
3 years ago
Commented

49 sqm apartment is by no means small. The price for a place of this size would be pretty insane in most big cities in modern world.

p0tat0t0mat0
p0tat0t0mat0
3 years ago
Replied to Resurgent

But the MC doesn’t now about anything so him behaving like a “hot shit” while most people can easily kill him is pretty stupid. Especially since he doesn’t really understand the current situation of the princess/empire.

p0tat0t0mat0
p0tat0t0mat0
3 years ago
Commented

So he looks like every other MC in chinese cultivation novels? :D

p0tat0t0mat0
p0tat0t0mat0
3 years ago
Commented

“the etheral core points absorb the energy from the air and feed it to their ethereal core” - Damn, that was confusing, should’ve made this terms more distinctive IMO

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