i really hope you continue this , honestly its the only one from the ''originals/tvd'' fanfics that is enjoyable for me so far because most of them are either dropped or just trash
honestly you just screwed it up , its like you are closing your eyes and imagining scenarios in your head then writing them , none linear , really out of place , no plot , like a kids fantasy cuz there is no way in hell that Elena would wake up then go '' you are single ? you are mine'' that just doesn't happen , if you really want to write an actual story at least think logically and build up the plot u cant jump from day 1 at school into killing originals and being op because that not what a story is man that's just you throwing scenes and ideas of a childish fantasy that the reader cant really enjoy or even appreciate and I'm not trying to be an ass about it but if you want to '' write a story'' u need a lot of work and a lot of planning and time u cant just throw things together and say this is a story , any case good luck in life and stay safe
im lost .... so u jumped from his first day at school t having scott and malia in his pack?... the guy didnt even meet them for gods sake smh , also why the hell would stefan call him then want to kill him? wth is going on with your story man
nice story altho a bit too fast paced , would be better if you slow it dwn a bit for example he should have checked the house first and the cars not just straight out go to school , also he just took out the gun in public? i mean its not something someone who just reincarnated will do or any one sane for that matter , also stefan didnt even know who klaus is at that point . anyway not really nagging just giving an opinion great story tho so keep it up and maybe make the chapters longer and steady after all haste makes waste
it gets too messed up and too much gags and the character's personality is just all over the place he would start crying for no reason , get emotional also for stupid things , and tbh mc just sucks with all that cuck bs and kind of ntr scenes and him being ok with them is just eww , also what the hell is with that noble crap like just get it together! and being noble doesn't mean being stupidly good/merciful/kind but what annoys me the most is the personality and mood swings like for god's sake decide on one either make him an ***** with ***** reactions or just make him a kid with no memories of his past life don't make it both cuz other than being confusing af its also god damn annoying !!
Mushoku Tensei Arthur
Anime & Comics · Roxy_Greyrat21