Capítulo 165: 5. Ain't That Just The Way?
My plan to get Damien would take a lot out of me, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I wasn't sure what would be left of me once this was all done. The weight of it all pressed on my chest, making it hard to breathe. I knew Damien had spies, lurking in the shadows, keeping a close eye on us.
To make him more careless, I would need to create public scenes, like in a crowded shop, where he would witness the supposed crumbling of my relationship with Damon. It would fuel his arrogance, causing him to taunt me, call me, and come after me even more, intensifying my hatred and anger towards him. I had to be prepared for the worst, even if it meant enduring torture at his hands.
I would have to publicly declare that Damon and I were no more, and it had to be convincing. There was no other way. So, I had to be as cruel as possible, hitting him where it hurt the most, and driving him into the arms of Mariella. All of them.
Eventually, I would seize Damien, one version of him, and interrogate him about the book. I needed those crucial details, and I was confident that his arrogance would blind him to the threat I posed. He just might tell me what I wanted to know. Of course, I would have Sarks or a few versions of Krycheck by my side, to show him just how ruthless I had become.
This was another part of my plan, to make him see what I had transformed into, fueling his eagerness to possess me. Taunting me would only amplify my hatred. However, this would all take time. I had to keep my plan a secret, not reveal anything to the pack leader, and remain patient, hiding my ever-growing darkness.
The time would come when I would have to reveal my true self to them, extracting the information from Damien. That would be the moment to let them witness me torturing Sarks, Krycheck, and Damien. It would further drive Damon away from me. I would no longer be the same Mimi.
I would have to utter a few impactful sentences to Charles, ensuring that Damon and Mariella secretly overheard us during our intimate moments in bed. I would be merciless in my words, pushing them away. The same would go for every Salvatore.
Constantine promised me a crystal, its sparkling facets catching the sunlight as he handed it to me. He assured me he would keep his mouth shut about our plan. The crystal, he said, would show me when my hate was strong enough. But first, Constantine would have to perform a spell. I needed to gather information about the book that Damien held in his hands. Constantine's spell would connect to that book, allowing him to gauge the level of hatred required to destroy it.
It was just a matter of hate, of doing everything in my power to fuel that hatred and make it grow. As someone special, Constantine and I had discussed that the most secure way for me to become a vessel for the potion was to transform into a potion bottle myself. The potion, filled with my hatred, would be inside my body. Destroying the book would be a challenging task, one that would require me to find it, touch it, or be near it before blowing up myself, bathing the book in my body, in the potion fueled by my hatred.
Once the book was destroyed, there would be only one Damien left. The last one, he would suffer for a long time. I needed to keep my plan completely secret, not letting anyone, not even Charles, know about it. I wasn't sure how much of myself I would lose in the process. By the time I accomplished my goal, my darkness would consume me, turning me into a monster. But I had to take it one step at a time. There was no use pondering or worrying about the future. Only time would reveal what would happen.
The first step was to start tearing us apart, to dismantle the love that I had once sworn to protect and cherish. In reality, there wasn't much to destroy. He belonged to Mariella. They all did, and I was merely living in a hopeful world, hoping that one day, one of them might be mine. Damon and I were not meant to be endgame, or perhaps we would have been if it weren't for my choices, my burden that would ultimately tear us apart. I knew how to do it, how to make it stick. I knew Damon much better than he knew me. It was partly because of my pretender nature and my other abilities.
I walked outside, seeking solace in nature. The weather was beautiful, the sun casting a warm glow, and the birds serenaded me with their melodic songs. The scent of flowers permeated the air, a sweet reminder of life's fragility. Yet, I felt empty inside. I was preparing myself for what lay ahead. It was better to face it head-on, to get it done. The first blow would be the hardest, but it would make the rest easier.
I had Charles and Adam by my side, even if I had to share them. They were more than enough support for me. I held onto the hope that one day they would be able to pull me back from the depths of darkness.
Mariella was on the brink of exhaustion, her body weary from her encounters with the Salvatore brothers. Now, in the midst of a passionate shower with both number one and two, they planned to venture into the kitchen for a much-needed meal. Oblivious to Mimi's whereabouts, none of them spared a thought for her. As they strolled down the corridor after the shower, Mariella noticed a door slightly ajar. The sound of Mimi's voice drifted out as she engaged in a phone conversation with Jarod. Both Damon's halted upon hearing her.
Sensing the movement of the Salvatore trio, I readied myself in a strategic position. It had been a few days since I awoke, or maybe even a week. I called Jarod, who was aware of my plan and ready to assist.
Equipped with my laptop, I initiated a video call.
"Do you understand how difficult it is for me to play the role of a good girl and allow the Salvatore to impregnate me? It feels so mechanical, devoid of any genuine connection," I confessed to Jarod.
In response, he said, "You must acknowledge the truth. Lying to yourself won't do any good. I mean, if a fucking machine, the best seducer in the world can make you feel that way..."
I interjected, "He views me as a monster. I admit, I have my dark side and my rage, but I feel like we're hopeless. What is there to hold on to? He has never truly understood me, not like you."
Jarod grunted, his voice filled with understanding. "You are not a monster, but you need to let go. Emotions are a source of strength, but it seems you're searching for something that no longer exists," he advised.
I fell silent before confessing, "I had hoped, truly believed, that I could feel something for him. But for number two, it's merely physical. He knows how to seduce me, but there's no emotional connection. I've witnessed him with Mariella and smelled their bond. I know. I just don't love him anymore. I'm fooling myself, trying to be a dutiful wife. Love cannot be forced. It simply isn't there. I know what love feels like; I love Charles and Adam, but I don't have even a hint of that feeling for Damon."
Jarod responded gently, "It may not be pleasant, but you must be honest with yourself. It's a good thing that you admit there's no love between you."
We were talking for quite a while until the trio of Salvatore vanished. Jarod truly knew me, and I had spoken the truth. But not the whole truth. I was good at twisting the truth, but it did what it meant to be. Broke Damon's heart fully.
Damon sat in silence, his face tense with pain. Number two mirrored his silence, their anguish palpable. Mariella could feel their suffering, a heavy weight on her heart. Mimi's revelation had hit them hard, shattering something deep within. Determined to ease their torment, Mariella embraced number one, planting a tender kiss on his lips before doing the same to number two. In an instant, she teleported them all into a dimly lit room.
Time seemed to stand still as Mariella worked to coax a reaction from both men, their emotions raw and tangled. She focused solely on their needs, seeking to ease even a fraction of their anguish. The air was heavy with the scent of desperation and longing as Mariella urged them to release their pain, to find solace in her touch. She understood the agony of hearing things not meant for her ears, and a nagging thought lingered. Has her jealousy and manipulation caused this rift between Mimi and Damon? But at this moment, her pregnancy hormones ruled her mind, and she gladly took on the burden of their pain.
Unbeknownst to her, Mariella had also confided in the wolves about the conversation, uncertain if Damon had shared it with the other Salvatores. There, too, lay another layer of unburdening that needed to take place. So, she kept them all confined within the intimate space of the bedroom, allowing them to vent their emotions, offering her love as a balm, and promising unwavering support.
I sat outside, feeling the cool breeze against my skin, fully aware of the enormity of my actions. It was merely the tip of the iceberg. In my mind, I had a specific location where I planned to take Damien once I successfully trapped him, a place where I could interrogate him. I would let some of my enjoyment seep through to number one. The anticipation of our bond, the thrill of my genuine enjoyment, would gradually seep through and compel others to witness it. But that would be once I had extracted the knowledge from that book. Damien would have no idea if they knew about the book and Damon being a wizard. He would not want him to know, so he would keep his mouth shut. There would be a lot more questions to be asked and everything would change.
I knew that our time would be limited once they arrived, but that was part of my plan. I wanted them to see the extent of what I had become, and what I had done. I would willingly descend into a dark place, with no desire to return. Uncertain if anyone besides Magnum would assist me, I remembered how Wulfe had put me to sleep during the wedding, though that was nothing compared to what I was prepared to do now.
My plunge into my darkness would be deep and thrilling, enjoyment, well, I was one hell of a strong creature enjoying my prey, torturing and I would have that point, pretty much destroyed us, me and Damon so he might not want to have anything to do with me.
I believed I was doing the right thing, but damn, it was difficult. Even Adam and Charles loved me, yet they would likely be under Mariella's influence, obedient to Damon's will. I couldn't trust them to pull me back. Magnum, not belonging to the pack, might offer help, but would they allow him to help me? Of course, there was a chance I would end up sedated, confined in a cage, or subjected to whatever punishment Damon concocted. But I had no other choice. None at all.
Maybe one day, after everything was said and done, I could explain my motives to them. However, by then, so much would have transpired that there would be no happy ending for me. Damon might even cast me out of the pack, simply because I had manipulated everyone. It was a risk I had to take.
Eternity is a long time, and as an immortal, I would have to sacrifice everything for the sake of the future. It was simply who I was. For the first time, I felt a strange sense of gratitude that Jake and Rob were not here to witness this. Even their love might not have endured my darkness.
I felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness, like a heavy weight on my chest, suffocating me. The world seemed jaded and worn, as if every color had faded away. Determination burned within me, a flickering flame amidst the darkness.
As I contemplated the choices I had made, I yearned for a different life. A life where the pack thrived, where safety and peace reigned, and where Damien's taunts, threats, and attacks were nonexistent. The past haunted Damon, reminding him of his weaknesses and the choices that led him here.
I had endured countless hardships, each one shaping me for this ultimate test. Could I rise above it all? The answer eluded me, as I couldn't help but ponder Constantine's warnings. Those who had succumbed to hatred and destroyed these books had lost their goodness, their way. Time would reveal what fate awaited me.
As a pretender, even my darkness threatened to consume me. I wondered if I could pretend to be the same person, if I still had a place among the pack. I couldn't reveal my plan to them. My family members were unaware, and Damon's pride would never allow it. He would try to find a way for him to be the one destroying Damien and that book. Mariella, although strong-willed, couldn't summon enough hatred. Mimosa, pure and untainted, couldn't understand the depths of my darkness and desperation. Only through my sacrifice, fueled by my own hate, could I make it strong enough. I was the darkest of us. Damien's victim and I lost everything in his hands.
Ironically, Constantine had informed me it wasn't just one individual who destroyed those books, but a group. Yet, I believed I possessed enough strength to shoulder this burden alone. As there was no choice here.
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