Capítulo 145: Moonlit Elegance
As soon as Xuan Yue set down her bowl and chopsticks, Gong Shaohua tenderly offered her the warming stove she had been cradling in her hands, gently smoothing the wind-tousled strands of Xuan Yue's hair. "On such a cold day, why are you dressed so lightly? What if you catch a chill?"
Xuan Yue accepted the warming stove, cradling it against her chest, and took Gong Shaohua's hand, placing it on her lap. "Mother, your hands are so cold. I must have a word with Xu Mama when we return."
Xuan Yue continued to rub Gong Shaohua's hands. "I know you care for me, but there's no need to worry too much. I haven't grown up in the palace and have long since learned to care for myself. You should focus on taking care of your health instead of fretting over me."
Xuan Yue patted Gong Shaohua's hand, her calm demeanor unchanged despite Gong Shaohua's words.
Gong Shaohua clasped Xuan Yue's hand, her tone sincere and heartfelt. "The battlefield is no child's play; your life could be at stake at any moment. I know you are capable, but as the saying goes, 'an open attack is easy to dodge, but a hidden arrow is hard to defend against.' The more allies, the stronger the force. Xuan Er has honed his skills in the martial world for years and has now become a formidable figure. As husband and wife, you should face challenges together. Although I am currently at Lanyin Temple, I am still aware of the affairs in the court. Defending our country is a duty for men; how can Xuan Er, as a ruler, allow you to take his place on the battlefield? That is a shirking of responsibility, unbefitting of a man. What I mean is that Xuan Er should accompany you, for that would bolster the morale of our troops."
"That is precisely what I mean," Xuan Yue replied coldly, releasing Gong Shaohua's hand and sitting up straighter.
She fixed her gaze on Gong Shaohua. The flickering light of the night danced in the cold wind, casting shadows on Gong Shaohua's noble features, merging her dignified smile with the visage of another.
Xuan Yue couldn't fathom this contradiction; were they not bound by blood? They were clearly family, so why perpetuate the grievances of the previous generation? Wasn't Lan Yi Xuan's heart once heavy with sorrow? A person like him—if not out of deep-seated hatred, why would he be so determined to seek revenge?
"Master Lan has mentioned to me numerous times that he wishes to accompany you, but I did not agree."
Upon hearing that Lan Yi Xuan wanted to accompany Xuan Yue, Gong Shaohua's eyes sparkled with delight. Yet, when Xuan Yue expressed her disagreement, her grip tightened on her lap, but her face quickly resumed its usual warm smile, a myriad of emotions flickering beneath the light, clear to Xuan Yue.
"I truly cannot fathom what you are thinking, dear. If Xuan Er wishes to join you, why refuse him? Has he wronged you in some way, or is there another reason you would share with your mother?"
Gong Shaohua, acting like a kind and caring elder, gently patted Xuan Yue's hand. "Xuan Er has never been one to easily get close to others; I have always worried about this. Do you know how much joy it brings me to see you two together? If you leave, what will Xuan Er do if something were to happen to you? You should go together; after all, you were wed only recently. Must you part so soon?"
Xuan Yue gazed at Gong Shaohua, her expression still one of sweetness and charm, allowing her mother to hold her hand and listening to her words, fighting the urge to laugh.
Sadness, helplessness, anger, and even hatred surged within her. She longed to scream and question what had turned Lan Yi Xuan into such a recluse.
As they joked and laughed, displaying their affection, it filled her with warmth; yet, the more they gained, the greater the pain would be when it was lost. The deeper their happiness now, the more agonizing the revelation of the truth would be. It would be unbearable, akin to death; was that not what Gong Shaohua desired? Would there be accidents on the battlefield? Could it happen? Perhaps, if such a day came, would she finally be free? Would it leave her brother and Master Lan in perpetual pain? She couldn't bear that.
Indeed, since their wedding, barely three months had passed, and now they were to part. She wondered if they would ever meet again after this separation. Did she truly believe she was willing? She did not wish to part with Lan Yi Xuan, nor did she want to end her happiness so swiftly, but could she decide this? Liu Xinyou was loathsome, yet Gong Shaohua—who, knowing everything, still pushed her forward—was she not the one more deserving of scorn?
"Mother, there is nothing I can do."
Although Xuan Yue's smile remained, her voice bore a hint of stiffness. She sought to say more, but Gong Shaohua interjected, "What do you mean there's nothing you can do? Did you not say Xuan Er wants to be with you? Why do you insist he stay in Lan Guo? Would it not be better for you both to go to the battlefield together? United in heart and strength, you could return victorious sooner. Is that not the best outcome?"
Xuan Yue lowered her head, falling into silence as the date of their parting loomed closer. With each passing moment, her heart grew increasingly restless.
"Foolish child, you must consider carefully. Once you depart, what will the court ministers do to pressure Xuan Er into taking a consort? Men, they are fickle as the winds. Surely, you understand this? Your father adored your mother, yet once your mother was gone, did he not quickly take to the three palaces and six courtyards? Xuan Er is still young and his temperament unstable; if he were to fancy another woman, what would you do?"
Xuan Yue sniffed, feeling a chill seep into her heart. She felt no worry that Lan Yi Xuan would turn his affections elsewhere; she understood him well. If that were to happen, she might feel some comfort. If he were to fall for another woman, if he were to place his feelings in someone else's hands, then perhaps it would not hurt as much to leave her life behind.
"But if you both go to war together, it will be different. Fighting side by side, sharing both joy and hardship, there is no other woman in the world like you; your place in his heart is irreplaceable. Did you not express a wish for a lifetime together? Only this way will he have only you in his life. My dear, although Xuan Er is my child, I also care for you deeply, and that is why I share these thoughts with you."
Xuan Yue nodded at Gong Shaohua, her heart aching for her mother's words, which struck deep. It was indeed moving; had she not known of the events from that day, perhaps she might have changed her mind. What woman would wish to share her beloved man with another?
Xuan Yue smiled faintly, her gaze drifting beyond Gong Shaohua's shoulder to the dark abyss of the cliff behind her, which seemed poised to swallow her whole.
She already felt weary.
"Mother," Xuan Yue called softly, "are you well here?"
Xuan Yue suddenly shifted the topic. Gong Shaohua was naturally reluctant, but she had much to say regarding Xuan Yue's question.
"Did you not see?" she replied, a clear hint of complaint in her tone.
"No matter what I do, there are eyes watching, and I have no freedom of movement. I cannot even step outside to take a look. I am surrounded by those aunts every day, their incessant presence is maddening. Finding someone to speak with is impossible; what is there to appreciate but this isolation?"
Xuan Yue was taken aback by Gong Shaohua's response. She hadn't expected her mother to so openly express her grievances, words unbecoming of her status. In Xuan Yue's eyes, this place was not bad, for she had endured a more desolate place, Pear Blossom Chamber, for ten years. There was nowhere in the world she could not endure; yet, for a woman as ambitious as her, the constant chant of sutras would undoubtedly feel grating.
"I have spent over thirty years with the late king. He knows my temperament, yet after his passing, he places me in such a desolate place, utterly disregarding our marital bond. Thirty years—"
"I cared for him for over thirty years; I may not have earned merit, but I have endured hardships. I never expected he would make such a decision."
Gong Shaohua's voice remained calm, yet that tranquility masked a storm of rage and resentment beneath.
Thirty years—a bond forged over three decades of marriage—everything that the King of Lan could offer to Gong Shaohua had been given. Over those years, he bestowed upon her wealth, power, and the utmost honor. Indeed, such a profound connection, where a day of marriage is worth a hundred days of grace, raises the question: why had the late king exiled her to this desolate place? Was it merely because one trivial matter had not gone her way that he chose to erase all his previous sacrifices? Xuan Yue began to understand why, despite the passing years, she remained unwilling to release her grip on Lan Yixuan; she was fundamentally a person living in the shadow of resentment.
"They say a woman's heart is as deep as the ocean, and men are even more inscrutable. Therefore, Yue'er, at this moment, you must not part ways with Xuan'er," Gong Shaohua implored.
Xuan Yue smiled faintly, withdrawing her hand from Gong Shaohua's grasp and rising to her feet, turning her back to her. "I never expected you would utter such words, Mother."
She was human, not a deity, and facing those calculating, venomous eyes, she questioned whether she might lose control. The mere thought of Liu Xinyou ignited a desire for vengeance within her; she could envision dismembering her. If they were to cross paths again, she would willingly risk her life to claim Liu's.
These people were utterly detestable. Why must they shatter the happiness she had fought so hard to attain? Why treat her in such a manner? The seething anger within her felt as if it might consume her, yet she could only stifle it, forcefully suppressing her emotions, unable to vent her frustrations on Lan Yixuan, nor on the woman standing behind her.
"Mother, I have made my decision."
Xuan Yue straightened her back, refusing to allow any dissent.
"I do not agree," Gong Shaohua stated firmly, rising and stepping toward Xuan Yue, her determination entirely expected.
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